“I don't know. Do you think if someone wants something badly then it's what God wants for that person?”
“Sometimes, but not always. The world and its desires can cloud our thinking, keep us from listening to God. Sometimes the clatter drowns him out.” She leaned forward. “What about Robert?”
“He's a wonderful man. I love him, but …” Laurel stood and walked to the window and stared at the rocked walkway, green shoots of spring grass, and blooming wildflowers. “Sometimes I feel like something else is pulling at me, and I'm not sure I should marry him.”
“The wedding is in December?”
Laurel nodded.
“It seems you have a lot of time to think on it then.”
Jessie pushed herself out of her chair. “No one can tell you whether or not it's right to marry or not to marry. Only you can know. Life comes to us just as it is.” She crossed to Laurel. “Maybe you should think about what your life would be like if Robert wasn't in it. The answer lies in your heart. If it's meant to be, then no matter where you are or what life brings, you'll be content. Trust God to lead you. If you put him first, you'll find your way.”
Laurel chuckled. “You sound like my father.”
“Well, of course I do. He knows God, and so do I.” Jessie grinned. “Now, I think it's time for that tea.” She shuffled into the kitchen, took two cups from the cupboard, and filled them with the pale amber brew.
“I know I'm being silly worrying about all this. What you said about raising children, well, I'd never really thought about it that way. I guess it is a privilege.”
Laurel walked into the kitchen. Taking both the cups, she crossed to the table and sat down, setting one in front of her and the other opposite her. “I love the work I'm doing for you. Maybe I can help you with the book when we're finished.”
Jessie lowered herself onto a wooden chair. “I'm counting on it. A lot of work still needs to be done. I don't know how I'd do it without you.”
When Laurel left Jessie's that afternoon, she felt better about her wedding plans and her future in Alaska. Still, she wanted to talk to Celeste. She could always count on her to speak the truth. Laurel trusted her. She stopped at the store, hoping her friend was working.
The bell hanging from the doorknob rang its usual cheerful chime when she opened the door and stepped inside. Heat radiated from a wood stove, and the store smelled of spices and coffee.
Leaning on the countertop, Celeste looked through a magazine. At the sound of the bell, she looked up. “Hi. I was just thinking about you.” She held up the magazine. “There's a perfect wedding gown in here.” Celeste laid the magazine on the counter, opening it to a page with a wedding dress.
Laurel studied an elegant white gown with a beaded bodice and princess neckline. It had long sleeves with beaded wrist insets and a long, full skirt.
“Isn't it just the thing for a December wedding?” Celeste asked. “I knew it was the perfect dress when I saw it. It will look wonderful on you.”
“It's lovely, but we can't afford anything that fancy. My mother and I are going to make my dress. We've already ordered a pattern from Sears and Roebuck. I'll show it to you when it comes in.”
Celeste walked out from behind the counter. “Oh, Laurel, you'll be the most beautiful bride. I can see you floating down the aisle with a long train sweeping behind you.” She giggled. “And Robert will be waiting at the altar.” She sighed.
“You're such a romantic.”
“Maybe.”
“Even if I wanted a wedding gown like that, we could never afford it. I don't know what we're going to do. Already there's talk that there won't be buyers for our vegetables.”
Celeste's mouth turned hard. “And you think my father's behind it?”
“Well …” Laurel hedged. “I heard—”
“You and the others blame him for everything! You all talk about how unfair the homesteaders are toward you, but did you ever think about how they feel? I mean, you all came into town and just took over. Everything you've needed has been handed to you.” Celeste slammed a can of green beans on the shelf. “Sometimes the world doesn't revolve around you and your farms, you know. Other people are also trying to make a living.”
Laurel couldn't believe what she was hearing. Celeste had never even hinted that she was angry with the colonists.
“You complain and complain. It's never enough. You've all had so much help, but you want more.” She swung around and glared at Laurel. “You know, you can't always blame someone else for your troubles. Sometimes it's just life. Sometimes it's your own fault!”
Doing her best to control her tears, Laurel looked straight at her friend. “I thought we were friends. I didn't know you hated me and the others.”
Celeste's anger seemed to crumple. She leaned on the counter. “I don't hate you.” Her face softened. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get mad. It's just that my dad gets blamed for everything.” She glanced out the front window. “And I don't know what I believe anymore.” Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Sometimes I'm afraid he really did those things to Robert and some of the others.” Her chin quivered, and she pressed her hand against her mouth. “I know my dad's not evil. He was wonderful to my mother, and he's always been a good father. How could he do what they say he did?”
Chapter Thirty-Four
A DAY OF CELEBRATION WAS SCHEDULED TO COMMEMORATE THE one-year anniversary for the colonists. It was called Colony Day. It was also a day of no return. May sixteenth was the last day the government would send colonists back to their hometowns at no charge.
It hadn't been an easy year. Many had difficulties adjusting to Alaskan life—the difference in soil and climate, government errors, money worries, family tragedies, and on and on. And now, with a threatened boycott of goods by homesteaders, they were facing more trouble. As the May sixteenth date approached, some agonized over whether they should stay or go, but most decided to stay.
The celebration included speeches, games, music, and good food. Feeling very much like one family, the Haspers, Lundeens, Jessie, Celeste, Alex, Mattie, and Robert sat together, their blankets spread out on new spring grass. The sun felt almost warm. The fragrance of wildflowers, greenery, and moist earth filled the air. The mosquitoes had uncharacteristically taken a holiday and didn't bother picnickers.
“You want to be my partner in the three-legged race?” Luke asked, grabbing his friend Alex. “We'll beat the pants off everybody else.”
“Sure,” Alex said, jumping to his feet.
The two teens ran to the starting line, joining several other boys.
They were given a piece of rope and were tying it around two of their legs when a husky boy with dark wild hair walked up to them. “Hey, Luke, we don't want no siewashes in this race. You can run if you want, but not him.” His eyes rested on Alex.
Adrenaline surged through Laurel, her anger rising. She'd seen this before. “Did you hear what he said?” she asked Robert.
“Yeah, I heard,” he said glumly.
Laurel stood, glaring at the boy. Someone needed to put a stop to his bigotry.
