Hours later I combined zolpidem and Xanax in flight…his decision to sign the contract finally stopped looping through my head somewhere over the North Atlantic.
By the time we landed and the shuttle service delivered me to my apartment it was eight a.m. in Zurich; two in the morning in my lobby. I was wide awake while The City that Never Sleeps slept. Ethan had been due home the day before. I slid the key in our lock. Let him sleep or let all hell break loose? Per usual the Manhattan glow illuminated our apartment interior. Our bedroom door was open and the bed still made. I snapped on the lamp, then backtracked until I spotted another Ethan note on the foyer table.
Emma,
Since my news is big and I DO NO WANT TO FIGHT, I’m being a coward and putting it in writing. I’ve rented a room from Nicole Messina, from my first season. It’s on the South Orange border, close to IHHS. No commute. I’ve left most of my stuff. Right now I need space to think and de-stress. E.
I thumb dialled his cell phone. “Really, Ethan? De-stress? Yes, you’re too much of a coward to face me. You should have thought of not fighting before you and Julian schemed behind my back with those baseball interviews. California! You took the job! You have twenty-four hours to get your files, sweats, grimy baseball caps, and the rest of your crap out of here before I stuff it all down the trash chutes.”
I hung up. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I paced from foyer to kitchen, to living room and into the bedroom. Oh my God. Two hours later while shafts of city light illuminated my cold tea and Pride and Prejudice on the coffee table, the key turned in the lock. I scrubbed my sleeve over my face as Ethan entered. “How could you do this? Somewhere along the way, you obviously put down a deposit, then moved out while I was gone.”
“I meant what I wrote. I need to de-stress. I can’t cross the street without you accusing me of having some woman on the other side. My guts are in an uproar. I can’t sleep. Even when you’re here you’re not here.”
“You know the pressure I’m under!”
“I know you’re totally tuned out. Or tuned in to all things Petrenko for damn sure.” He snatched up the Jane Austen.
“Be careful!”
“Right. God forbid something happens to his thirty-thousand-dollar gift. I’m not here to rehash your rant. I couldn’t understand half of it except you and your idol sit around dissecting my life. What’s to deny? I swore I wasn’t going get into this. I’m here to pick up my ‘damn crap’ and papers before you trash them.”
“Ethan, I wouldn’t—”
He dropped the book on the couch and entered our office. He returned carrying files. “I have to get to work. So you know, I’ll honour my Iron Hills contract, finish my season, and watch my seniors’ graduate. My Jacoby job starts next fall.”
“I can’t believe you’d plan it with Julian behind my back.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about. You made this move-to-New York decision; I made the San Francisco one. Yes, it’s huge. I knew you’d blow up on a phone call, so I flew home early to explain in person. Only you decide to take two extra days with Julian. I’ve been waiting until you got back from Zurich-fucking-Switzerland, to explain.”
“Hearing you lie about the offer is worse than Julian telling me you would. You know you planned this together. You know he arranged those interviews.”
“That’s bullshit. Paul Jacoby has nothing to do with Petrenko.” He slammed the door as he left.
“Didn’t you just get off a plane?” Dustin entered my office late that morning. “You could have stayed home and slept in.” I turned from the window. “It’s been a damned confusing trip. Loose ends. Weird personal crap. I left Julian’s house well before my flight. I insisted. Zurich ended under very strained circumstances. I’m confused and pissed. Really pissed.”
“It shows.”
“I’m trying not to obsess, but I made him very defensive. Not a good thing. Mayfair’s launch success hinges on a zillion elements, including my clear-headed guidance. I absolutely cannot screw up anything for any reason. Now he tells me next week I have to be in LA with him. Hopefully it’ll get us on track but I need some control out there. This morning I arranged a meeting for him with Mercury Artist Agency and Axel White. They haven’t met directly since we closed the deal.”
“Head of the gig. Good thinking.”
“I’ve confirmed it with Julian’s assistant.”
“Are you and Julian in the midst of some lovers’ quarrel?”
“Dustin?”
“It’s a logical assumption, especially since you’ve just referred to his house.”
“Don’t hang an affair on me because I’m frigging female. It’s not sexual. It’s a damn watch and baseball business cards.”
“Oh, well that explains it.”
It felt good to laugh, even as I explained Julian’s request and discovery of Paul Jacoby’s card. “He loves to impress in his overtly understated British way. You know that. Flies me to his practically private getaway. Interviews me in his suite complete with art tour and tea from a sterling silver service. Been there; done that. So why not this time just have Security hand me his watch at the desk?”
“I’d say because he wanted you in his suite, going through his drawers. Maybe the place is wired and he wanted to see how impeccably honest you are.”
“Good God, Dustin.”
“Kidding! You’re over thinking it.”
“Am I? The worst part was the end of my Zurich visit. He had no idea Ethan hadn’t told me about his—Julian’s—connection to the coaching jobs. I feel manipulated by both of them. And trust me, I’ve had plenty of experience with that.”
“You’re turning pale on me, Emma. This is out of character. Don’t hyperventilate.”
“I’m okay.”
“You’re not.”
He walked me to my desk. “You need to go home. No argument. I’m the Stanford debate champ, remember? We’re totally under control here. Don’t make me call Ethan.”
I closed my eyes against my racing pulse, and sweaty palms.
“Ethan left me. I got home at two a.m. to a fucking note.”
Rather than lose it completely, I promised not to keep Dustin in the dark and left. Twenty minutes later I opened my apartment door to Misha Baskin stuffing Ethan’s baseball caps into one of his backpacks.
“Emma! I’m just… Ethan said you’d be at work all day.”
