It took me a moment to remember how to send a message. I sent one to Celia before turning my attention back to her. “What would you like me to tell you, pet?”
“The truth, for starters.” She crossed her arms, looking so adorably put out that I felt myself beginning to calm down. “Would it help?”
I closed my eyes, searching for the correct lie, but I couldn’t bring myself to be dishonest with her. Was this another one of her weird tricks? First, I couldn’t compel her, and now I struggled to answer her questions? “Yes,” I muttered when I failed to come up with an excuse. “It would help.”
“And I’m willing,” she said, her voice thick. She cleared her throat and recommitted to her offer. “You can feed on me. I want you to.”
One honest answer would stop this, but it would have consequences. It was the only answer I could find that would keep her safe. However, I seemed to be out of choices. “Has it occurred to you,” I seethed, “that I don’t want to feed on you?”
Thea’s shoulders slumped, but she fought to hold her ground. “You won’t feed on me!”
“I don’t…want…to!” I roared.
She cringed away, beginning to shake. This time she couldn’t hold back her tears. She reached up and wiped them away. “You don’t mean that.”
But she no longer sounded sure of herself.
Mission accomplished, but the victory was hollow. I’d made her doubt how much I wanted to feed from her. I couldn’t risk explaining more to her without revealing that I didn’t want to feed on her because I knew I would never be able to stop. One taste would never be enough. I heard her blood singing, and I’d lived too long to pretend I’d be able to control myself once I started. It would end just as my fantasy had. And I would never forgive myself if I killed her.
“I’m nine hundred years old,” I continued coldly. “Do you think one night with a woman is enough to make her irresistible to me?”
It was the question I was asking myself. It didn’t make sense. But blood-lust rarely made sense. That was why I couldn’t give in to it. I wouldn’t be a slave to the vampire inside me. Not now. Not after all this time.
Her lower lip trembled, but Thea was strong. She would move past this, and if she didn’t, it might be better for both of us in the end. My mother had made it clear I would not get out of finding and marrying a wife this year. So how could I use Thea like that? Keeping her wouldn’t just be selfish. It would be foolish. How many more times would she offer her veins to me? Perhaps, it was best if I ended this now.
Thea did it first. “Fuck you, Julian.”
I didn’t go after her as she walked out my bedroom door. It slammed shut behind her, and I stayed by the nightstand, holding my phone. It buzzed with some type of bloody alert, but I didn’t dare look down at the screen. I wanted to go after her. I couldn’t risk even the slightest movement. Not until she was gone.
Minutes ticked by, and finally, Celia found me still standing next to the bed.
“Julian,” she said my name carefully. “I got your text.”
I didn’t dare blink, but I allowed myself to ask her, “Is Thea gone?”
“I put her in a car as you requested,” she said. “The driver will see her home.”
“Is the driver a vampire?” I asked through a clenched jaw.
“He’s human. In thrall to one of Sebastian’s men,” she said. “She’ll be completely safe.”
I relaxed, feeling the weight of self-control slip off my shoulders. But while there was physical relief, the desire remained.
“Can I get you something?” Celia asked. We’d been together long enough for her to know when something was wrong. It had to be obvious now.
“Blood,” I gritted out, “from the vein.”
She lifted one silver eyebrow but made no comment. “Give me a few moments.”
Celia disappeared to call one of the family’s cortege. Like most of the older lines of vampires, we kept a collection of humans who volunteered to serve as walking blood donors. They received help or protection, and we always had fresh blood. Willing humans could always be found. I wasn’t a fan of the practice, but sometimes circumstances called for unwanted solutions.
A half-hour later, she ushered a petite brunette into the room. The woman was young and stood only a few inches taller than Thea. Her features were delicate and pale, as well. She was pretty, even, but not as beautiful as Thea. My eyes flashed angrily to Celia. I knew what my assistant was up to.
“I thought perhaps you might need the other kind of satisfaction.” Her face remained composed, as if to point out that–unlike me–she was in control. “She’s willing to see to all of your needs.”
The woman watched me with wide eyes from across the room. They skirted over my frame as if trying to decide if she’d made a mistake. But then her tongue darted over her lower lip. She dropped into a curtsy. “I am at your service, Lord Rousseaux.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes, shooting another barbed look at Celia. “Did you tell her to say that?”
“That is how Lord Sebastian likes to be addressed when we…” She flushed, her cheeks turning a promising shade of red.
“I am not Lord Rousseaux,” I corrected her. I beckoned her to straighten up.
She did, blinking at me in confusion. “But you are the eldest son, and that means you are next in line to be head of the family.”
All of these things were true. I just wasn’t sure why a member of our cortège knew so much about the inner workings of vampire politics. And right now, I didn’t care. “You can go,” I said to Celia. I would speak with her later about her suggestion.
She tilted her head, saying nothing as she left.
I circled the brunette. She swallowed and reached for the buttons of her shirt.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
She paused. “Getting undressed.”
“That’s unnecessary,” I said dryly. Even without feeding, my blood-lust had ebbed away. Only hunger lingered. I wagged a finger at her. Slipping off one of my gloves, I held my other hand out. She placed her own in my palm, wrist up. At least, she was well-trained.
“You may use your fangs,” she said as I brushed my index finger over her wrist. “Anywhere you would like.”
