The only thing I got was a picture of a fake person. And a terrifying creature.
Who is Mack?
Maybe he realized what happened. Maybe he knows what he sent me.
Or maybe he just never really gave a fuck about me the way I gave a fuck about him.
That part seems more likely.
Suddenly, I don’t care so much about whether or not he’s some kind of fish creature. My perspective has shifted again, crystal clear.
There are only a few things that matter in this world. Mack was a kind person. Someone who told corny jokes. A guy with a big tank, whatever he might be using it for. And he was nice to me. He liked me for more than my looks.
That’s who Mack is.
And the feeling of missing him is deeper and darker than any feeling I’ve ever had in my whole entire life.
Fuck! I shove my hands in my hair and then pick up my phone again.
Jules: Mack is gone. He left the forum.
Kate: What?! Not our fish guy? Fish guy left under suspicious circumstances after sending you suspicious pictures? No . . . shock of the century.
Jules: It’s not funny. I think I was starting to really like him. I don’t know what to do.
Kate: Go to his house. The fact that you know where he lives is actually huge information. Tell him he can’t just abandon you like that. You’re a person too! You have feelings.
A knock on the door has me jumping almost an entire mile.
My heart races. Who the fuck is knocking at my door?
I sit completely still. I don’t answer my door as a general rule unless I know it’s my mother or Kate. Not even my mother, really.
No one else is allowed. I even include specific notes on my deliveries never to knock. I tell them I have a heart condition.
Seconds tick by, and then I relax again. The knocker must be gone by now.
I pick up my phone to text Kate back when the sound occurs again.
Shit. Go the fuck away already! No one’s welcome here.
Another knock, again and again. Then a voice.
“Jules? Hey, Jules. It’s George. From the coffee shop. Can you open up? Or just let me know you’re here. I’m worried about you.”
George? Holy shit.
I clamber to the door and open it just as wide as my chain lock will allow.
“What do you want?” I ask through the space in between the door.
“You haven’t been by for coffee in days. I was worried something happened to you.”
Something has happened to me. My whole life has happened to me! But how do you explain that to a kind, near stranger who is only trying to treat you like every other normal human in the world?
“Are you doing okay?” he asks.
I clear my throat. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Can you leave now?”
But he doesn’t. “I don’t mean to bother you. Do you have family or anything? Someone who checks in on you regularly?”
Family. What a question.
“I gotta go, George. Thanks though,” I say and close the door in his face, each lock dully clacking as the lugs flip.
The more people in my life, the more likely they are to let me down. The padlock secures my door. I stare at it. Nothing on the outside is coming in. Nothing on the inside is going out. But George’s voice, his very presence, the act of interrupting my life without me asking. It has me slightly shaken.
I flip around, and right away, the sparkling rectangular aquarium at the side of the room catches my eyes. Bubbles flitter up. Water pushes down. Up and down and up and down. I breathe in and out and in and out.
Mack’s disappearance has me feeling powerless. And there’s nothing scarier than the thought of losing your own power. Especially when you barely had any to begin with. What would my old therapist say?
A realization slams into me.
I’ve been doing this whole thing wrong. Mack might have cut me out, but Kate is right about one thing. I know where he lives. And that kind of knowledge is power. And then, I get an idea.
Chapter 6
It’s two p.m. I’ve been waiting by my front door for three hours. Sitting. Listening. Biding my time.
