her cloak up and tried to stay in shadows as she made her way back to the colored section. She and Mourning put on their winter coats, hats, and gloves, and balled up some of their other clothing to pillow their heads. Then they stretched out head-to-toe, keeping a proper distance, with the water pouches, bag
of food, and Mourning’s tool case and bag between them.
They could hear other passengers being sick over the rail, but the gentle
motion of the boat seemed to agree with both of them. Neither of them felt like
talking and Olivia enjoyed silently watching the stars light up the strip of sky that was visible between the rail and the roof. She began eavesdropping on one
of the colored couples behind them.
“I don’t know how I let you bring us on this perilous, perilous journey,” the
woman, who was dreadfully seasick, was saying. “I’m a die right here on this cursed boat and that be for the best. Might as well meet my maker here, with my
children gathered round me, escape the dangers and tribulations of that
wilderness you dragging us to.”
Olivia smiled, thinking, she doesn’t mean a word of it. You can hear it in her
voice. It’s just their way. Olivia turned her head a bit; one look at the couple confirmed that opinion. The woman’s head rested on her husband’s chest. He
was smiling over the top of it as he held her close, stroking her hair and softly
repeating that everything was going to be all right.
It’s a sort of playacting, Olivia decided. She gets to say out loud all the thingsshe’s afraid of and the more she complains, the more he gets to show how patient
he is and how much he loves her.
Finally the man spoke. “You know I’m gonna build you a great big house in
the woods,” he said. “Under the tallest chestnut tree you ever seen. You ain’t never gonna do for no one else again. They gonna be a pump right inside the house and you gonna hang them curtains you been saving.”
Olivia turned to peek at them again, feeling terribly alone. She couldn’t help
being jealous of that woman. Maybe it isn’t so awful to have a man who wants to
take care of you, she thought, even if he does think that gives him the right toboss you now and then. I wouldn’t mind having someone hold me like that, make
me feel safe. Not if he was a kind and gentle man like that one. She wondered if Avis ever spoke that way with Mabel. She couldn’t imagine it, but Mrs.
Hardaway always said, “No one on the outside ever knows nothing about what
goes on between a man and a woman.”
Olivia drifted off to sleep, imagining strong arms around her and a soft voice
murmuring in her ear. She was startled awake by a colored boy leaning over her,
reaching for their bag of food.
“What do you think you’re doing?” She batted her arms and he disappeared
into the shadows.
Mourning sat up and she told him what had happened. They groped around in
the dark, taking count of their belongings. Nothing seemed to be missing.
Mourning found some twine in his toolbox and tied each piece of their luggage
to one of their limbs. Olivia sat hugging her knees, looking miserable.
“You don’t gotta be afeared,” Mourning said. “It was only a kid.”
“I’m not scared,” she said. “I just … I think maybe I hit him. I mean, I woke
up and there he was –”
“So you feelin’ bad?” He shook his head in disbelief. “You wanna feel sorry
’bout something, feel sorry you dint hit him harder. Little thief.”
“But he was just a little boy trying to take some food. What if he’s all alone
on this boat and hungry?”
