“And I didn’t feel the right connection,” she replied. “I can go driving with a man, and I can tell right away if there’s something special there. Or at least I think I will. So far, I haven’t found it. I don’t know if that’s my problem, though. Because other girls fall halfway in love with a man based on a bit of flirting. I don’t.”
Yah, he’d learned that over the years. Plenty of girls did.
“That’s a good thing that you don’t,” he said. “Trust me.”
She shot him a mildly amused smile. “You would know about that.” That stung. “It’s turning into a challenge, though. Everyone, including my grandmother, thinks I’m too careful. You probably don’t know what to make of me, do you?”
“You’re a decent woman,” he replied. “I’m curious to see what kinds of plans you make.”
“You really want to know?” she asked.
“Yah, if you’ll tell me. I won’t meddle. I live too far away for that. I’m probably a safe sounding board in that respect.”
She nodded. “That’s a logical point. All right, I will tell you. I want to go to my aunt and uncle in Shipshewana and help them build up their tour business. They have tourists who come through their house and see how a real Amish home runs—it’s fascinating for Englishers. I suppose I’d be equally fascinated to see how they do things. But my aunt and uncle want to broaden out, and they like how I raise specialty hens. I’m good at it, but I’m also fascinated by the rest of their business. I think I could help them grow it and maybe learn how to start something up of my own.”
Arden looked over at her, intrigued. “You don’t see chickens in your future?”
“I’ll always have chickens, I imagine, but you need a much larger chicken farm than I maintain to make a real living at it.”
“Does getting married fit into that?” he asked.
“Of course. I could meet new people in Shipshewana. People who don’t already know me so very well. It would be a fresh start.”
That was exactly what his daet had told him he needed when they moved to Ohio and exactly what he was starting to appreciate now. A fresh start could be priceless.
“I know that feeling,” he agreed. “I got my fresh start in Ohio. And if I can get a fresh start, anyone can.”
They passed under a low-hanging branch, and a twig scraped along the roof of the buggy.
“Is your fresh start working out for you?” she asked.
“Not as well as I’d hoped, honestly. It’s not like I stepped into a new community and everything came together for me. It’s been really hard work, and I’ve gotten my heart broken. But I understand what you mean about wanting a new beginning of your own. Sometimes you need to get far from the people who know you best to get a fair chance. I could never marry a girl from Redemption. They know the worst of me. I need someone who never saw that—who only sees me now, for whatever that’s worth.”
Sarai turned forward, her lips pressed together in a thin line.
“You disagree,” he said.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. You don’t hide it well.”
Sarai laughed. “All right, then. I’ll just say it. Women aren’t so easily fooled. A wise woman can sense when a man is hiding something.”
“I’m not hiding anything,” he said. “I’m the son of a struggling farmer. I work with my daet on the farm and try to make a substandard piece of land profitable. I don’t hide any of it.”
“Sure you do. You hide your history.”
“It wouldn’t be much of a fresh start if I dragged every one of my regrets along with me, would it?” Arden could stop here and argue the finer points of a starting over with her, but he was too close to unearthing some information that would really help him get his life moving in the right direction. “So how do I marry a good woman?”
“I don’t think I can tell you that,” she replied.
“It’s not so easily done?” he asked.
“Yah, that’s part of it, but the other part is that I don’t think it’s right to give you the secret to winning a good woman’s heart. If you haven’t figured it out on your own, then I don’t think you’re ready for it.”
He chuckled. “You’re joking.” He looked over at her, but her expression was completely sober now. “You don’t think I’m a decent man now, do you?”
“I think you are who you are,” she said. That was an attempt at diplomacy.
“And who am I?” he asked.
“You’re a flirt, Arden,” she said with a sigh. “You know it, and I know it. You know how to make a girl feel whatever you want her to feel. And I think that’s wrong.”
“I also didn’t know how far-reaching the consequences would be,” he countered. “I flirted, but the girls liked it. And I always cut things off before it got serious. Or at least I thought I had. It felt like a game back then. A lot of us treated it like a game at that age. You can’t say there weren’t girls who did the exact same thing!”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“I agree. It doesn’t. I was foolish, but I wasn’t mean on purpose. I’ve grown up since then. I’m not the same way anymore,” he countered.
“We’ll see about that.” She shrugged. “Arden, I have no doubt that you’ll find a woman who will soften to your charms. I don’t know what you’re worrying about.”
And that wasn’t his problem.
“I did find one,” Arden said. “She used me and broke my heart. Maybe I had that coming after all the havoc I created here in Redemption. But I got my payback.”
“What happened?”
He might as well tell her. Everyone back in Ohio already knew.
