“He’s lost it,” Jude said. He was sitting on the floor, scratching his dog Ripley’s ears. She went everywhere with him, and it was a known fact that he talked to her more than he talked to us.
“Seriously,” Finn muttered. “What happened to you?”
I sipped my beer and considered his question. “I spent so many years desperate to save the company, and in the end, I failed.”
Every one of them grumbled, always trying to placate me, but I shook my head.
“For so long, I felt awful. Like I had let you all down. But now, I’m just an employee, a guy who punches the clock. And it feels great.”
Cole looked up at me, his brows pulled low in confusion. We’d only recently started to spend time together, and our relationship was still tense. “Are you seriously talking about how you feel right now?”
Finn raised an eyebrow.
With my elbows on the armrests, I sat forward and nodded. You’d think that after my life’s dream had been destroyed, I’d be down and out. But I was shockingly okay.
“Who are you?” Finn asked, bouncing Thor gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever once heard you even acknowledge the existence of feelings, and you’re always scowling.”
“That’s just my face,” I said. “And I can talk about shit.”
The three of them exchanged nervous glances.
“So now that you’re all open and shit”—Finn shook his head—“you gonna tell us the full story of your ex-wife? You’ve been cagey.”
“I think he had a personality transplant,” Jude said, shoving a handful of pretzels into his mouth. “Coulda been the Boston trip.”
Finn hummed. “Boston’s a medical hub. I bet they’ve got all kinds of procedures that correct chronic assholery.”
“Fuck off.” I threw a tortilla chip at Jude. It bounced off his forehead, and when it hit the floor, Ripley snatched it up and chomped down on it.
Putting into words what had happened between Chloe and me seemed impossible. It was mind-blowing sex, but so much more. We’d connected and laughed and yelled, and then we’d let ourselves get lost in one another. And it had changed me.
A perfect storm of emotions was raging within me. While they, like normal people, had probably grown and evolved slowly over time, I’d always been an overachiever. When I decided to do something, I committed 100 percent of myself to the task.
That’s how I ended up at technical school. And how I ended up competing in lumberjack competitions and making chainsaw art. I always jumped in with both feet.
And after feeling so stuck for so long, it just made sense to pivot.
“Things happen for a reason. And some greater power brought Chloe back. I have no idea what’s going to happen, but why be closed-off and angry when I can embrace the possibilities instead?”
“Should we call a doctor?” Cole asked, laughing. “I think he’s officially lost it.”
“I’ve been reading Brené Brown,” I explained.
Finn let out a chuckle. “Mom got to you too, huh?”
I dipped my chin. “I started with her TED Talk.”
Jude shook his head. “The TED Talk is the Brené gateway drug. You gotta fight it, dude.”
“And then it was podcasts,” I continued.
“And the next thing you knew, you were staying up all night weeping while reading Daring Greatly?” Finn finished. “Fuck, that book is so good.” He looked down and cooed at his son, who was starting to wake up.
Jude shook his head. “You gotta stay away from Mom’s self-improvement shit.”
Finn laughed. “You’re dead wrong. Best thing I ever did. I had to evolve to win a woman like Adele. I had to own my shit, deal with my past, and embrace a growth mindset.”
Our younger brothers looked dubious.
“You’ll get there eventually,” Finn said sagely, smoothing a hand over Thor’s head. “When you fall in love and realize you’ve got to deal with all your baggage to be good for someone else.”
When the hell had Finn become so wise? I supposed it didn’t really matter. I agreed with him wholeheartedly. The change was painful. Facing the truths about who I was and who I wanted to be was a challenge. But the more effort I put into it, the less terrifying it was. Because she was here. And I’d be an idiot if I didn’t do everything I could to earn a second chance.
“How’s the festival planning going?” I pointed at Cole with my beer. After a year of lying on my mom’s couch, drinking and getting high, he’d been forced to do court-mandated community service. Turned out that community service entailed being in charge of reviving the town festival.
He was a good kid. Messed up and in need of direction, but well-intentioned. I was worried about him, but every day, he was improving.
His face brightened. “Good, actually. We’ve signed on some big sponsors, and I’ve got the permits all set. Now I’m working on recruiting vendors.”
“Nice.” Finn held out his beer bottle and Cole tapped his against it.
“Long way to go, but I think we’ll pull it off.”
“We’re here to help you,” Jude said.
I nodded in agreement. Cole was the youngest and technically my half-brother. I was eleven when my parents divorced and dad married Cole’s mom. Growing up, he was around, and my mother had done more for him than his own had. But there was a strange separation between him and the rest of us. He’d always been Dad’s favorite—the hockey star, the untouchable kid who got everything he ever wanted.
I’d resented him for a long time, but it had recently become clear just how much he’d suffered too. So I was working on it. Engaging with him, supporting him, and giving him the same brotherly support and care I gave the other four bozos. I was the oldest brother; it was my job to make sure they were all okay.
