He blinked.
“Of course not. You set your goals way beyond what anyone could’ve expected. And then you surpassed them. All four of you did that. So why, all the sudden, when it comes to your life span, have you decided you can’t surpass the average? Huh? Answer me that?”
She raised her voice louder than she should’ve, and he answered in the same tone, “I’ll tell you why! Because I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.” His shoulders sagged and his voice dropped. “I don’t want to let people down...”
“Well, right now, that’s exactly what you’re doing—letting me down—going on this stupid suicide plane trip.” She held on to the edge of her desk to steady herself as the room spun.
“It’s only a little risky.” His dimples flashed again. “I don’t really intend to die, you know.”
Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, holding her breath in a vain attempt to slow her racing heart.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
“Send me your ticket details, so I can get on the same flight.” As her rubbery legs gave way, she sank into her chair. “Somebody has to take care of you, since you’re obviously not going to.”
CHAPTER 14
Saturday morning arrived despite Laurie’s prayers, dashing her hopes that the world would end so she wouldn’t have to get on a plane. Other than the absolute inability to keep anything in her stomach, she was doing better than expected. Luckily, she hadn’t even bothered with breakfast, so her rather frequent trips to the airport terminal bathroom resulted only in dry heaves. She wondered whether either of the sedatives she took stayed in her stomach long enough to have an effect. With her pulse racing about a hundred miles an hour, her best guess would be no.
But watching after Finn was turning out to be a full-time job and a terrific distraction. Though Cole might be the most recognizable face of Phantom Enterprises, Finn was a close second. Each time someone approached to ask for his autograph, he would pull his mask off his face in order to talk. Laurie always intervened, explaining that Finn needed the protection of his mask and a safe distance from any possible germs. But Finn often countermanded her orders, laughing off her protective measures. This didn’t set well with Laurie.
He agreed to wear disposable gloves and allowed her to disinfect all the surfaces he might touch while in the seating area. But he drew the line when she wanted him to use the family bathroom so she could disinfect everything before he went in. Only when he promised to wash his hands for five minutes with soap and water and follow up with hand sanitizer did she allow him to go inside the men’s room by himself.
Fussing over Finn’s safety distracted her from the terror lurking in her mind. Perhaps she could convert her strong attraction for him into a more motherly feeling. Fat chance!
As long as she fussed and fumed, she kept her fear at bay. But when Finn was finally sitting quietly in his seat, reading a book, with his navy-blue Cambridge mask properly protecting his nose and mouth, the reality of her situation folded over her like an avalanche of snow. In a few minutes, they would be asked to board the plane, and she still wasn’t certain she could actually do it.
With her blood pulsing in her ears, she had no idea what Finn was saying. His brows furrowed deeper, and he finally pulled his mask down to expose his lips. “Are you okay?”
“Sure. I’m fine.” Her voice sounded like she was standing inside a tunnel. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Her statement was certainly true. She’d barely slept the last three nights since she’d made the airline reservation. Stephanie, true friend that she was, had researched online, exploring every possible method for dealing with aviophobia. Besides the prescription sedative, which was worthless when it didn’t remain in one’s stomach, they had settled on breathing exercises as being the most effective treatment. However, at the moment Laurie had forgotten to breathe slowly and found herself, instead, panting for air that seemed thinner by the second.
Hold your breath. She remembered Stephanie’s warning. When you start to panic, hold your breath.
She stuck her purse on the floor between her legs, sucked in a huge breath and bent over, pretending to search inside. When she couldn’t hold it any longer, she took another breath. Repeating the process, her dizziness finally subsided. When she straightened, she found Finn’s piercing blue eyes fixed on her, with obvious curiosity.
“Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Uhm… no. Guess I forgot to pack it.”
“What did you need? Maybe I have it. A pen? A protein bar?”
“It was… I was looking for… lip balm.”
“I have some.” His eyes lit up, obviously delighted to be helpful. When she started to object because of contamination, he pushed it into her hand. “You can have this one. I can always get another one later.”
Her relief that he bought her story far outweighed her guilt at the lie. She was way too embarrassed about her phobia to ever admit it to Finn. After all, she knew the statistics that verified flying to be the safest means of travel. Yet, data and common sense did nothing to calm the terror building in her head. If she could make it onto the plane, she could sit and quietly breathe into her paper bag. Finn hadn’t discovered until check-in that she’d booked herself a seat in the economy section rather than next to him in first class. Once the curtain was closed, he would never know she was panicking in the rear, as long as she kept it quiet.
Meanwhile, she needed to keep her mind occupied. She saw a few people sneaking selfies with Finn in the background, to which she didn’t object, since it kept their germy air at a distance. Finn noticed the efforts of one teen boy, and pulled his mask down for the photo, giving him a smile and a wave. Ecstatic, the boy was shouting as he ran back to his family.
When the pre-boarding was announced, her heart went into overdrive. Her muscles were coiled tight, ready to bolt to safety and let Finn continue on his own. But when he stood and gathered his bags, she remembered she had to carry one of his suitcases. As all of his meds and equipment had to be in carryon luggage, he had more than he could handle alone. Concentrating on her purpose, she told herself she could always get him settled on board and escape before the plane took off.
She was surprised how well the gangplank disguised the plane until she actually reached the doorway. She took a deep breath and stepped through, pretending she was inside a bus, rather than a flying deathtrap. Heading straight to Finn’s seat, she doused it with antiseptic spray. In addition, she wiped down the back of the seat in front of him, the tray table, the window, and the adjacent seat.
“Don’t touch anything.” She ordered as he moved to sit down, his crinkled eyes a testimony to the grin he sported under his mask. She continued, “Keep your face covered. Change your gloves if you touch anything. If someone close to you is sick, ask to move.”
“Yes, I know. I’ll be fine.” His brows furrowed. “There was an empty seat beside me. You should’ve let me upgrade your ticket, and we wouldn’t have to worry if someone was sick.”
“The whole reason we’re doing this is to save money for the kids, right? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose?”
“It’s too late now, but I’d prefer to have you beside me on the way home. I’ll pay for it out of my personal funds.”
She barely heard him, because the sides of the plane were beginning to narrow. She forgot all about hiding her phobia, her only thought to escape while she could. She started back toward the door, but the flight attendant, a kind-faced woman who looked to be in her forties, stopped her.
“Ma’am. I’m sorry, but once you’ve boarded, you can’t get off.”
“I… uh… got lost.”
The woman’s face grew dark around the edges, and Laurie grabbed the wall for balance.
“Let me see your ticket.” She snatched it from Laurie’s slack fingers. “Seat twenty-four A. I’ll help you find it.”
Gentle pressure on her shoulders turned her body and moved her down the aisle. Soon she was sitting, though barely aware of her surroundings.
“Do you feel okay?” the flight attendant asked. “If you’re going to throw up, there’s a bag in the seatback in front of you.”
