In the confessional, Linda squinted as she adjusted to the intensity of the lighting on all sides.
“Did you have a good date?” Deja asked. “Tristan said it went well.”
“Did he?” Linda grinned. “I was wary at first, but the curio shop turned out to be interesting.”
“You like looking at dead things?”
“No. Not particularly. But I like going places I’ve never been before.”
Deja twisted her lips to the side. “Tell us about the date, then.”
Linda recounted her date to the three cameras. She waxed poetic about Tristan’s love of scary things. “It’s a layer of depth I didn’t expect.”
Deja remained stone-faced. She was good at that.
The uncanny creature with roots for feet flashed in Linda’s mind. Its sallow skin had reminded her of her dead father. She shivered.
“Something the matter?” Deja prompted.
“Nothing.” Linda faked a smile. “Tristan is everything I could want in a husband.”
“How did he respond to the revelation that you’ve been married before?” Deja’s eyes glinted.
“When I told him I’ve been married before, he said exactly the right things. He has a true heart.” Sometimes it surprised Linda how well she’d learned these lines.
“What did you tell him about it?”
“We were young, my ex-husband and I. We thought we’d stay the same people we were when we were twenty. We didn’t.”
“And you want to get married again?”
“I loved being married. I loved the idea of going through life with a partner, building a life with the love of another person. I loved being a wife. Taking care of a house. Thinking of another person and how we could make it, together. I just want someone who will care about taking care of a house with me. I want to be equals in all things.”
“You think Tristan can give you that?”
Linda paused. “I know he can,” she lied.
Deja glared at her. “You don’t have to bullshit me here,” she said. “Sometimes, honesty makes for the best TV. And what we’re creating here is the best season in all of this show’s history.”
But Linda shrugged. “I’m not lying,” she said. “You know me, Deja. I’m an open book.”
• • •
Linda’s parents hadn’t been equals. Linda’s mother had worked herself to exhaustion taking care of a home that Linda’s father never appreciated. Before coming on the show, Linda visited her mother to let her know that she wouldn’t be stopping by for the three months it might take to film. Linda signed herself into the mental health facility and asked the orderly if she could take her mother for a walk.
Linda met her mother at the back door and offered her an arm to hold. Linda’s mother refused the gesture, opting to walk on her own down the three concrete steps that led into a yard surrounded by forest.
It was about to storm, a fall rain that appeared with the changes in temperature. The cooling air fought with the cruel Texas heat, and in the distance, Linda glimpsed sparks of lightning in a gray cloud. She heard no thunder, but the wind picked up as they walked, blowing the limbs in the woods with a violence that made Linda uneasy.
“I won’t be around for a while,” Linda told her mother as they walked along the tree line.
“Okay,” Linda’s mother said.
“Do you want to know where I’ll be?” Linda asked.
From the door to the institution, an orderly kept a close eye on them.
“You want to tell me,” Linda’s mother said. “I have no choice but to let you.”
“I’ll be in California. I’m going on a show.” As she said it, Linda felt the faintest spark of excitement.
Linda’s mother smirked. “What’s the show?”
“It’s a dating show,” Linda said. “One where you compete with other women for the heart of some rich bastard.” She forced a laugh, trying to show her mom levity even as she longed to hear a message of congratulations leave the woman’s lips.
“That man better watch out,” Linda’s mother said, no hint of cheer in her words.
Linda frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Linda’s mother sighed. “Have a nice trip, I suppose. I’ll just be here, all alone. It’s not like I have a husband to keep me company. That’s no thanks to you. But you go compete for one, dear. That’s lovely for you. Truly.”
Linda said nothing. Instead, she led her mother back to the door and the orderly stationed there.
“Everything all right?” the orderly asked.
“Fine,” Linda said, and she handed her mother off.
As she drove away, the storm moved in, leaves rushing across the country road that led from the institution back into the city. Linda let the nothing settle over her, a comfort.
