“I don’t want you to go,” Kate says, her arm around Audrey’s shoulders. “I’m so sick of goodbyes.”
In such a short time, Audrey has become irreplaceable in her life. Kate understands how Audrey felt, having finally returned to Ilse only to have her die not long after.
Audrey squeezes Kate a little with her small arm. “But now you’ll know where to find me. I’ll be right here, if you need me. Only next time you’ll talk, and I’ll just listen.” Audrey pauses. “Do what I never could, Kate,” she says, “and forgive yourself for what you did. Please.”
Kate nods, on the verge of tears now in this melancholy spot. “I’m trying.”
Chapter 42
Kate
ALNWICK, ENGLAND | APRIL 2011
Kate looks up from her laptop and takes a sip of coffee. She’s been working furiously on polishing Audrey’s story and, at Audrey’s request, searching for more details on what happened to Friedrich Müller.
The buds are just beginning to burst on the trees surrounding the Oakwood. The daffodils and hyacinths are already in bloom at the stone gateway by the road, and in a few weeks, the spectacular cherry blossoms in the Alnwick Garden will make their seasonal appearance, drawing tourists from around the world. But Kate has kept the bookings closed. All the botanically titled rooms at the guesthouse remain vacant except for Rose and Elder, where Audrey is resting in palliative care.
As she keeps telling Kate, she’s lived for months after they told her there was nothing more to be done. “From birth, we’re all on borrowed time, anyway, Kate. Or maybe it’s stolen. Or gifted. I never really worked that bit out. Perhaps you will. But whatever it is, it is fleeting.”
Kate stands and walks to her bedroom window, looking down at the garden behind the hotel where Ian is building a set of new raised beds for herbs. The sleeves on his beige sweater are pushed up, and his hair falls a little across his forehead as he stoops to measure a piece of timber. Last weekend he relaid the patio stones and power-washed the outdoor furniture. His love language, Kate now understands, is to quietly assist behind the scenes. He’s been spending a lot of time at the Oakwood to be with Kate, but particularly since Audrey was declared palliative, alternating between talking to her in the hours she is awake and lucid, and keeping himself occupied with maintenance whilst she sleeps.
The sound of a bell tinkles from the floor below and Kate smiles. Audrey had resolutely refused either a mobile phone or the employment of a baby monitor to call Kate for whatever she might need. But she did allow a small brass bell, borrowed from the dormant reception desk in the foyer. “Far more dignified,” she’d said.
Good timing, Kate thinks. She gathers the pad with her notes about Friedrich and heads to Audrey’s room. Audrey is sitting up in bed, braided white hair falling over one bony shoulder.
“Heya,” Kate says, smiling even though every time she sees Audrey so wasted and tired, she just wants to cry. “What do you need?”
“Good afternoon, dear,” Audrey says before a coughing fit overtakes her. Kate refills her glass in the bathroom sink and Audrey sips it gratefully. “I would commit a moderate crime for some Marmite and egg on toast,” she says, a little raspy. “Heavy on the butter, too, hell, why not. And some coffee. I appear to have slept through breakfast.”
Kate returns fifteen minutes later with a tray, then settles herself at the end of the bed as Audrey starts to eat.
“So, you had asked me to learn whatever I could about what became of Friedrich,” Kate says.
Audrey’s chewing slows. She takes a deep breath and another sip of coffee. “What did you find out?”
Kate glances down at her notes. “After his arrest in ’45, there’s a gap in information, but we can assume he was sent to prison for a few years, because he was tried at Nuremberg along with the other general staff and high command of the German armed forces in March of 1948, after they did the initial round of trials for the primary leaders of the Reich. He was found guilty of conspiracy to commit war crimes and crimes against humanity. Generally aiding and abetting the Nazi regime.”
Audrey nods. “That’s unsurprising. Did he plead guilty or not?”
“He pled not guilty,” Kate says gently.
Audrey sighs. “Good. That’s good.”
“He received a life sentence and was sent to Spandau Prison in Berlin, along with a load of other convicted Nazi officials.” Kate pauses, her heart heavy. “He died there, in 1963. There’s one report that he was stabbed to death by another inmate, some kind of altercation. There isn’t much detail. I’m sorry, Audrey.”
Audrey sets aside her toast and egg. “Thank you for doing that, Kate.” Her eyes slide out of focus for a minute, and Kate waits for her to come back from where she’s drifted off to. “And what of the others?” she asks.
“There isn’t much,” Kate says, frowning. “I couldn’t find anything about Aldous Stoltz or Claus Von Holten. But Ludwig Thurman was also tried, in the same batch of trials at Nuremberg as Friedrich. He was found guilty, but there’s no other mention of him. I guess we can assume he was either pardoned at some point, or died in prison too.” Kate voices a train of thought that’s been dogging her. “If you don’t mind, Audrey, when I was trying to find all this, I found the website of a facility—sort of a museum—called the German Resistance Memorial Center. Have you heard of it?”
“No.”
Kate takes a deep breath. “They’ve compiled all the available information on the German people who tried to resist Hitler. Students, like that White Rose group you mentioned. Academics, activists. And some people in the Nazi ranks too.”
Audrey watches her silently.
“This place has memorialized these resisters for what they tried to accomplish, and I wondered… Do you have any interest in sending them your story? They don’t have anything about your cell in their archives.”
Audrey shrugs. “No, I wouldn’t imagine they do. There was no information to find on us, was there?”
Kate waits.
“I told you I thought it was time someone took responsibility for the deaths of those children in Hanover. Perhaps this is how I can do that.” Audrey licks her lips. “Do what you can, I suppose. Send my account to this museum. See what they say.”
“All right. I will.”
As Audrey finishes her breakfast, Kate can tell her mind is far from the Elder Room.
“Is Ian here today?” Audrey asks, dabbing her mouth with a napkin.
“Yeah. He’s doing the garden beds out back.”
“I’m so very glad the two of you found one another.”
Kate blushes a little, worried her grin is too much for the somber circumstances. “We only did because of you. We wouldn’t have, otherwise.”
Audrey squints at her, considering. “You found each other because of your parents, actually. In chasing them, you found him. Think of it that way.”
