“You have been slipping away from me for months,” continued Chiti. “And now this! You think this is a surprise? You have been sabotaging our relationship in slow motion for a year.”
“Please get out of the glass,” said Avery. “Please, Chiti.”
“Oh, now you care if I am hurt?” said Chiti. “Now?”
“Of course I care!” she shouted. “Your hurt hurts me! That’s marriage!”
Chiti stood still and stared at her. Her hair had freed itself from its topknot and now hung loose around her shoulders. Avery observed its swirls and coils, more familiar to her than her own at this point. She had the urge to reach out and touch it, to bury herself in that dark curtain like a child hiding in her mother’s skirt, but she knew there was nowhere to hide now.
“What do you want me to do?” Chiti asked, her voice shaking. “Do you want me to prove to you that you are unlovable? Undeserving of happiness because you were too wrapped up in your own life to save your sister’s? Because I won’t. I do love you. Your grief, your anger, your silence, your secret cigarettes, even your lies. All of you. It turns out it is unconditional this love I have for you.” She gave a shuddering inhale so sharp her nostrils blanched. “Though right now I dearly wish it wasn’t.”
With one light step, Chiti moved out of the shattered pile. They looked at each other in silent wonder, as though she had just vaulted a great distance to find herself standing before her.
“I’ll fetch the tweezers,” said Avery.
She returned from the bathroom with the first aid kit to find Chiti perched on the sofa. She took a seat beside her and motioned for Chiti to put her feet in her lap, then began inspecting her soles, plucking out slim splinters of pink and green glass as Chiti flinched. Chiti’s feet were a constant source of wonder and frustration for Avery. They were completely flat, with arches so collapsed that they made suction sounds on the wet bathroom floor as she padded across it, a fact that Avery had never ceased to find hilarious. When they walked side by side on sand they had often marveled at the difference in their footprints; Avery’s high arch gave her print the expected curve, while Chiti’s resembled more of a splat. Her toes, too, were long and dexterous; practically fingers, Chiti often remarked cheerfully. Since they frequently ached and Chiti refused to wear proper shoes, they were also the reason the two of them were constantly taking cabs instead of walking, which Avery considered a waste of both money and the opportunity to get their step count up. Despite this, Avery had always thought Chiti’s feet one of the loveliest parts of her. They were slim and long as silverside fish; holding them now, Avery felt as though she had plucked them from the water herself, these dancing, alive things caught in her hapless clasp. Angling the tweezers, she tugged the last sliver of glass free, stopping the ribbon of blood with a cotton ball. She held it fast to Chiti’s foot and glanced at her face.
“Hurts?”
Chiti gave a grim smile.
“I’ll survive. It was a silly thing to do.”
Avery met her gaze.
“I’ve done worse.”
Chiti narrowed her eyes.
“I know.”
Now, Avery flinched. Suddenly, Chiti laughed.
“This is our worst fight ever, no?” she asked, incredulous.
Avery nodded, smiling timidly.
“Even worse than that New Year’s we both got food poisoning because I made us order the seafood tower,” she said.
Chiti released a short laugh again and stood up, hobbling on her sliced feet. She rubbed her eyes and sighed.
“I hate this, darling. I’m not cut out for histrionics. I just want to call it a night and go to bed. I know we can’t, but…can we?”
Avery looked up into Chiti’s open face. She took her hand and, somehow, they stumbled to their bedroom together. They lay on top of the bed without getting under the covers, clinging to each other, sleeping the whole night like that, knotted together, and Avery had dared to hope that, perhaps, the worst was over. Then the next morning, Chiti moved her things to the guest bedroom and a silence descended on the house that did not lift until, a week later, Avery fled to New York.
—
“What are you doing here?” asked Lucky.
Her tone registered more suspicion than surprise. Avery winced, just slightly. The three of them were standing in the kitchen, Bonnie and Lucky both looking flushed and streaming sweat under their workout clothes. Avery frowned. In what world did Lucky exercise?
“Wow, it’s good to finally see you too,” she said.
“You, like, just saw me,” said Lucky, an edge of hostility creeping into her voice.
“I meant all together.”
Lucky was clearly still mad at her for not taking her to the airport. Avery had told herself it was because she had too much work, which was partially true, but she knew it was really because she couldn’t stand a long car ride alone with her sister after what she had just done with Charlie. She had been on such a high horse about Lucky’s behavior, now look at her. Chiti had asked for no contact while Avery was away, ostensibly so she could think about what she wanted to do next and if that involved Avery. Now, Avery watched Bonnie shoot Lucky a look that communicated something like be nice, and the intimacy it contained bothered her immediately. Bonnie had always been her ally in the family. Now, without even Chiti, she had no one.
“Obviously it’s good to see you, Aves,” Bonnie said. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?”
“I wanted to surprise you! I did, didn’t I?”
Her voice sounded unnaturally high and grating, even to herself. Avery cleared her throat.
“It’s amazing,” said Bonnie. “The gang’s back together! Well—” She looked at each of them with a sudden sadness. “You know what I mean.”
“So, what’s the plan?” Lucky asked, turning to the sink to fill a glass of water without looking at Avery. “How long are you here for?”
“However long it takes to go through Nicky’s stuff,” said Avery.
Bonnie knit her brow with concern.
“But I thought you said you weren’t coming?” she asked.
“And we don’t need your help,” added Lucky.
“Guys!” Avery slapped her palm on the counter. “Is it that weird that I would want to come home and see my sisters together for the first time in forever?”
