“Why is the owner of the record store giving our children weapons?”
“Because he’s not very good at cards,” Arthur explained. “He should really practice more before making bets against others. Lucy, it’s your turn.”
Lucy sighed dramatically before scooping up his bag. Without looking away from Linus, he tipped the bag over, spilling out its contents. A small ax. An aerosol spray can with what appeared to be a lighter attached in front of the nozzle. A throwing star. A garrote. Last but certainly not least, three red tubes with black wicks sticking out the top.
“Is that dynamite?” Arthur asked.
Lucy lit up. “I’m so glad you asked! It is dynamite. I was saving it for something special, like when we need to get rid of a body but then Talia hurts her hand and can’t dig a grave so I suggest blowing it up instead and everyone agrees and then I get to light the dynamite and run and voilà! No more body to worry about.”
“Wow,” Talia said. “That was impressive. I’m on Team Lucy.”
“Me too,” David said.
“And me!” Chauncey said, jumping up and down. “I want to blow up someone’s body!”
“I bet it’ll rain organs,” Phee said. “Cloudy with a chance of lungs.”
“See?” Lucy asked, a picture of perfect innocence. “It’s not just me.”
“Be that as it may,” Arthur said, “we aren’t going to be blowing up anyone.”
“Thank you, Arthur,” Linus said, frowning down at Lucy.
“At least not until the inspector has left,” Arthur continued. “I don’t think I need to impress on any of you how serious this is. As unfair as it can seem, our future rests in the hands of whoever DICOMY will be sending. I expect each of you to be on your best behavior. Lucy, that includes you.”
“Why does it sound like you trust the process?” Sal asked.
Arthur blinked in surprise. “Explain, if you please.”
Sal shrugged awkwardly, and Theodore muttered in his ear. Sal nodded along with whatever Theodore was saying. By the time the wyvern finished, Sal looked determined. “You’re making it seem like we have to bend over backwards for DICOMY. That if we try hard enough, they’ll believe us when we say this place is safe and where we want to be.”
“Why wouldn’t that be the case?” Linus asked.
“Why should we do anything for them?” Sal asked. “If they’re so worried about what we’re capable of, shouldn’t they bend over backwards for us? Why is it on our shoulders to prove anything? We’re kids.”
“You are,” Arthur agreed. He looked at each of the children in turn. “I wish I had a better answer. If I could shield you from this, I would.”
“But since he can’t,” Linus said, “it’s up to us. We’ll show DICOMY they picked the wrong family to trifle with. If push comes to shove, they won’t know what hit them.” He bent over, scooping up a stick of dynamite, gripping it tightly. “Trust me on that. I’ll stick this where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“Ooh,” Lucy whispered. “That made me feel tingly.” He rushed forward, wrapping himself around Linus’s leg, tilting his head back. “Even though it was my idea, I’ll let you be the one to light it.”
“A perfect gentleman,” Linus said, patting the top of his head.
“So you see, children,” Arthur said. “They may have the strength of the government behind them, but we have each other. I think DICOMY will find themselves extremely outmatched. Come, now. Let’s clean up this mess and prepare for tomorrow.”
For the rest of the day, they scoured the house, looking for anything that could be used against them. Sal and Theodore put plastic plugs into each of the outlets, lest Lucy decide to stick a fork in one again, just to see what would happen. David, Chauncey, and Lucy were tasked with putting soft covers on every sharp corner. Phee and Talia took to their jobs with gusto, growing flowers and leafy vines over the exterior cellar doors to make them appear as if they hadn’t been opened in ages, but not so much that David couldn’t escape through them should the need arise.
At midday, Zoe called from Helen’s shop, speaking with Arthur and letting him know she’d be back on the island the following morning before their guest arrived. “Helen will bring them out.”
“Are you sure?” Arthur asked. “Linus or I could do it. Helen doesn’t need to make more trouble for herself than she already has.”
She chuckled. “Too late for that, don’t you think?”
“I’m—”
“If you apologize again, I’m going to scream. Helen offered. I accepted. Simple as that. Get with it, Parnassus. DICOMY doesn’t get to decide what a family should look like, or how a home should be. It’s high time they remember that, and that we’re not afraid of them.”
“I am,” Arthur admitted. “Very much so.”
“Do you trust me?”
“You know I do.”
“Good,” Zoe said. “Because I have a few tricks up my sleeve, ones they won’t see coming. Consider it a last resort should things go south.”
“That certainly sounds disturbing. I approve.”
That night, after a subdued supper, Linus made a decision. He stood from the table, telling the children to clean up the kitchen, and that he’d be back shortly. Just as Sal and David finished washing the last of the dishes, Linus popped his head back in, ordering them all to change into their pajamas and to meet him at the front door.
Upstairs, Arthur asked, “Just what are you up to?”
Linus looked up from his half-buttoned sleep shirt. “You’ll see. It isn’t much, but I think it’ll be enough to distract them, at least for a little while. Hopefully, they’ll sleep through the night.”
Arthur snorted as he patted Calliope on the head. She sat on the bed, tail twitching behind her, eyes tracking Linus’s every movement. “Have you met them?”
Back downstairs, the children had gathered near the front door, each wearing their striped pajamas, aside from Theodore.
“Ready?” Linus asked, pushing his way through the children to the door.
