I lean back against him like before and contemplate his question. “I think it’s going to take some time to process it all. But knowing he had his reasons for leaving in the first place and that he still looked in on us helps. It doesn’t take away the loss of all those years, but it makes it hurt a little less.”
His arms wrap around me tightly as he kisses my temple, letting me draw strength from his embrace. Without words, he tells me he’s here for me with his steady presence and unwavering comfort. Together, we sit in the stillness, waiting for the moment when I’ll have to start the fire and let go of my father and all that he was to me.
I’m not sure how much time passes when Caiden gives us the signal, I don’t remember standing up or walking with Finn to join the others. It’s like I blinked and was suddenly standing in front of the crudely stacked frame made of dismantled posh furniture. Lying on top and wrapped in a rich tapestry of black, silver, and midnight blue is all that’s left of my father, and soon there won’t even be that as his ashes scatter in the desert wind to find their way to Mag Mell.
We form a semi-circle with me in the center. Finn and the twins are to my right with Dmitri, Caiden, and Bryn to my left. No one rushes me, no one shifts impatiently. They simply stand and wait for me.
“Go dtí go gcasfar le chéile sinn arís, Athair.” Until we meet again, father.
Summoning large balls of fire in my upturned palms brings back his final words to me, the same ones he said to me that night of the Scorched Sky. Believe in your fire.
My throat tightens with emotion and my eyes fill with pricks of moisture as I whisper softly, “I’ll try, Athair. For you.”
Then I push the fire into the bottom of the makeshift structure and drag in a deep, shuddering breath. Finn gathers me in his arms as the flames of the pyre grow stronger, casting a violet glow against the sea of darkness. I watch as they engulf my father’s body, his silhouette blurred by the heat and my tears. Each snap and pop of the wood seems to echo the shattering of my heart.
As time passes, the others begin to drift farther away, giving me space to mourn. Even Finn eventually kisses my head and leaves, understanding I need to be alone with my thoughts. I stand there for hours, memories I have of my father floating through my mind alternating with the memories he showed me.
I think about fate. I think about Finn and my mother and Edevane and Moira and how we’re all connected by tenuous strands of destiny. I think of how we each have our part to play, and how I want the game to go moving forward.
Because fate might have made some of our moves for us, but I’m going to make my own from here on out, and there’s only one way this is going to end.
When the last of the embers die out and my father’s ashes begin to float into the pink-orange glow of the sunrise, I turn and walk to where the others are resting near the truck. They get to their feet and look at me expectantly, understandably waiting to see what I want to do next.
But I’m done mourning for now. Sadness has turned into fierce determination, and I’m ready to see this through.
“Let’s go. It’s time to kill a king.”
THIRTYFINNIAN
The vast expanse of Joshua Tree is a rugged landscape that feels like the edge of the world, and where we’re going, it actually is.
Before leaving Vegas, we stopped for changes of clothes and supplies, then Dmitri, Connor, and Conall hopped into my Range Rover with me and Taryn. The drive is a quiet one, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and the steady hum of the engine.
Since leaving the desert where we honored Garyth, Taryn has been understandably somber. I’ve never felt as helpless as when I stood with her in front of the pyre, watching the smoke and ash spiral into the night sky as she said her final goodbyes.
I wish like hell I could’ve spared her that pain. She’s lost so much already in her lifetime, and although her relationship with her mother is a complicated one, I know losing her too would destroy Taryn. I can’t change what happened to Garyth, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure Aine doesn’t face the same fate, and so will Taryn.
As the last of the flames died down, I could feel her channeling her anguish into a renewed desire for retribution, compartmentalizing the loss to focus on the mission ahead. After we take Edevane down and save Faerie, there will be plenty of time for her to process everything, and I’ll be there for her when she does.
The tentative bond we’ve shared since I first held her Armas grew in strength when I drank from her at the penthouse. Then, when she drank from me as we sat alone on that rock, the bond surged with our combined powers, and its strength hasn’t diminished. In that moment, I felt my essence coursing through her just as I feel hers within me.
Any doubts I had have been completely erased. My connection with Taryn is profound and undeniable, and I believe in what my grandmother was trying to tell me all along in her letter. That Taryn and I were destined for each other.
“There it is,” she says.
I pull the Rover to a stop just as the sun begins to dip below the horizon, casting long shadows across the arid terrain. The desert air is cool against our skin, and I wonder how the air in Faerie will feel once we pass through the veil. After a lifetime of dreaming of this moment, it’s hard to believe I’m about to find out. That the experience will be tainted by the reason for which it happens only serves to fuel my hatred for Edevane all the more.
The others join us in front of the truck, their faces set with grim determination. We’re each dressed in black boots, combat pants, and T-shirts and have packs with lightweight sleeping bags and food provisions. We’re as ready as we can be for a place four of us know nothing about and the fifth hasn’t seen in about five hundred years.
“Connor, Conall,” I say. “Keep your eyes peeled in case Edevane left us a welcoming party. I don’t sense anything, but that doesn’t mean much when he has Taryn’s powers.”
“Copy that,” they say together and post up.
Now that we know Edevane knows how to use the spear, we’re all too aware that we’re at a painful disadvantage as a mere party of five. Unfortunately, neither of my brothers are in positions to join us, and Taryn wouldn’t have enough blood to spare to allow the Night Watch to cross the veil with us. The twins already drank what we collected last night, so we should all be good to go.
“All right, everyone, our plan is simple. Taryn says this portal will take us to the center where all six regions meet. As soon as we’re through, we head in the direction of Tír Tairngire and get to the Summer Palace to warn Aine of what’s coming. Then we work together to stop Edevane.”
Taryn swings her pack onto her shoulder. “Providing she doesn’t throw us into the dungeon just for trespassing. And, yes, she actually does have one.”
Conall snorts. “Don’t tell Tier, he’ll have dungeon-envy.”
“One hurdle at a time, guys. First, we need to see if the veil even allows us to cross. If not,” I say regretfully, “Taryn and Dmitri will have to go on alone.”
Dmitri picks his pack up from the ground, his bogatyr swords sheathed at his hips. “Then let us find out now. I am anxious for battle.”
“Let’s go,” Taryn says and leads the way.
We move towards a particular cluster of rocks, where the air seems to shimmer with an otherworldly light. This is where the veil between the human world and Faerie is thinnest, a hidden gateway for those who know how to find it. Taryn pauses, her hand gripping mine tightly. I can feel the tension in her, the mix of grief and resolve that drives her forward.
“This is it?” Dmitri asks. “We go through here?”
Taryn nods, her eyes fixed on the shimmering light. “We have to be ready for anything.”
Conall studies the portal. “Without knowing if three of us can cross, I don’t know what the best order to go through is.”
“I do,” Connor says. “It’s wide enough for three of us, so me, Conall, and Dmitri go through together. If it doesn’t let my brother and I through, Dmitri is still on the other side to greet whatever’s there before you go in, Taryn. If all three of us get through, then we’ll at least get a jump on anything before the two of you join us.”
Dmitri nods, unsheathing his swords. “This is a good plan.”
