She forced a smile. “Hi.”
“You’re home late,” Ilse said. “How was work?”
“I finally got asked to join Weber for drinks today. At The Adlon.”
“Well, he didn’t exactly take you to a dive, did he?” Friedrich said.
“Gerta and Ernst Roth were there, Friedrich.”
“Hitler’s driver.” His eyebrows raised. “That’s fantastic. Did you learn anything—”
“Not yet, no. But it sounds like they go out together regularly. It might lead somewhere. But look what I found on my way home,” she said, holding out the White Rose leaflet.
Friedrich passed Daniel to Ilse and took the crumpled page. “Where did you find this?” he asked, brow furrowed.
“Posted on the Brandenburg Gate.”
“Did anyone see—”
“No,” she said, a little irritated. “I was careful.”
His eyes were still on the leaflet.
“What is it?” Ilse asked.
“A leaflet from some student group at the University of Munich,” Audrey told her.
“The White Rose,” Friedrich said. “I have never heard of them. But if they aren’t careful, they’re going to get themselves killed. I will give this to Aldous.” He tapped the pamphlet against his palm. “See if he has any insights on what print shop it might have come from. Maybe we can trace them from there.”
“They’ll all be here in a while, Friedrich,” Audrey said. She felt a need to break up this little domestic scene.
“You’re right. This is just…” He grinned at Ilse and Daniel. “Far more joyous and hopeful than anything else we’re doing.”
“I’ll get him to bed soon,” Ilse said.
Friedrich nodded, brushed past Audrey on his way out of the room. Ilse kept her eyes on Daniel, who was reaching out to grasp his own toes, and Audrey lowered herself to the floor where Friedrich had sat.
During the past Red Orchestra meetings, Daniel had been asleep upstairs, watched over by Ilse, but Friedrich had already floated to Audrey that he was considering how they might suggest a change of location to one of the other members’ houses without drawing suspicion, as it was going to become increasingly difficult to conceal a child.
“You don’t like him spending time alone with me, do you?” Ilse asked, flicking her eyes over Audrey’s shoulder.
Audrey made a face. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t know. I suppose I miss you, that’s all. Daniel takes up all of your attention now. Work takes up mine. We’ve hardly had any time to speak, just the two of us, since Daniel came. And I guess…” She was unsure how to express why Friedrich enjoying time alone with Ilse irritated her.
“You’re jealous of Daniel?” Ilse asked.
“I didn’t say that.” Audrey exhaled an exasperated sigh. She was still on edge from the excursion with Weber and his friends, and the unpleasant encounter with Frau Richter, which she’d wanted to relay to Ilse. Her nerves were frayed, her patience at a premium.
Ilse shook her head. “You have your work. You get to leave the house every day and go try to accomplish something of value. Until Daniel came, I had nothing. Nothing to do but sit and remember when my father was shot and killed before my eyes, wonder what the hell might be happening to my mother and brother whilst I’m reasonably safe right here, and whether they’re ever going to come back. But Daniel has given me a purpose. A person to wake up for each morning and go to bed thinking about each night. Can you not understand that?”
At their raised voices, Daniel began to fuss in Ilse’s lap.
Audrey and Ilse rarely argued. She couldn’t even recall a time Ilse had spoken to her like this. She felt dizzy, as though the very foundation of her life was spinning. Tears pricked at her eyes.
“It’s not about Daniel! It’s that you seem to make time for Friedrich, but not for me.”
Ilse bounced Daniel on her knee. “I enjoy his company, Audrey, and he’s affectionate with Daniel. I’m allowed to be friends with him, you know. We—”
“I know. I know you are. All right?” She regretted saying anything at all. Regretted her own feelings. “It’s fine,” she said, her voice breaking. “Just leave it, Ilse.” Audrey stood, swiping at her cheeks.
“Audrey,” Ilse called after her. “Audrey, wait. Please.”
But Audrey was already racing down the staircase, pursued by the spectre she couldn’t seem to fight off, no matter how hard she tried.
Chapter 20
Audrey
BERLIN, GERMANY | MARCH 1939
Three weeks later, the cell arrived just after eight o’clock, bottles in hand, as usual. Audrey waited in the sitting room in her spot on the divan, inhaling the bitter richness of her after-dinner coffee whilst Friedrich answered the door.
Things had been tense with Ilse for a day or so after their argument, but had now, more or less, returned to normal. Ilse claimed she’d been tired from waking each night with Daniel, and Audrey wrote it off as a symptom of the absurd situation they all found themselves in. On a level, she agreed with Ilse that it was a good thing they each had a purpose beyond each other. Motherhood was what Ilse had always craved, but the way she and Friedrich were now interacting with one another was undeniably painful.
