He looked over at her instead, and he saw tears welling in her eyes.
“Delia?” he said gently.
“She didn’t remember my little girl...” Delia’s chin trembled, and she wiped at her cheeks. “I’m sorry, it’s just that my mamm helped me through the loss of a baby girl, and... She had started knitting a little pink sweater for the baby when I was pregnant, and when I lost the baby, she stopped knitting. That unfinished sweater stayed on the top of her knitting basket always. But she forgot, and she thought she’d made a mistake in the counting, or something, and she ripped it apart.” Delia looked down at the ball of yarn. “She’d forgotten everything, and we caught her unraveling it and wrapping the yarn up into a ball.”
“Oh, Delia,” he murmured.
“I took the ball of yarn—I shouldn’t have. It won’t make any of it better, but—” Her chin trembled, and a tear slipped down her cheek.
Something inside him burned hot, and he wanted to fix this—somehow. It was his male way of thinking—he saw the woman he cared for crying, and he wanted to kick down doors and make someone pay. But there was no one to pay for this...
Ahead, Elias saw a side road that he knew led down to a creek. He took the turn and then reined in by the babbling water. The shade was cool, and the low sunlight slanted like gold through the trees.
Elias didn’t say anything else. He just moved over on the bench seat, slipped his arms around Delia’s shoulders and pulled her solidly against his chest. He could feel her warm tears wetting his shirt. He had no words for this kind of pain, but he was glad she shared it with him. He ran his hand across her shaking shoulders, and he pressed a kiss on the top of her hair that was exposed before her kapp covered the rest. How much pain did this woman carry around with her, unknown to anyone else?
When Delia leaned back, her face was blotchy, and her eyes were red. She sniffled, and he wished that there was something more he could do to make any of this easier for her.
“I hope I don’t seem like I’m maladjusted or something, but this is why I wanted to spend some time with Violet,” Delia said, dabbing at her nose with a handkerchief. “A girl around the farm, working with the boys—I don’t know, it felt nice.”
“You don’t have to feel bad about that,” he said. “I always wanted more kinner, and spending time with your boys has filled a hole in my heart, too. So no guilt over enjoying time with my daughter.”
“Danke,” she said with a faint smile. She turned her gaze down to the ball of yarn in her lap. “I lost my little girl, and I’m losing my mother, too...”
“She needs a doctor,” he said firmly. “She’s not lost yet. I’m sure they can help. But I know what you mean. Time marches on, doesn’t it?”
“Since when did we become the people in charge in our broader families, Elias?” she asked, shaking her head. “Since when did we become the ones who must come up with all the solutions?”
“I guess we know how little prepared our own parents felt at our age, don’t we?” he said.
She met his gaze and a smile touched her lips. “I suppose so. We all rely on Gott more than our kinner ever guess.”
“Amen to that,” Elias said, and he took her hand once more. Her fingers felt cool and delicate in his grasp. “Delia, I know this is all overwhelming, but you’re a good mother and a good daughter and...a good friend to me. Many people are thankful for you in their lives. I know that for a fact.”
“How is it you know the right things to say?” she asked softly.
“I was just...being honest,” he admitted feebly.
“Even that...” She wiped at her cheek again. “I thought I’d have more wisdom by now, Elias.”
“Me, too,” he said. “I’m not sure how much wisdom I’ve got, but I do have perspective. And I know a good woman when I meet her.”
“Raising four boys alone isn’t easy,” she said. “And now my mamm will need my help—and Joseph, too.”
“I wish I could stay longer,” he said. The words were out before he could even think them through. He did wish he could stay longer—just spend a few more weeks or even months next door to this lovely woman. He wanted to get to know her better and lend a hand where he could.
Delia dropped her gaze then, and she pressed her lips together.
“Did I say something wrong?” he asked.
“Elias, I’m...” Her cheeks colored. “You’ve been very kind and very good to me. But I’m...” She swallowed. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m not used to getting this kind of attention from a man. And while other women might be able to keep their feelings in check, I’m finding it hard to—” She turned away. “You are a handsome man. You must know that. That’s not me flattering you—I’m just trying to point out that... Oh, I’m sounding like a fool.”
She sounded nothing like a fool. She sounded honest and sweet and like maybe she had been feeling the same way he had.
“Am I crossing lines, Delia?” he asked cautiously. He’d promised both her and her son that he wouldn’t do that.
“No!” she said. “Maybe... I don’t know!” She turned back toward him. “All I know is that I’m enjoying this time with you more than we agreed to.”
“I am, too,” he said, and he caught her gaze.
“Then we’d better be careful!” she said, her voice becoming firm. “We’ve got five kinner between us who are supposed to learn about proper courting that doesn’t cross lines and leaves no hearts broken. They’re supposed to get used to the idea of a stepparent, not get dragged into something messy!”
Elias licked his lips and nodded. “You’re right.”
“I’m sorry that I’m not at my best,” she said. “I’m normally a little more pulled together.”
“Delia, you’re perfect,” he said.
A smile touched her lips. “Oh, Elias, you’d better stop with that sweet talking.”
“I keep telling you,” he said with a low laugh, “I’m not trying to sweet-talk you. I’m just telling you how I see it.”
But her warning was a wise one. Somehow, he’d started out wanting to give Violet the benefit of Delia’s advice, and instead he’d let himself get attached to her. It was happening a little too easily. With every other woman, his armor had been up. But with Delia, he didn’t seem to have any armor.
“I’ll take you home now,” he said. “Will you be all right?”
“Yah, I’m feeling better,” she said. “Danke, Elias.”
His name on her tongue sounded sweet, but he didn’t let himself dwell on that. He’d best get home, too. He was here to help his parents move house, not to get his heart battered.
