strangers
I am – what – to you?
A name, a number on your list of
tenants to hurry up that day – a chore, a task – I heard
that in your tone –
I murmured only,
it’s not your fault this caught me – I…
You were chewing gum, as if you knew.
What? You said.
I told you that I hadn’t signed on purpose.
On purpose? You said hardening your
voice.
I heard a shift like you were putting me on
speakerphone,
I muttered something about Goodlord,
linguistic insult… pointlessness,
it’s capitalism on capitalism, Ava! I implored.
Not my best, I know, I know – but if you’d only
waited.
You laughed, distractedly,
were making faces for your colleagues – I could feel it.
We’re getting deep now, you said sarcastically.
Deep, Ava?
Deep?
I was sick with it. The word.
My voice was very small – you interrupted,
sounding bored,
told me to make the account and sign the
document
and hung up on me.
The anger flooded in immediately.
An ocean turning on a fishing boat – roiling,
rising, preparing
to engulf…
Oh, I’ve been pacing.
Oh, I’ve been balling up my hands.
Clenching, Ava.
Oh, I’ve been breathing quick.
Can barely hold it – this – what? – Excitement’s
terrible twin
