Her hands came up to cover her face, absorbing whatever mumbled reply she made.
“But I don’t think you’re awkward. More like... unguarded.”
“Another word for rash, right?” She groaned. “It’s the story of my life. My mouth works faster than my brain. Bran is going to think I’m an idiot.”
“Just tell him you’re working with a Limitless grant. You’ll be in like flint. I already got permission to bring you. It’s not like you’re going to get turned away at the door.”
“I hope not.”
“I’ll warn you that sometimes Bran comes across grouchy, but he’s about the nicest guy I know.”
“Got it. Grouchy outside. Nice inside.”
“Oh, and you need to be prepared for when he looks at you.”
“When he looks at me? Didn’t you say he was blind?”
“He’s completely blind. He turns his head and moves his prosthetic eyes so it looks like they are focused on yours. It’s really disconcerting if you aren’t prepared for it.”
“How does he move his eyes if they aren’t real?”
“The surgeons attach the muscles to an ocular implant, and the prosthetic eye fits over it. He doesn’t have the full range of motion, but he can move them. For some reason, he’s obsessed with not appearing to be blind. I think it’s because of his father. He’s got a jerk dad like mine; can’t stand that his son isn’t perfect.”
“I’m sure your dad loves you, though. I imagine he’s just disappointed for you.”
“Ha! He’s not disappointed for me; he’s disappointed in me.”
“He is?” Her voice cracked. “That’s terrible! I’m so sorry. You’ve had to put up with a lot of stuff for a long time.”
Carly had to be the most empathetic person he’d ever met. She acted as if his happiness or lack of it was her responsibility. Oddly, it made him feel like he needed to protect her. To shield that soft heart of hers.
“Don’t worry. I know now that I don’t need Dad’s approval. And anyway, it’s not like it’s your fault.”
“Liam... I need to tell you something...” Her voice choked with emotion. Maybe since he’d been so transparent, she was about to open up to him.
“I’m listening.”
“I...” She took a shuddery breath. “Earlier, on the plane... you said you’d forgiven yourself. How did you do that?”
His old guilt came rushing back. The night of the accident, Ben hadn’t been keen on going to the party. Liam had been the one who’d persuaded Ben to go. His best friend had lost his life because of him. Ultimately, he’d decided his paralysis was just punishment for killing his best friend.
“I haven’t absolved myself of responsibility. But it helps to recognize that I wasn’t the only one at fault and shift away some of my anger. I’ve made peace with God about it. Other than that, I’ve just learned to move on and play with the hand I’ve been dealt.”
“Me, too,” she rasped.
“What hand have you been dealt?”
“Nothing I don’t deserve.” She went quiet again. He waited, but she didn’t seem inclined to explain.
“Would you feel better if you talked about it? Whatever you’ve done, it can’t be any worse than a drunken accident that ended up with me paralyzed and my best friend dead.”
A sob escaped as she turned her face away.
In the pit of his stomach, a garbage disposal churned. He wished his words back. She was probably disgusted with him now, hearing he’d been responsible for his friend’s death. “To be clear... I wasn’t the one driving.”
Forgive me, Ben. She doesn’t know you. And I’ll tell her the whole truth, eventually.
“I can’t talk about this,” she rasped. “I’m sorry.”
His story had upset her even more.
“I’m the one who’s sorry. I was supposed to be listening to you, and instead I blabbed details about something that’s ancient history.” If only he could reach out and put a comforting hand on her arm. But he needed it to drive. “I just wanted you to know I wouldn’t judge you. But I’ll shut my trap so you can tell me what’s eating you up inside.”
“It’s no big deal. I don’t need to talk about it.” She sniffed. “And I apologize for the tears. I’m one of those people who cries at the drop of a hat.”
“Really? You told me earlier that you hardly ever cry.”
“I did? I mean... I don’t usually cry... unless someone drops a hat. Which obviously happened just now... uhm... somewhere in the world.”
He was starting to recognize her change-the-subject maneuver and decided to show some grace. Whatever was bothering her, she wasn’t ready to share.
“Must be bad when it’s really windy.”
“Huh?”
“Wind gusts. People dropping hats, right and left.”
“Oh yes. I’m especially weepy when there’s a heavy wind. During the last hurricane, my tissue purchases alone sent the stock prices soaring on Kleenex.”
