“You wish.” He pushed me toward the passenger side and then shoved my dumb ass into the seat. “I figure you’ll be a little smarter with some bacon grease and a pot of coffee in that stomach of yours.”
“Mmh,” I nodded marginally, “It’s not your worst idea ever.”
“None of my ideas are bad ones.” He argued, turning the truck on and pulling out toward the diner across town. The only place open all night.
“Helping me is.” I laid my head against the window. “I don’t deserve it.”
“Some day, someone is going to say the same thing about me after I let my past get in the way of my future again. And maybe this is just my way of hoping you’re standing there, burdening some of the blows and reaching a hand out to me as I find my way back out of the hole I dig.”
“Philosophical.” I muttered, “Someday I’m going to appreciate the forethought.”
He chuckled and shook his head as he pulled into the lot under the neon glow of the fifties-style diner. “You know who would say something just like that to me when I try to be nice?” He put the truck in park and waited for me to look at him. “Lex.”
“Hmm.” I nodded, trying to dissolve the ache in my chest, knowing I fucked everything up with all three of them for good and I’d never get to see her get the healing she deserved. “Interesting.”
A couple of long hours and an obscene amount of coffee later, I was driving into my driveway at half-past six in the morning.
I dropped Trey off at his place and drove home, far more sober than I had been when he found me. And forced myself to face the fury and pain I created without hiding out anymore.
The people inside of my house deserved that much, at least.
There were no lights on inside and the sun was just barely peeking over the mountains, which meant everyone was probably still asleep. So I quietly made my way inside, hanging my keys on the hook by the door I had used for years, wondering if I would still have such privileges tomorrow.
I kicked my boots off and moved through the house to the kitchen, intent on not disturbing anyone, when I heard something coming from upstairs. The master bedroom was directly above the kitchen, yet it took my tired brain far too long to identify the sound.
Maybe it was because of the turmoil burning in my gut, or the thought that perhaps that same turmoil would be affecting those I loved, but I wasn’t expecting to hear what I did.
Moans.
Skin.
Laughs.
The solidification of my future fell into place, as I fell into a chair at the kitchen table, and listened to the three people I wanted more than anything, happily enjoying themselves without me.
They deserved that. They deserved the happiness that pleasure could bring. And I deserved to be completely gutted by it.
So I sat there, listening to Knox's groans, followed by Hannah’s cry of ecstasy, moments before Lex’s melodic voice followed hers as she gave into bliss.
Four days ago, they would have invited me into that heaven. Today, I sat on the outside.
Rightfully so.
I covered my mouth when all I wanted to do was howl in agony as I listened to my private torment. For them, I’d endure.
And then I’d leave for good.
Chapter 29 – Lex
Iwalked back from the bathroom to find Hannah and Knox both passed out again. They were nearly in the same position I’d left them in when I went to pee after another, mind-blowing orgasm.
Courtesy of Knox’s incredibly talented tongue. The man was insatiable, addicted to making me come with his mouth since he had his first taste last night.
Four times overnight, he woke Hannah and me up for more.
Four.
I didn’t know men had stamina that high, but he continuously proved me wrong. This last time I had woken up to him sliding his hard cock through my already wet pussy from behind. Just like he had done in the shower, using that space between my lips and thighs to push through and drive us both crazy. Turns out he had been thrusting into me like that for a while, but my sleep-deprived brain had left me in dreamland, where I was imagining another man giving me pleasure instead of Knox.
Brody.
I woke up thinking it was Brody’s hands on my tits and Brody’s lips on my neck and as I crested my orgasm and fell off the other side of it; it was Brody’s name that I narrowly kept from falling off my lips as I begged for more.
I’d been so fucking close to telling Knox to just push deep into me and give me what we both desperately wanted. But I held off.
It didn’t feel right to cross that bridge without Brody with us.
Hell, a part of me even felt a little guilty for letting Knox make me come on repeat while Brody still thought he was missing. At least I thought that’s what he was thinking.
I was under strict instructions from Hannah and Reyna not to contact Brody. Not yet.
But it felt wrong. He deserved to be here and Knox deserved to have Brody working on healing the pain he caused. How would they ever get past the fight if they never talked about it?
Wasn’t that the goal anyway, to move past it and heal from it?
Maybe I was wrong, it was my first relationship after all.
