"Breathe," he said softly.
"Yes, sir."
"My name is Blaec. They call me LT. It's ok for you to do the same." He slowly pulled his hand away. "You're taking all of this rather well."
"Not really, sir," she said honestly. "I just got hit in the head then started hearing voices. It's just that I'd better learn to roll with it or I'll be sitting back at a desk tomorrow."
He smiled as he stood. "Fair 'nough. Ok, soldier. The next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow."
"Yes, sir. I wouldn't miss it for the world. And before you say it, I understand my place and that being able to hear your thoughts does not guarantee that I will be chosen."
The Lieutenant moved a step closer. His hand found her shoulder, one finger brushing the skin at her neck. "There's nothing wrong with being iliri, Sal. Whether you pass the trials or not, our kind tends to stick together." He tried to meet her eyes, but she couldn't. "Do you understand me?"
Sal bit her lip, unsure of how to answer, so just nodded.
"And I won't touch you again, unless I have permission. None of the Blades will. You are not our pet."
"I'm no one's pet, sir. Not anymore."
He stood. "No, not anymore. You're also not alone, but..."
The emotion she smelled was confusing. Protective? Supportive? Timid? Scared? They were all mingled together into one, but she couldn't begin to guess why the leader of the most capable military unit in the country would feel like that around her.
She finished the thought he left hanging. "But you can't give me an advantage in the trials. I understand, sir. You need to choose the best soldier to keep your men safe." She dared to look up at him.
"Yes. Exactly. That doesn't mean we won't help you in other ways. There aren't that many of us left."
"More than you know," she shot back, her ears flicking defensively. "Serving all over the country. We're locked in cages, chained with poverty, leashed by laws... There's thousands of iliri in this country."
He shook his head. "I mean those who've found their place. I have to protect my men at all costs. I have to do what is the best for them. Not for me, not for you, but for them. You can't hide what you are, but we've been doing it for years."
"I understand, sir," she said, turning to the door, her heart sinking. He was trying to tell her that she'd never pass, but she wouldn't give up that easy. She wouldn't just walk away without a fight. "Thank you for giving me the chance to try."
"Next trial starts at 1300 tomorrow, Private. Be there."
She nodded as her hand closed on the knob. Even if she wouldn't get accepted, maybe she could get a referral to another elite unit. It was worth a shot. "I'll be there until I'm dismissed, sir. I won't be scared off."
"Good. Have a good evening, Private."
She pulled open the door to find Shift standing in the street, waiting. At the sound, he looked up with a smile. "Ok, little one, let me show you to your room and keep the big baddies away from you."
"Thanks, Shift. I can take care of myself, you know."
He just laughed and gestured up the street. Together they walked past the row of cabins. "I know you could," he said, finally. "Doesn't mean you should have to. This black uniform of mine gives us both a little protection that your white skin doesn't get."
"Yep." She watched the dirt pass beneath her feet, trying to ignore the resentment that was welling up.
"You know it's ok to feel things, right?" He stepped into her path, forcing her to look up. "Seriously, Luxx, you don't have to play human around me. You reek of your emotions, and you can't bottle everything up like this. You'll go brerror."
"I don't even know what that means, but it's Sal."
"Shit, right." With a sigh he moved back to her side and kept walking. "It means loner, Sal. Lone wolf, anti-social, banished from society."
"Isn't..." her throat was clenching, so she took a deep breath and tried again. "Isn't that what I am now?"
"No. I think you're just lonely. I think you can't trust anyone." He rested a hand on her shoulder, touching nothing but cloth. "I also think you could use a friend."
"Never really had one before," she admitted, her ears sinking lower on her head.
He saw and nodded. "Well, I'm here, if you decide I'll do. I can't give you special treatment in the trials or anything, but I've always got an ear."
"Nice flat ones," she mumbled, aware of how abnormal her own were.
He heard. "They may not work as well as yours, but they're available."
They walked on in silence. At number 12, he paused, then entered first, making his way across the dark room. Her slit eyes dilated fully and Sal could see the lantern on the table in shades of grey while Shift sought it by feel. His fingers bumped into it, then he fumbled in his pocket and brought out a striker. A few flicks later, a spark landed on the oil-soaked wick, bringing a golden glow into the tiny room.
"It's not much, but it's yours for a bit."
"Thanks, Shift. I really do appreciate it."
"Welcome. Your bag's in the wardrobe. Packed between the Blades, no one will give you shit. It's the best we could do to cut down on the harassment."
She nodded, looking around the room. It wasn't much, but the bed looked soft, the furniture would hold her things, and the bathing chamber was private. It was much nicer than the quarters she was usually assigned. When she turned back to Shift, she was smiling.
"It's perfect. Thank you."
"So you know, I'm two doors down in 14. Arctic is next door on the other side in 11 and Zep is across the street in 17. The others are scattered on this row, but if you need us..." He let the words trail off, an open invitation.
