Molly: It was more the timing … We broke up RIGHT before covid
Molly: So i’ve been alone, basking in my own charming company for four months
Molly: And as much as I pride myself on being a self-sufficient introvert curmudgeon, it turns out that I like human companionship
Molly: Also sex. Could have done with some sex to pass the time
SEX? Not to be a teenage boy about it, but SHE SAID SEX???
Seth: There’s always cam boys
Molly: Who needs cam boys when dick pics are free?
Oh my God, she went there? I suddenly feel like I’m punching above my weight class in terms of escalating flirtation. But I try to reply as blithely as possible.
Seth: There is indeed a robust dick pic economy
Seth: Something to console myself with on the lonely nights to come
Molly: Receiving dick pics?
Seth: Distributing them
Molly: I do not for one second believe you have ever sent a dick pic
Seth: I have
Seth: Only tastefully and upon request
Molly: I zero percent believe you
Seth: Why?
Molly: Because you’re like a civilized courtly gentleman from 1849
I no longer feel like a teenage boy. I feel like an adult man with an absolutely rock-hard erection. And if Molly thinks I don’t know how to sext, she has failed to understand the concept of “gentleman in the streets, freak in the sheets,” despite having witnessed me embodying it in real life.
So I am going to remind her.
Seth: That’s not what you said when I came on your tits
There is not immediately a response bubble to indicate she’s typing, and I instantly worry that I offended her. I bite my lip, stressed-out, as she finally begins replying.
Molly: LOL
Molly: That doesn’t count. You were drunk and i took advantage of your impaired sense of decency
Oh, girl, it is on.
Seth: My cock didn’t see it that way
Seth: Three times
Molly: You counted
Seth: Fuck yeah I counted
Seth: Still think about you when I jerk off
Seth: All beautiful and wet and whimpering my name
Molly: Do i make you come?
Seth: So fucking fast
Seth: Except when I edge it out so I can think about you longer
Molly: How hard are you right now?
Seth: So. Fucking. Hard.
Molly: Prove it
I’m stone-cold sober but I feel drunk. I open my jeans. Pull them off. My dick is already poking out of my boxer briefs, wet at the tip. I position myself so that she gets a little bit of my abs along with my cock, because I’m a generous man.
I take a moment to switch to black-and-white mode before snapping a pic, because I was not lying about being classy when distributing homemade pornography.
I hit send.
