“It is what I wanted. It’s what I told him to do. I just didn’t expect… I don’t know…” She hadn’t expected it to hurt so much.
Kara took a swallow from her water glass, sat back against her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. “This is what happens when you make a decision without engaging your brain.”
“I did engage my brain. I thought about this for two weeks before I decided to break up.” Ellery knew she’d done the right thing, but she hadn’t convinced Kara.
“I still say it’s pretty stupid to take Chester’s advice and not even ask my opinion.” She stuffed the last bite of her sandwich in her mouth, chomping with such angry vigor Ellery wondered if her roommate were pretending to chew her to pieces.
“Because I already knew what you would say.” Ellery tried to explain one more time. “I wasn’t following Chester’s advice. In fact, he wanted me to drop out of Logan’s life completely, but I refused. He even hinted at the scholarship again.”
“That alone should tell you not to trust anything he said.”
“I don’t. But he sent screenshots of his conversation with Allegra. She really did move back to Austin, hoping to reconnect with Logan.”
“Encouraging Logan to go out with her is like throwing him back in the lion’s den.”
“You weren’t there when he was interacting with his stepdad. Logan’s changed. He knows not to take anything Chester says at face value.”
“But they’re all awful! And Logan was glad to have escaped. Why does he have to go back to her to prove he wants to be with you?”
Ellery sighed, massaging her temples to soothe the pounding in her skull. “Here’s the thing… I’ve watched Logan make snap decisions way too many times. If he chooses me—knowing he could have Allegra, knowing he could have back the life he lost—then I won’t constantly worry he’s going to change his mind.”
“I get it. I know it’s hard for you to trust. And Logan’s impulsiveness makes it even harder.” Kara’s tone was softer, worry marring her brow. “What if he wants to be with you, but he gives up? What if his pride is too hurt to come back? What if he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with you? That you’ll turn him down again?”
The thought flowed into Ellery’s blood vessels like ice water. “We’ve been together for months. He knows how much I care. I even told him so when we broke up.”
“Probably the same thing Allegra said when she rejected him.”
The conversation wasn’t improving Ellery’s nausea. Her goal had been to give Logan the freedom to make a real choice. What if she’d driven him away permanently instead?
“Then I’ll just have to pray that doesn’t happen.” She blinked back tears, wondering how she could possibly have any left. “Even if I wanted to go back to how we were, it’s too late.”
“I’m sorry, Ellery.” Kara’s eyes glistened like hers. “Let’s go out tonight. I’ll take you to dinner and we’ll talk about something besides Logan. Wallowing around in this apartment isn’t going to help anything.”
“You’re right.”
Maybe she really had made the biggest mistake of her life, but worrying about it wouldn’t change the outcome.
“I’m glad you’re getting out of the apartment,” Kara said as she led the way to the entrance of Signs, a trendy Austin bar and grill whose walls were covered with its namesake.
Ellery was surprised to realize she wasn’t as uncomfortable about people’s stares as she used to be. Being with Logan had definitely given her more self-confidence. She could only hope she’d done the same for Logan. Funny how her first impression of the man had been his arrogance. Now she knew his haughty façade had only been a curtain for his insecurity.
“Stop thinking about Logan,” Kara demanded, raising her voice to be heard over the music and talking. “Tonight’s about forgetting your worries for a few hours and enjoying yourself.”
“I’m trying.” Ellery gave her a grateful smile. “This place is really hopping. I’m glad you snagged a reservation.”
Soon they were seated and quickly ordered from the tapas menu.
Kara waved at someone across the room. “Hey, there’re some people from my class. Will you be okay if I run over there for a minute?”
“Go for it.” Ellery took a sip of water, studying the couple in a nearby booth. She tried to guess their story. Early twenties. Laughing awkwardly. Probably a college couple on a first or second date.
The game had been a favorite when she and Logan had gone out together. Playing alone wasn’t nearly as fun.
I have to stop thinking about him.
A tap on her shoulder made her jump, almost spilling her water.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Josiah! Did that mean Logan was here, too? She craned her neck, peering around the restaurant.
“He’s not here.” Josiah answered her silent question as he slid onto a stool beside her, bending his head close to be heard. “But I’m glad I ran into you.”
“Why? Did something happen to Logan?” She felt her heart tapping against her chest.
“This has nothing to do with Logan,” Josiah said. “I’ve wanted to ask you this since the day we met… Would you consider joining Remarkable Models? I think you’d be fantastic.”
“I know you can’t be serious.” She pointed to her face. “You can’t cover this up with makeup.”
“I wouldn’t dare!” He almost looked affronted. “My agency is built around the concept that models are more interesting if they aren’t society’s warped version of perfect.”
“I thought that meant some of your models were heavier than usual.”
“It’s more than that.” He gestured with excitement. “Yes, Remarkable has all body types, but our most popular models have outstanding features—flaws, so to speak. Gretta was my first recruit. She had this wild frizzy hair she could never tame. We highlighted it, fluffed it out like a lion’s mane, and folks went wild for her.”
“And you think people would like my scar?”
