Bob had been about to go out the door to see Jim at Susan’s house in Shirley Falls, but now he sat down in the chair in the living room he usually sat in, and he listened to Pam and thought about this. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “But I think this happens.”
Pam said, “Oh, it does. I just wish it hadn’t happened to me.”
“What triggered it?” Bob asked.
“That’s just it. Lydia? Christ, what a mess I just went through for that piece of shit, Jesus.”
“Don’t you have a sponsor you call when that starts to happen?” Bob asked.
“Yes. The most wonderful sponsor. But I didn’t call her because I wanted to get drunk. I make myself sick.”
“Did you tell your sponsor?”
“Oh yeah,” Pam said. “Right away this morning. And she was good about it. Kept asking me what had happened, and I just don’t know. I mean, Lydia of course, but my God.”
Bob said, “That’s scary. I mean that you don’t know exactly why you did it.”
“Precisely!” Pam said, “Bob, that scares the shit out of me. Because it could just keep on happening.”
Bob was quiet for a moment, and then he said, “I don’t think it will keep on happening, Pam. I think you can do this. Frankly, I know you can.”
“Seriously, Bobby? You think I can do it?”
“Completely serious. You can and you will.”
“Thank you, Bobby.” She said it quietly. Then she said, “I’m going to move out of this place. I hate it here, especially after what just happened. I’m going to get my own place.”
“You should. You absolutely should. Get yourself a nice small apartment, Pam. That makes sense.”
She said, “I know. I don’t know why I’ve stayed here.”
Bob said, “Because it’s your home. But now it’s time to get a new home.”
“Thank you. I appreciate everything you said. And I’m thinking of leaving the pee stain right there on the couch. Now, what’s new with you?”
And Bob, glancing around his living room, the old white sofa that was not as white as it had once been, and the coffee table piled with books and phone chargers and pens, told Pam that Jimmy was up in Maine for a week and that he—Bob—had taken a case that was making him crazy. He even told her about Margaret and the church board, which now included Avery Mason, who slept through each service, and how this caused an uneasiness for Margaret. Margaret had mentioned it again the night before: that Avery Mason had managed to get himself on the board.
“Oh man. That sucks,” Pam said.
He told her once more that he believed in her, and she thanked him. “That really helps,” she said. She added, “Say hi to Jim for me. And to Susie too. Tell her I miss her. It was so good to see her a few months ago.”
*
When Bob walked into Susan’s house his heart positively overflowed at the sight of his brother sitting in the living room easy chair. Jim raised his hand in a hello. Susan was walking between the kitchen and the living room, bringing Jim a cup of coffee. “Thank you, Susie,” Jim said, and Susan raised her eyes at Bob to indicate (this is what Bob thought): Look at how polite he is.
And he was polite. It unnerved both Susan and Bob that their brother could be this considerate; Jim asked Susan many questions about what it had been like to recently retire from her work as an optometrist, to which she answered: “Pretty much great. Not lonely like I worried I would be.” And then Jim said, “What about Gerry O’Hare?”
Susan, who had sat down on the couch, looked immediately at Bob, and then back to Jim. “What about him?” she asked.
“Well, you said you saw him on his porch for coffee a few times a week. I just wondered how that was going,” Jim said.
Susan raised a hand just slightly, and then let it fall back into her lap. “Fine.”
“You like him?”
“I do.”
“He ever mention the fact that he dumped you in high school after two dates?”
Susan laughed easily. “Three dates. No, he has never mentioned that, and neither have I.”
“You ever see each other for dinner, or anything?”
“No.” Susan seemed vaguely confused by the question.
“Why not? Is he seeing some other woman?”
“No.” And then Susan’s face had a blush come over it. “At least I don’t think so.”
“Well, just ask him.”
“Ask him?”
“Ask him, Susie. Just say, Gerry, is there any woman you’re seeing? And if he says no, then invite him over for dinner. Seriously. Just do it.”
Susan stayed quiet, apparently thinking about this. After a moment she looked over at Bob and said, “Bobby, when Bitch Ball disappeared, Gerry mentioned to me that Matt was sort of known in town as a perv. That’s what he said. And I should have told you that, I just kept forgetting.”
“A perv?” Bob felt a sweat break through under his arms.
