“So who can do it? Unless they’re all on Mrs. Withers’ payroll and none of them will come near me without fear of retribution,” I added dryly.
Chief chuckled. “It’s not as bad as all that. I’ll send you a couple of names when I get to the station.” He paused. “By the way, I heard of a teaching position that’s opening up.”
I stiffened.
He continued, even though he had to have seen how the blood had drained from my face. “Over at the middle school you worked at. I’m sure they’d love to have you back. Not too many young teachers flocking to the town these days.”
“I, no,” I choked. “Where Jason died? No.”
“Chief,” Aaron said, a warning in his voice.
“Understood,” Chief said softly, holding his hands up.
That was it. I was done. Today was done.
I tried to steady my breathing, feeling as though I was clawing to the side of a mountain. This was too fast. All of it was, and I needed everything to stop.
I needed time to think.
“I’m tired.”
The men turned to me with twin questioning looks, and I repeated myself. “Thank you, Chief, for everything, and Aaron, I’ll call you later, but right now, I need...I don’t know, a nap or something. Please.” I walked them both to the door, waving off Chief’s apologies.
After Chief left, Aaron paused in the doorway. “Devon,” he said softly. He brought his hands to my face and tilted it up, forcing me to look at him. They were sweet and understanding, but there was something else in there. Fear.
My gut twisted. I’d put that there. I leaned into his hand, closing my eyes and taking a minute to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meeting his gaze. “This isn’t you, I promise it’s not you. I will be okay. We’re okay.”
His lips twitched up in the barest of smiles. “Okay.”
I gripped his waist. “I’m here.”
“You are,” he said, but he sounded uncertain.
“I am,” I repeated firmly. I didn’t know if I meant for now, or for a while, or forever. I also wasn’t sure who I meant the statement for most: me or him. “I just need some time. We’ve been all up in each other all week, except for your shifts, and I think I need…time. To think.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. I lost myself to the embrace, putting everything into it that I didn’t have the words for. That I cared so much for him. That I thought I loved him. That the idea of a job—a permanent job—apparently scared the crap out of me.
That I had no idea how to do this.
22
AARON
A BIRTHDAY PARTY for four-year-old twins is not for the faint of heart. I stood in the backyard of Rick and Ceci’s house, a koozied beer in hand, and tried to remember my own birthday parties. They were pretty standard: some friends, some cake, maybe some games of one kind or another.
They did not consist of a blow-up water slide, a bounce house, a make-your-own cupcake station, and face painting with upwards of fifteen over-sugared kids running around. Which is exactly what I found myself gawking at. Rick sidled up to where I stood at the edge of the madness, and I clinked my beer to his. “Best of luck, man.”
He laughed, a good-natured grimace on his face. “I know. If this is four, please sedate me for ages thirteen and up.”
“Seriously, how do you do it?”
He glanced at me, his eyes remarkably cheery under his baseball cap. “Aw, I love those little hellions. Wouldn’t trade them for the world. And Ceese makes it all worth it. Every day of the week.”
I followed his love-stricken glance over to where Ceci stood with a bunch of parents from the pre-school the twins attended. “Fair enough.”
“You want kids?” he asked.
“You making conversation or you asking as Devon’s brother?”
He chuckled and took a sip of beer. “Friendly conversation. I know better than to try and get in Devon’s business.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “You’re a smart man.”
He tipped his beer at me in response.
I answered. “Honestly? Kids are great, as long as they’re someone else’s.”
Now it was his turn to arch an eyebrow. “Does Devon know that?”
I looked at him. “I thought you were staying out of her business.”
He shrugged and grinned. “I lied.”
I chuckled. I could see why Devon thought so highly of him. He made it clear he loved his family with everything he had. And that occasionally meant giving me shit like any big brother would.
