“Be quiet! I’m not listening to you unless you turn around and say it to my face.”
“I can’t.” The words seemed to be extruded through his gritted teeth.
“You mean, you won’t.”
His shoulders drooped. “I guess it doesn’t matter. We can’t really be married, anyway. I couldn’t hide it from you forever.”
He rotated slowly until his face was visible. Something was strange about his eyes. Not as full as before. They looked white, instead of blue.
“You see, now.” His face twisted in agony. “This is the real me. Even scarier than the prosthetic eyes.”
The lightbulb finally switched on in her hazy brain. “Is that what this is all about? You thought I’d be freaked out by your ocular implants?”
“You aren’t?” The fragile uncertainty in his voice brought tears to her eyes.
“Of course not.” She swiped her face on her sleeve. “I know what they look like. Googled it two years ago, the day I met you.”
“They don’t bother you at all?” His lips stretched in a rapturous smile, flashing his even white teeth.
“Nope.”
“And you love me?” His voice became gravelly, and he leaned closer.
“Yes, I do.” She put a hand to his face to stop his progress. “But we can’t kiss again.”
He frowned. “Why not? We love each other. We’re married. Why can’t we kiss?”
“Have you forgotten about Carina?”
“No, but I’d like to.” He straightened, pushing his fingers through his hair, sending it in crazy directions. “I can’t live like this. The moment we start to make progress, you jerk the rug out from under us.”
“I beg your pardon,” she spat. “It’s not my fault Carina is in the middle of all this. That’s one hundred percent on you.”
He twisted to face her, his eyes closed and his hands folded, as if in prayer. “Just say the word, and I’ll tell Carina we’re married. I’ll pay my child support and stay out of her life. Let her have full custody.” He found one of Steph’s hands and turned it over to press a kiss against her palm, making rows of goosebumps on her arm. “We’ll start now and build a life together—you, me and Ellie. What do you say?”
He laid out her dream on a silver platter, as enticing as his ripped physique. She wanted it. She wanted it so badly she could barely breathe. Her eyes filled with tears, even before she choked out her answer. The word ripped from her raw throat, a bare whisper that echoed for eternity.
“No.”
A tear leaked from the corner of his eye and rolled down his cheek.
“Please.”
“We can’t, Bran.” Each word cut her like a knife. Her lifeblood ebbed away. “You’d be miserable. Not at first, but eventually you’d regret it. You’ve spent your whole life trying to be a better man than your father. That means being present in your child’s life.”
He turned away, his throat convulsing. “How long, then? How long before we can be together?”
“It doesn’t work that way.” She steadied her quavering voice. “You need to work out things between you and Carina. You’re going to be a father, and that’s the most important thing. I think it’s best if I leave. I’d only be a distraction.”
“No.” He groped to find her hand and clasped it tightly. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I have to, Bran. How could I bear being here if you and Carina are together? I could hardly stand watching the two of you this weekend. When I saw you coming out of her room, I felt like I’d been stabbed.”
“I’m so sorry.” Bran clenched his eyes shut, rubbing his temples. “Nothing happened—I promise. I didn’t sleep with her.”
“You obviously slept with her at least once.”
Bran’s silence spoke volumes. When he finally answered, he seemed resigned. “Yes, it happened one time. I won’t lie, and I won’t make excuses. I made a poor decision in the heat of the moment.”
Steph’s heart clenched. Though she already knew the truth, it hurt to hear it confirmed. But she’d already forgiven him. How could she not? She’d made plenty of regretful choices in her life. She had no room to judge.
“Can I kiss you?” Bran’s tone was hoarse. Strained. “One last time?”
“I don’t know…”
Those three words obviously translated to yes in whatever world Branson lived, because his hands slid behind her head, fingers tangling in her hair as his mouth descended. His lips brushed across her lips. Soft as a feather. Then harder. Demanding. Her hands flattened on the hard planes of his chest. Short of breath, she felt lightheaded, like she was in a dream. The gentle caress of his lips made her ache for what could have been. She trembled as his fingers trailed down her neck, leaving a fiery brand in their wake. He followed with his mouth, pressing a kiss into the hollow of her neck until lights flashed under her eyelids. As his mouth found hers again, she tasted the salt of their mingled tears, and she hugged him close, as if she could make the moment last through eternity.
But it didn’t.
Tearing herself away left a gaping hole in her chest—forever empty—the place where her heart used to be.
CHAPTER 21
“I’ve looked at it from every angle, Mr. Knight. I still believe a marriage would be the best way to assert your parental rights.”
Bran massaged his temples, hoping to rub away the headache that ibuprofen hadn’t diminished. I need a workout. He’d been back home since Sunday and hadn’t worked out the last three mornings. Though still a bit weak after his bout with the short-term virus, he knew that wasn’t the main issue. His life was completely off-kilter without Stephanie as his personal assistant. He forced down a sip of his now-tepid coffee.
