Grant nodded, his teeth practically chattering.
“Did we not have any hot water?” Hailey sighed.
Grant laughed.
Hailey stared back at him, recognition registering on her face. “Oh my gosh, did you take a cold shower?” she blurted. “I mean, I’ve heard people say that in movies and stuff…but do people really do that? I’m sorry!”
Grant shrugged. “It’s okay, Hails; we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”
“That’s just it,” Hailey shook her head. “There won’t be a time when I’m ready.”
“Ever?” Grant gulped.
“No!” Hailey exclaimed. “That’s not what I meant!” She rushed toward him and began rubbing his arms to warm him up. She paused, remembering how badly she had wanted Grant, how right she had felt in his arms. Then she recalled how he had undressed her in one swooping motion with the precision of a man who had been there and done that. She thought about how innocent and inexperienced she must seem to him, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he had picked up on her insecurity the way she had picked up on the fact that he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. “Grant, can I ask you something?” she said almost shyly.
Grant looked back at her, suddenly fearing the question he knew she would ask.
“Well,” Hailey began to stutter, “it’s just that…well, I’ve never…you know…I haven’t…but, I was just wondering if…what I’m trying to ask is…have you ever…?”
“I’ve never made love before either,” Grant said tactfully, easing her anxiety.
Hailey smiled easily as she pondered Grant’s words, and, though she knew what he meant, she found his word choice honest and sweet.
Still, the thought lingered in her head. “How many?” she heard herself ask before she could stop herself.
“It’s not important,” Grant shook his head. He reached for Hailey’s hand and kissed it tenderly. “I wish I could stand here and tell you that I’ve never been with anyone else; I wish I could honestly tell you that I’ve never done anything I regret, but I can’t. What I can tell you is that none of it mattered, and things would have been different if I had known there was ever going to be someone as wonderful as you in my future. Hails, you are the only girl who has ever mattered to me; you are the only girl I want, and I’ll wait as long as I have to.”
“You’re not mad?” Hailey smiled.
“No,” Grant shook his head. “I’m not mad.”
“I feel bad,” Hailey sighed. “I never should have allowed things to get so out of hand tonight. I was just excited that we were finally going to have some time to ourselves, and I got…we got carried away. I know I probably gave you the impression that things were going to go farther than they did, and I’m sorry. I just don’t know what got into me!”
“You don’t have to apologize to me,” Grant smiled.
“I’m just disappointed in myself,” Hailey shook her head. “Daddy has a saying,” she forced a smile. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? It means…”
“I know what it means,” Grant nodded.
“I have always promised myself that I will wait until my wedding night to make love for the first time,” Hailey said, her voice shaky. “That way, my virginity is like a gift to my new husband. I know that might seem silly to you, but I believe that it’s the way things are supposed to be. It’s important to me to wait…”
“And if something is truly important to you, then it’s important to both of us,” Grant replied without hesitation.
“You’re really not mad?” Hailey marveled.
Grant shook his head. “No,” he smiled back at her. “I’m not mad…not unless you’re planning on spending that wedding night with some other guy.”
Hailey laughed and cried at the same time. “There is only one guy I want, and I’m looking at him.”
Grant glanced over his shoulder, and Hailey popped him, laughing easily now. Grant smiled as Hailey flung her arms around him. “I’m not going anywhere, Hailey,” he said with confidence.
“I love you,” Hailey cried. “I’m sorry,” she shook her head. “I don’t know why I’m crying like a blubbering idiot. It’s just that you’re the answer to the prayers I prayed.”
Grant brushed a strand of fallen hair away from Hailey’s face and rested his lips lovingly against her forehead. “I never knew it was possible to feel this way about another person until I met you,” he whispered. “You not only changed my life…you are my life.” Tears streamed down Hailey’s face, and Grant gently wiped them away with his thumbs. “I love you,” he mouthed as he stared into her eyes.
Hailey leaned into his arms, ready to put the night behind her, but certain that she wanted to hear him say those words to her everyday for the rest of their lives.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The living room was silent, except for the CD player beneath the Christmas tree that was softly playing Alan Jackson’s version of White Christmas. Hailey and Grant sat side-by-side on the couch, each reading a novel beneath a shared blanket. Hailey took a sip of her hot chocolate as she cuddled closer to Grant, immersed in a romantic scene unfolding in the Nicholas Sparks novel she was reading. There was a fire in the fireplace, and snow was falling outside. The scent of hazelnut filled the air, and the Christmas tree was lit. Jessica and Emily were sitting in beanbags on opposite sides of the coffee table, quietly playing Candy Land. Hailey looked up from her book and smiled at Grant, admiring the way his glasses framed his features as he stared intently at his book. Sensing she was watching him, Grant stole a sideways glance at Hailey and offered a crooked half-smile before his lips fell to rest on her forehead.
The telephone rang, interrupting the mood, and Jessica ran into the kitchen to pick it up. “Grant,” she covered the receiver, “it’s for you!”
“Is it my dad again?” Grant called. “I told him Mom was in the shower! Tell him I’ll call him back later with a more convincing lie about his estranged wife’s whereabouts!”
“I think it’s that coach,” Jessica hollered back.
Hailey knew that it was the assistant coach from the University of North Carolina on the phone. He was calling on a weekly basis now, about this time each week. In fact, she has been dreading his phone call for the last fifteen minutes. She stood up, visibly emotional despite her attempt to mask her frustration, as Grant went to take the call. Hailey walked over to the window to stare out at the snow, hoping the winter storm would make spring and graduation seem a lifetime away.
“Are you okay?” Jessica frowned when she returned to the living room and joined her sister next to the window.
“Of course, I’m fine,” Hailey shrugged as she raised her mug to her glossy lips, determined not to cry.
“Right,” Jessica nodded. “I’m sure it’s just the relationship of the fictional characters and their fictional will they or won’t they struggle described in that book you’re reading that is weighting so heavily on your heart.”
