“I…” What am I supposed to say? I’m flattered? I want you too? I wish you’d do it again and let me watch?
But Nathan isn’t waiting for a response. He’s a man at confession, head bowed, tortured by his sins.
“And all of that bothered me because of this.” He digs in his pocket and pulls out a folded check. He hands it to me, and that dreadful silence descends again. I take the money, pinching it between my thumb and forefinger like I’m afraid to touch it. This complicates everything, but I can’t not take it.
“Nathan, I…” I swallow hard, ready to tell him about my mom so he understands why I have to take the money, but he flips on his turn signal and pulls into a driveway filled with his cousins and their spouses.
He stops the car and stares for a long moment. His lips part and he takes a breath and the look on his face is a warning. What he just said changes everything, but what he’s about to say scares him even more.
“That check is for the design work. Not the dates. Not the kiss. Not our time together. Those are mine.” Nathan’s gaze is intense as his cousin Angela pulls open his car door.
“There you are! I do miss the days when you were always on time instead of constantly running late.” She leans in and waves.
I’ve never been so disappointed to see a friendly face.
TWENTY-ONE
Nathan
Garrett’s boat glides through the water. Mina leans on the rail, watching the horizon. A warm breeze lifts her hair off her shoulders, and she turns to catch me staring. The sky matches her eyes, bright and blue and clear. The corners of her lips twitch upwards and she drops her gaze before giving her attention back to Angela and Micah’s wife, Ivy.
What the hell was I thinking?
Not the dates. Not the kiss. Not our time together. Those are mine.
Who says something like that? Worse, who says something like that right after admitting he jerked off and right before it becomes impossible to talk about either thing?
What a stupid, stupid move.
What’s Mina thinking?
What happens next?
Where do we go from here?
There’s no undo. No going back. No claiming my actions were for show or that she misunderstood or I was caught up in the moment. By admitting how I’m feeling, I irrevocably changed things between us. For better or worse, that’s yet to be seen.
Micah claims the seat beside me, shit-eating grin fully engaged, elbows on knees, already half laughing at whatever he’s about to say.
“What?” I growl with a shake of my head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“It’s nothing.” His grin intensifies.
“It’s something or you wouldn’t look so proud of yourself.”
“I can’t believe you’re the same asshole who bailed on my wedding. That’s all.”
“He did what?” Mina turns to us, surprise dancing across her face. Turns out she is not a vintage bathing suit kind of gal and favors red and skimpy instead. Something I should have expected, considering the dress she wore to my birthday party.
“Micah’s making it sound worse than it was,” I say quickly. “I didn’t bail. I was there for the wedding and most of the reception.”
“Most.” Micah runs a hand over his head, then gives his attention right back to Mina. “He claims to have seen us cut the cake and stayed for our first dance, but I didn’t see him. He was too heartbroken to stick around.”
He’s got me there. I had just discovered Blossom was cheating. I was drinking a lot. Wallowing more than that. I wanted what Micah had with Ivy and felt too broken to ever find it. I was going downhill fast, until I had the idea to expand the foundation. Throwing myself into work saved me.
But spending time with Mina saved me more. Our eyes meet, her blues as soothing as cool water on a summer day. I smile despite myself before giving my attention back to Micah with a snort.
“You were too enamored with your new wife to care if I was there or not.”
“She’s easy to be enamored with. No doubt.” Micah holds out his hands to Ivy. When she takes them, he pulls her into his lap and nuzzles her hair and rubs his hands over a barely there baby bump while she squeals in delight.
Mina leans her back on the rail, hair dancing in the breeze, her focus on me and me alone. “Why were you heartbroken at his wedding?”
Her eyes hold mine. They’re soft. Concerned and questioning. There’s so much we don’t know about each other. Something I want to remedy.
My God, do I want to remedy it. I want to know her. To explore her. To understand her.
I swore never to be involved again and the first woman I meet changes my tune. I’m either an idiot or extremely lucky.
I lift a hand to dismiss Mina’s question, but Micah surfaces from kissing his wife to open his big fat mouth. “Because of Blossom. He’d just found out she was cheating…” He bites his lip then turns to me with a frown. “Am I saying too much? I assumed she knew. I mean, it seems like something you guys would have covered by now.”
Does it? At what stage does one disclose the “I’m a moron who fully supported a manipulating narcissist and her daughters for two years” story?
Well, hell.
If Micah thinks Mina should know, then I’ll roll with it and hope she’s ready to roll with it too.
“You remember,” I say, my eyes locked on hers like I can beam the information into her brain. “I’d just found out Blossom was cheating, and she’d said all that awful stuff about only being with me for my money, which was super clear retrospectively because I’d been supporting her and her daughters for two years…”
Mina’s brows lift with surprise which she quickly hides by sucking in her lips and bobbing her head. “Oh, right. Yeah. Of course. She was cheating on you. After using you for your money.” Thoughts tick across her face, like she found the missing piece to a puzzle and she’s fitting it into place. “Which was really hard for someone who dedicated his life to making the world a better place.”
She softens even farther.
Uncomfortable, I shrug off the observation. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“I’d go that far,” Ivy replies with a gentle smile. “You’ve spent your whole life trying to apologize for being born into a wealthy family and only doubled down on that after the whole Blossom thing.”
“There was talk you were trying to work yourself into an early grave.” Garrett leans back in his seat. “Not that I think that’s actually possible.”
“Between the long days at the foundation and the late nights with all the ‘dazzling and spectacular’ women, it wasn’t looking good for our boy Nathan.” Micah shakes his head and sighs dramatically.
How many times do I have to defend myself on this?
“As I’ve said many times before, the women were for Dom. I tagged along to secure donations from their wealthy relatives.”
“Speaking of donations!” Angela claps her hands under her chin, grinning widely. “Mina should totally take part in the auction for the gala! I’m assuming she’ll be there. Why wouldn’t she when she makes you look like that?”
“Like what?” I shoot my cousin a glance, warning her to tread carefully. She shoots one back, informing me she’ll do what she wants.
