“Like I told you, he suggested further testing,” Nora replied. “I talked to Joanna earlier, and she was looking online. She thinks it could be Mono or that he could be anemic. I’m really worried, Randy.”
“Jo is a lawyer, Nora; can we not get our son to a real doctor?” Randy said gruffly. “Bring him here, and I’ll take him to the doctor.”
“He’s going to the doctor on the 23rd,” Nora repeated. “Like I said, he has an appointment in Memphis. If you would like to be here, I would like for you to be. If you are too uncomfortable with the idea of spending Christmas in Hope Hull, then you will be the first person I call when we leave the doctor’s office.”
“I wanted you and Grant and Emily to spend Christmas here…with our family,” Randy sighed.
“Randy,” Nora barked back, “I told you….Grant has basketball practice; Emily is in the Christmas program at the church; Grant wants to spend Christmas with Hailey, and now this doctor’s appointment has popped up.”
Randy went on as though he had not heard her. “We can watch Leah open her presents on Christmas morning. Emily can be with Rachel. You can make Jo those gingerbread cookies she loved on Christmas mornings when she was at kid. We can have pigs-in-a-blanket like you always make. I put the lights up outside the house, those big colored bulbs like you like, and I lined our walkway with our toy soldiers, just the way you like it.”
Nora imagined Randy spending hours decorating their house, then flipping the switch and walking down the drive to view the spectacle that would welcome his family home. She smiled as she brought her hand to her heart. “Aww, Randy…I don’t know what to say…”
Randy swallowed. “I thought that on Christmas Eve we would all go to the cemetery and put some poinsettias on Ike’s grave.” He paused, recalling past Christmases. “The kids used to write him letters on his birthday and at Christmas…I don’t know why they ever stopped.”
“Sweetheart,” Nora sighed.
“I know, we talked about this last year,” Randy conceded. “You think it’s good, in a way, that the children have healed and moved on…”
“It doesn’t mean they have forgotten him or that they love him any less,” Nora teared up.
“Nora, don’t cry,” Randy gulped. “Don’t cry when I’m not there to hold you.”
Nora nodded. “I know that Ike is in Heaven with Jesus, and that he is safe and taken care of and happy and never hurting and never sad… but I just miss him…”
“Why do they say that time heals? Why do they all tell you that?” Randy snapped. “It doesn’t heal…the hurt never goes away…at times it is as raw as it was that day…and, honestly, I hope it always stays that way for me! I never want the hurt to go away! I can accept that he is gone; I can accept that God was in control that day, but I want to hurt every day of my life because that is how much I loved him.”
Nora felt her body tremble. Despite everything that had happened between her and her husband, he was still that…her husband, her life partner, the father of her children, the person who knew her best, the man with whom she had spent her happiest days and her saddest moments. He was the one whom she had vowed to love forever in good times and bad. He was the one with whom she had jumped up and down the day she found out they were expecting their first child. He was the one she stayed up at night worried sick about when he was deployed. He was the one whose eyes beamed with pride the day their youngest son joined the family that they had long since thought to be complete. He was the one who stood taller than the rest of the fathers at West Point’s graduation ceremony, the year that his oldest son joined the family ranks. He was the one who kept her sane as the details of her teenage daughter’s rape and resulting pregnancy tested her faith and her resolve. He was the one who had held her on the night their world fell apart, the one whose arms remained strong enough to hold her despite the fact that he too was crumbling. He was her soul mate and the only man in the world she could imagine forgiving after he’d hurt her so deeply.
“Randy, I know it is a lot to ask,” Nora cried, “but, please, consider coming to Tennessee for Christmas. I know that everyone just came for Thanksgiving, and that it’s not fair to ask you or the kids to come to us again…”
“I’ll ask them,” Randy said matter-of-factly.
Nora was shocked. She was certainly pleased by his willingness to adhere to her request, but she was unprepared for the lack of resistance. There was a long pause, simply because she had been prepared to argue with him about Jack’s presence in their lives. Finally, she said, “I think you should come with me to Grant’s doctor’s appointment. Call it mother’s intuition or just me being a worrywart, but I’m really concerned about him, Randy.”
“Okay, then I’ll be there,” Randy agreed. “I’m looking at flights as we speak.”
“Nora?” Hailey called from down the hallway. “I think Grant’s running a fever. Can you check the thermometer?”
“Randy,” Nora said into the phone, “I better go. I need to check on Grant.”
“Alright,” Randy sighed, “I’ll try to talk the kids into coming with me, but, either way, I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay,” Nora agreed, her gratitude ringing in that single word.
“But I’m not staying at his house!” Randy added.
“Thank you for doing this,” Nora said softly. She started to say goodbye, but, instead, she began to cry again. “Maybe after Grant’s appointment, we can fly back and spend Christmas in North Carolina and go visit the cemetery.”
“I’d like that,” Randy replied simply. “I love you, Nora,” he said, hanging up the phone, knowing it would be easier to let those words linger than to wait for her reply or lack thereof.
The mall in Memphis was decorated marvelously for Christmas as Nora and the girls strolled through the holiday crowd. There were bows on all the columns; the store windows were trimmed in holiday cheer, and small children stood in line with their parents, waiting for their turn to talk to Santa.
“Leah, do you want to sit on Santa’s lap?” Nora pointed as Leah peered through the miniature white picket fence around a splendid Christmas tree display.
Leah giggled as she reached her hands up to her mother.
“I think that means, not a chance!” Joanna laughed.
“Mom, take a picture of me and Em in front of the tree,” Rachel said, digging for her digital camera.
Emily put her hand on the small pooch of Rachel’s tummy. “With the baby!” she grinned.
“That’s a good one!” Rachel exclaimed, as she showed Emily the resulting picture on the camera’s display screen. “You’re so beautiful, Em! This is going to be my new profile picture on my Facebook page!”
Nora took pictures of all the girls in various poses in front of the Christmas displays: Hailey, Emily and Jessica as Charlie’s Angels in front of the tree; Leah reaching for the shiny silver balls; all the girls gathered around a giant statue of Frosty; Jessica striking a pose in front of a giant box wrapped in metallic red paper and topped with a flowing green bow; Leah grinning as she placed her hands on Melissa’s cheeks; Jessica and Emily next to a candy cane, sticking their tongues out, making silly faces.
They laughed and cut-up as they joined hands to keep from getting separated in the crowd. Nora bought them all pieces of fudge and divinity, and they squealed with excitement as they savored the sweet flavors.
Hailey let out a startled yelp as she was wrapped up from behind. “Excuse me, Miss, are you from Tennessee?” asked the most intentionally bad southern accent she had ever heard.
“Yes, Sir, I am,” she winked at her friends without even turning her head.
“You must be because you’re the only Ten I See.” Grant kissed her cheek.
Hailey laughed as she turned around and kissed him back. “Hi, Silly! What did you do with the rest of the guys?”
