“You waiting for a tussle? Good luck, mate.”
“Don’t go up there unless you want a lesson from Miss Manners.”
“It’s not worth it. You’ll lose your wits.”
“Better girls at The Pit.”
The two youths went off into the night, leaving Bandit at the base of the vine. Sensibel was up there alright. She could turn a man into a puddle of want with just one of her sighs.
Scuffling in the leaves on the stream bank, a corpulent raccoon hauled himself panting and wheezing up onto the patio.
“You there! Stand before me so I can see you.”
A male of the highest rank: middle-aged, successful, accustomed to being obeyed. The two youths hadn’t outgrown their juvenile years and probably never would. This one carried his many years evenly like rings on his tail. Bandit began counting the rings …
“Issue forth, I say. Nothing to fear. I’m off duty. Out on the town.”
Bandit shuffled into the open to be sniffed.
“Oh, sorry old chap! Thought you were the doorman. What’s the action up there?”
“I don’t know, sir. I haven’t been up yet.”
“Well, I hear Lockjaw’s got a real pistol.”
“I believe so, sir. Yes. She’s a pistol.”
“I’ll go up and give her a shot.”
“Good luck, sir.” No hindering this male. Anyway, he wasn’t Sensibel’s type, and she could look after herself.
It wasn’t until the personage had disappeared, puffing and groaning over the lip of the roof, that Bandit noticed another raccoon watching him. “Who are you?”
“Bodyguard to His Worship.”
The bodyguards at Sensibella’s betrothal ceremony were just decoration compared to this dude. He was the real thing. Instead of counting rings, Bandit counted scars.
“Nice soft night, sir!”
“Yes – yes, it is.” Bandit was flustered. The bodyguard had called him “sir.” In the frequent exchanges he’d had in the city, no one had been interested in his social rank. He had no social rank. But the off-duty judge whom the bodyguard referred to as “His Worship” had treated him as if he was of high social standing.
“Tell me, what does His Worship do in the city besides administer the Customs?”
“You mean the Judge that you didn’t see just now going up the vine for a roll?”
“I didn’t see anybody.”
“Why, he’s a City Father. I’m surprised you don’t know that, sir, if I may say so.”
“Never saw him before.”
“Quite right, sir.”
“I’d like to speak with him again briefly. Do you think it’s alright if I go up?”
“So long as you don’t barge in on his transaction. His Honour needs to feel what it was like when he was young and went a-courting – if you know what I mean.” The bodyguard winked.
Bandit knew. He’d heard lots of advertisement for escorts on the net. For a price, they’d go out on a date with you, make you feel like a total alpha. For a further price they’d play-tussle. Nothing consequential. Most of the women in the City were set in their non-fertile phase because of the pressure of population. Sensibel had been put on the market as a party girl and didn’t know it.
“Forget you saw him.”
“I already have.” Bandit walked across the flagstone patio and began climbing the vine. He found himself on rooftop pasture still damp from the rain. Tall meadow grass with buttercups and daisies on their long stems swinging in the moist, warm breeze vented by a fan. Shiny black panels cooled in the night air. It was Sensibella’s kind of place – a paradise gone to seed. Voices came from a glass house at the far end of the roof. He tiptoed through the meadow to listen. The glass house had once been used for nurturing plants, but now only a vine pushed its way to freedom through a pane that remained open. He crouched beside the window, making sure his ears didn’t show.
“Is she not worth a whole brewery, Your Worship? I promise you, you won’t find a more promising girl in any of my houses of transaction.”
“That is certainly the case,” the Judge’s voice boomed, “since your ladies have more fleas than a donkey’s armpit. In fact, the chief transaction of your houses is the transmission of mites together with the diseases they carry, the abatement of which cost the City’s physicians in time and effort. It is a surprise you don’t sell Distemper by the bottle! Doubtless, you’ll recompense the City Public Health Department by actually paying your taxes for once this summer. Otherwise, I’ll close you down for good.”
“Oh, mustn’t do that, milord. Once you have sampled the lady, you’ll want to keep my service open forever.”
“That remains to be seen. Your name, fair one?”
“Name? What gentleman is so wanting in manners as to demand a name without the other first introducing herself through story? If name be needed, name me Nullia, because my freedom of the City is null and void, having been stolen from me by this poxy bawd.”
“Shut your muzzle, dearie. Else I’ll have ye on worms for a week.”
“Worms! Indeed you know aplenty about worms, since your habituation to wigglies has made your lips go numb. And your man’s refusal thereof has caused his jaws to clamp shut. He’s afraid to open them lest you pop another worm in his mouth, to join the Infusion already in his swollen belly.”
“I beg yer ladyship’s pardon, I’m sure.”
