He shakes his head again. I think. I can hardly see him now. “You live for both of us. That will be enough.”
I can’t see him anymore.
“Eighty years, Lyra-Loo-Hoo.” His voice whispers around me. “I’ll be counting down the days.”
And then he’s gone. I feel it when he goes.
I clamp my free hand over my mouth, holding back the sobs that want to break free.
Hades nods at someone, and for the first time, I realize there’s another man in here, one I’ve never met. He inserts a needle into my IV line and depresses the plunger. Immediately, warmth hits my blood, working its way up my arm to my chest, then to the rest of me.
I turn my head, staring at Hades, even as my eyelids grow heavier.
“Why?” I whisper.
His face twists. “Maybe now you’ll let yourself sleep and heal…and fight.”
For me. He brought Boone here for me.
“Thank…” I’m not sure I get to “you” before I’m out again.
The nightmares don’t come anymore now. It’s more like I’m trapped in my own body, drowning in heat and pain. Every so often, I manage to swim back up to the top for a breath. Whatever they’re trying, it’s not working. I’m not getting better.
But I’m holding on now, at least.
Hades’ voice is my anchor.
His touch. Even when I’m deep under, I can feel him here. When I’m closer to the surface, he’s never far away.
One of the times I manage to swim up and open my eyes, he’s arguing with someone. Charon, I think, though the other person is standing backlit in a doorway. Another time, he’s asleep sitting in a chair, head lolled back. He looks awful. Exhausted, with purple bags under his eyes. I didn’t know gods could exhaust themselves. I reach toward him, but I’m already sinking again.
80
The Only Voice I Hear
Sensation flushes through me in the dark and pulls at my consciousness.
“What…” I hear myself from far away.
Like a cool breeze off the bay after a hot summer day, the sensation moves through me again. Breaking through the heat of the fever. Not eradicating it. But this is the first hint of relief I’ve felt since I’ve been trapped in my own body.
Worry wriggles through the relief like a worm. And I think I frown, because why would I worry? This is…relief.
“Is it working?” Hades’ voice comes from a long way off.
Is what working? Are they trying another medicine? Another treatment? “Not the ice bath again.” I try to say the words, but my lips won’t move.
That was agony. Fire and freezing at the same time.
Another flush of cool, like the relief is inside me. In my veins.
Then another, but this is more like a wave moving through me, and I sigh my relief. Audibly. I know because it’s loud in my head.
And yet a dark emotion coils in my stomach. Doubt? Dread? Hope?
I don’t think I’m the one feeling those things.
“I think it’s working,” someone says. They’re closer now.
Or I’m closer to consciousness. The lessening heat and pain is buoying me up to the top. Please don’t let this stop.
“Lyra?” Urgency lines Hades’ voice.
I want to answer him, tell him I’m okay. More than okay, but I’m still having trouble making my mouth and eyes work.
“What’s wrong? Is it killing her?” The panic in his voice would be adorable if it didn’t seem to be wrapping around my heart and squeezing hard. Like his panic is feeding into me.
I try to reach for him, for his hand, but I can’t move yet. The sick exhaustion is still trying to drown me.
Another wave of that blessed cool.
I manage to make my mouth work. “Hades.”
“I’m here.” His voice sounds…tortured. “I’m here, Lyra.”
