But since he hadn’t lived those years and she had, he also recognized pushing her on it was hardly fair. Even if a small part of him broke at the thought of her fending for herself at such a young age.
“I’m sorry for all of that. Most of all I’m sorry that the people who should have made you feel the safest in this world took no responsibility for that.”
Something flashed in her eyes. Memory? Hurt? A lingering anger she was fully entitled to?
It was hard to decipher and perhaps that was the point, Gavin acknowledged to himself. Emotions were complex and rarely black-and-white. All he could do was reinforce that he was there for her. For their child.
“Where is your mother now?”
“She died about a year after she left. Robin always worried it was suicide, but I looked into it a few times with the access I have at work.” She shrugged, the move anything but careless. “She was driving around late one night out in the small town she’d settled in on the end of Long Island. A drunk driver came at her the wrong way, and she was killed in the accident.”
“What was she doing out?”
“That was core to Robin’s concerns. That she’d gone looking for trouble. But she had nothing in her system, nor was she the one in the wrong lane. And while I’d agree she lived an aimless life, I don’t believe she made a deliberate choice to end it.”
Again, he recognized his job in this moment was to listen, but Gavin would hardly agree her mother’s choices weren’t deliberate. Not engaging in her daughter’s life was a choice, no matter how you cut it.
“My father was long gone by then. I don’t know if he even knew. Or if he even cares.”
In the end, it was those words that broke his heart. Because everything about Sera made him care.
Her heart.
Her ideas.
Her warmth.
There were so many facets to her, and he knew—positively knew—he’d only skimmed the surface so far.
And all he could really do, Gavin recognized, was prove to her that he wasn’t walking away.
A strong breeze kicked up, the wind carrying that bite early spring was capable of. Sera marveled at the turnout all around her as various members of the NYPD and what looked like nearly all the Harbor team stood in their dress uniforms outside the church deep in the heart of Sunset Bay.
They were burying Darius today.
She’d anticipated finding a quiet spot alone in the church, but Gavin had arrived bright and early at her apartment, ready to escort her for the day’s sad events. It was one more show of warmth that she was coming to learn was so like him.
They hadn’t seen each other since the dinner with her aunt and uncle and all the family information she’d shared after.
The conversation had left her rattled, but also glad she’d finally gone there. Told the tale. But maybe best of all, that she’d told Gavin and he’d...understood.
Oh, he’d pressed her, too. Given her quite a few things to think about, actually, in the two days since. She had taken on the abandonment of her parents as something wrong with her. And while the calm, rational, adult part of her knew the responsibility didn’t rest with her, the child inside struggled to find that truth.
But Gavin’s ready defense had gone a long way toward opening her adult eyes and shuttering the ones of her inner child a bit.
Especially now that she was going to be a mother.
The fierce protection she already felt for the life she carried had given her an additional perspective she’d never had before. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for her child. And the mere thought of abandoning him or her left her feeling bereft inside.
“Sera?”
With that lingering shot of conviction still roaring through her mind, Sera turned to find an elegant blonde woman who’d moved up next to her in the crowd. “Marlowe, right?”
“Yes. I’m married to Wyatt.” Despite the somber mood, a small smile tilted the woman’s lips at that statement. “I’m still getting used to saying that.”
“I hear you got married recently. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
They kept their voices low as they spoke of the service and the outpouring of love to Jayden and his family.
“I can’t stop thinking about Jayden. About the senseless loss. As a cop’s partner, you understand the risks to them.” Marlowe shook her head. “But when that risk is turned back on their partner? It’s got everyone upside down.”
Sera knew the description fit. Gavin’s obvious frustrations with the situation since the night of the shooting had been clear. It was like the order of things was wrong. Off. And it had all of them on edge.
“Do they have any additional leads?”
“Nothing. Arlo has put together a small team, and they’ve scoured whatever they can get their hands on, from doorbell cams to a full canvass of the neighborhood in a five-block radius around the bar. Nothing’s turned up. Not even a hint of the shooter.”
“Which makes it feel even more ominous. And deliberate,” Sera added, piecing it together.
Gavin had let her know they were still short of any real leads, but the additional information from Marlowe added an important dimension. That absolute lack of details meant they were dealing with someone more crafty and cunning than originally thought. To be that deft in avoiding detection meant someone was determined not to be identified or even seen.
Like a ghost.
“That’s Wyatt’s take, too. He’s not sure what they’re dealing with, but the entire team has ruled out anything random.” Marlowe glanced around at the assembled men and women in uniform. “My grandfather is a veteran cop, and I married one. I’ve been around the 86th precinct my entire life. When the force turns out like this, you know it’s important.”
Sera had sensed the same, but hearing the words—seeing it for herself—made it tangible somehow.
