“So we're back to that.” Luke stripped off his coat. “What is it about Seattle? It's just a city where it rains a lot, a place full of strangers who don't care about each other.”
“You don't know what it's like. I was accepted there.”
“You call being ridiculed and thrown in jail being accepted?”
“That's not how it was. Before all that, everything was fine. They just made a mistake.”
“Some mistake. You think you were more accepted there than you are here?”
“We've talked about this before.” Mattie was quiet. What had happened to the tranquility she'd felt along the river, the tender memories of her childhood? They no longer seemed real. “I don't want to live here,” she said matter-of-factly. “I don't think I can be happy here. Everything was different in Seattle.” She rested her hands against Luke's chest. “I really think we could be content there. Please, think about it.”
With a sigh, Luke sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off a boot. “I can't think about it. I know you believe it would be better, but it wouldn't be right for us.” He hooked his thumb into the other boot and pulled. It dropped to the floor. “I'm the head of our home now,” he said gently. “I'm responsible for making the right choices for us, and the right choice is here.”
“How is it that you know what's right for us? I thought we were both part of this marriage.”
“We are, but…Well, I just know I'm right about this.”
Mattie sat down hard on a straight-backed chair. “And what if you're wrong?”
“Then I'm wrong, and I'll face the consequences.”
“I thought you cared how I feel.”
“I do, and that's one of the reasons we have to stay here. It's right for you.” Luke leaned forward and rested his arms on his thighs. “Mattie, it's time to put your past behind you and start living for today. Thinking about past hurts just makes things worse.”
“You're the one to talk about past hurts.” Before he could respond, she said, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.”
He stood and crossed to her. “You're right. I do need to work on some things, but this isn't about me.” He caressed her hair. “You can't run away from your troubles or from who you are.” He kissed the top of her head. “I love who you are, and being native is part of you and part of what I love about you.”
Mattie couldn't stay mad. She leaned against him. “What you say sounds sensible, but I've tried, and I can't do it.” She straightened. “Every time I think about the children we want to have and about their growing up here I get scared. I don't want them to go through what I did.”
The song of a wolf resonated in the distance. She glanced at the window. “And it can be dangerous here.”
“It's dangerous anywhere. Look what happened in Seattle when they thought you were Japanese. Around here a person just has to use his head a little more.” He stripped off wool pants and draped them over the end of the bed. “Let's go to bed. It's late.”
“We have to think this out carefully. I want to have a part in this decision. What we decide is going to affect our entire lives.”
“No matter what we do, we won't have a perfect life. We will always have troubles.”
“I know. I don't expect it to be perfect.” Mattie walked to the window and stared out. “I think about you and Ray and how much it hurts you to see him living in your house.” She turned to Luke. “If you lived somewhere else, you wouldn't have to face that all the time.”
“That part I wouldn't mind, but…like you said, I've got to face it. Just like you, running away won't really help. I'm going to have to sort out my feelings.”
“I'm not running away.” She climbed into bed.
Luke stared at the ceiling. “That's right, because I'm not going to let you.”
Lying on her back, Mattie folded her arms under her head. “Well, maybe I am, but moving would make life better for both of us.” She snuggled against Luke. “Won't you please at least think about it?”
“I'll think on it, but—”
“No buts. Just think…and pray.”
“All right.” Luke rolled to his side and pulled Mattie close. He kissed her on the tip of the nose. “Those wolves missed out on a real treat.”
“Luke! That's not funny.”
“I'm just talking about how sweet you taste.” He kissed her again, only this time with passion.
Mattie knew they wouldn't leave Alaska.
Chapter 28
ADAM DIDN'T MUCH FEEL LIKE A PARTY WHEN HE STEPPED INTO THE TOWNSEND kitchen. William hurried past his father and galloped toward the front room. Adam helped Laurel with her coat and hung it on a hook beside the door. The aroma of roasting meat pervaded the house. “Smells good,” Adam said, trying to be sociable.
“Hello there,” Jean said as William ran through the kitchen. She grabbed him, and resting her palms on his cheeks, kissed him. “How good to see you.”
Adam's thoughts were with Elisa and Adin. He hadn't been able to shake thoughts of them all day—most days since he'd returned home. What had become of them? Had they actually escaped France? Were they safe? He'd heard reports of heavy bombing in London.
He stripped off his gloves and pushed them into his coat pockets. Adam's thoughts remained in London. The woman at the British immigration office had eyed Elisa suspiciously, and after discovering she was a Jew, had treated her with contempt.
I should have made sure they were safely settled somewhere before leaving the country. What if that clerk rejected their papers? What if Elisa and Adin had been sent back to France?
“Good to see you, Adam,” Jean said, taking his hands and giving them a squeeze. “My, you're freezing. How about something hot to warm you up?”
“Sounds good. You have coffee?” He shrugged out of his coat.
“I do,” Jean said, crossing to the stove.
