“At the very least, you owe Nathan an apology and you owe each other a bullshit free conversation.”
“I’ve tried that, but he’s not ready to talk.”
“If he’s worth it, you’ll find a way to make him hear you. And if he’s the kind of man you want him to be, he’ll listen.”
I replay the last few days one more time. Nathan arriving Friday night, heartbroken over his cousin Nick. Telling me he was falling in love with me and then after an emotional rollercoaster of a night, waking up to discover I’ve been hiding something big from him…
Not my best moment.
But then he lashed out when I tried to apologize and explain…
Not his best moment.
But after wasting years with a woman who was using him for her own benefit, I guess I see why.
Damn it.
I really don’t look good in this situation.
I meet Benjamin’s eyes with a long sigh. “I appreciate you listening to me and giving your honest opinion. I hope I didn’t strain the boundaries of our relationship.”
“I don’t feel strained at all.” He looks pleasantly surprised. “Honestly, it’s usually the other way around.”
We finish the meeting and I feel more energized than I have in days. While I don’t exactly feel better about the Nathan situation, I do feel more solid. Admitting to myself that he has a genuine reason to be angry doesn’t feel great, but it gives me something to work with. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel taken advantage of. While that’s not what I was doing, I understand why he feels that way.
Now I just need to figure out how to help him see.
FORTY-ONE
Mina
I leave the office, intending to head home, but make an unscheduled stop when a Help Wanted sign in the front window of a bar catches my attention. With the advance I got from Nathan, my finances are fine. Tight. But fine. But given where we are? Using that money seems wrong. When he was The Prince of Darkness and I was the Hot Mess Express and everything between us was a show we put on for others, it only seemed right to be paid for my efforts. But now that he’s Nathan and I’m Mina and we were falling in love, spending that money feels dirty. Considering he called me a whore for clicks, it feels downright filthy.
So.
I should give it back.
Except I can’t pay Mom’s bills without it.
Unless I get that second job I’ve been thinking about—hence my interest in the Help Wanted sign.
Working two jobs will be hard, especially given the extra clients I’ve added to my roster. And I’ll be tired. But I’ll be able to take care of Mom and maybe help Nathan realize I didn’t think of him as an opportunity like his friend Dom swears I did.
With a resigned sigh, I pull into the bar’s parking lot and walk inside to ask for an application.
Twenty minutes later, I walk back to my car with a job and an idea. Benjamin and Tad helped me realize how bad Fallon has made Nathan look. I don’t know where he and I stand and that sucks. I wish he’d talk to me so I can apologize and try to make things right. Until then, the very least I can do is some damage control on his reputation.
Instead of driving home, I go to Fallon’s house. It’s small, but impeccably maintained, with flowerpots lining the steps leading to the porch she sweeps every day. I used to think she had great taste and wasn’t afraid of hard work, but I’m starting to believe image means more to her than it should. That the impeccable clothing and hair and landscaping speak more to her need to feel better than other people than an innate sense of style or self-worth.
I’m not in the mood for the conversation she wants, but I’ll negate my irritation long enough to see if she’ll help me do right by Nathan. A man like him deserves a little discomfort on my part if it will help show the world who he really is.
With a bracing sigh, I knock on my friend’s freshly painted red door. Seconds later, it cracks open.
Fallon peeks out, then throws the door wide with a grin. “I knew you’d forgive me!”
I step out of hug range, hands up, warding her off. “We have a long way to go before we’re there.”
Fallon huffs and draws up short. Her gold-shadowed eyes flicker with annoyance. “Then why are you here?”
“I want you to do something for me.”
“Anything. You name it. I’ll do it.” She steps forward again, hands out, eager to put our friendship back together. If she’s the person I thought she was before all this, then I am too. But if she’s the person I think I’m starting to see, then I’m not sure I want anything to do with her.
“I want you to publish an apology article on your blog for Nathan.”
“An apology?” Fallon physically retreats, shaking her head like she smells something nasty. “That’ll ruin my credibility.”
And there it is. Her first thought is her damn blog. Not her impact on Nathan’s life or her supposed best friend. She’s seen firsthand how her choices affected me. That should mean something.
“Seems fair,” I say, inwardly begging her to think about someone other than herself for a second. “You ruined his reputation. And our relationship.”
“He ruined his reputation.” Fallon steps outside and closes the door, then crosses her arms over her chest. “How is that my fault?”
How can she even ask that question?
“You grossly misrepresented his every move.”
