I frowned at him then continued to talk. “Unbelievable! What? Smoke with you? Are you serious? Jason! You have been lying to me since day one and you want me to sit down and smoke? Naw, that’s not gonna happen. See that dope you had hid all in my bedroom? It’s down the toilet!” He didn’t respond so I kept going. “And those guns you got all in the closet, you need to grab them up and get them out of here now! I’m not playing, Jay. That’s foul what you did! You know how dangerous that is? Leaving dope, money, and guns up in here? The boys were playing with those guns you left in here!” I began pacing. “What if they would have gotten hurt, huh? You didn’t think about that!”
I stared at him, waiting patiently for him to give me an answer or explanation or something, but he didn’t. He just sat there. Eventually then Jason put the blunt down and looked at me.
“You flushed my product down the what? You must be out yo’ mind. You know how much money you just wasted? Huh?” He laughed. “Wait ’til I tell Kev this one! You flushed it.” He picked up the weed, puffed, and watched the smoke go in the air and shook his head.
I walked away and mumbled under my breath, “This doesn’t make any sense. You so stupid.”
Up to this point of the conversation I had never seen Jason flip all the way out. He didn’t react while I was fussing. He just sat listening to me and smoking his blunt. But when Jason heard me call him stupid, it must have made something in him snap.
He got up off the couch and grabbed me as I went by him. He pulled me on to the couch by my arms. I tried to fight him back but it was useless. He was too strong for me. He then threw me down and got on top of me. It happened so fast and he was so big and powerful. I couldn’t move or get out of his grip. He was squeezing my arms tightly.
“Stop, Jason! Stop!” I screamed as loud as I could and then he put his hand over my mouth to quiet me. Next he did the unthinkable. He pulled a gun out by where his ankle was and put it to my temple. He took his hand and uncovered my mouth. I gasped for air and began to cough.
“You see this? This is dangerous.” Jason was serious as he stared in my eyes, letting me know not to disrespect him again.
I never opened my mouth. I understood what he was saying. Tears began to well up in my eyes and then fell down my cheeks as I felt the cold, hard metal against my flesh. I realized I was in a situation I didn’t know how to get out of. Even though I hadn’t called on my Heavenly Father in quite some time, I began to because that was all I knew to do, given the circumstance.
Jesus, please help me! I prayed. My heart was racing and I thought about my sons up the stairs, sleeping. I prayed to God that they wouldn’t come down and see what was happening. Jesus, I am begging you to please cover my sons in the blood of Jesus! I screamed in my head; then all of a sudden I felt a peace come in the room, and I knew that after walking away from God, He was still there when I needed Him.
“You understand me, Reese? I know what dangerous is and this is dangerous.” He repositioned the gun to my temple and cocked the gun. I closed my eyes, thinking he was going to pull the trigger.
“Don’t worry about nothin’ I bring in this house. I won’t let it hurt you or yo’ sons. You understand me?” His voice was deep and cold with no love in it. All I could do was hope I would live to see another day.
“And I should smack you for flushin’ that coke! That was twenty grand! What’s wrong wit’ you? ” He pushed me to the floor and I lay there crying, and shivering.
Jason sat on the couch and smoked his blunt while he watched me cry on the floor ’til he finished his blunt. He got up and put the gun back where it was, went to the closet, grabbed his coat, and went out the front door. I heard him turn his car alarm off, then shut the door and pull off.
I stayed on the floor, balled up, crying, but could hear my son Michael coming down the stairs. I hurried and wiped my eyes so he wouldn’t see me cry.
“Mommy, where did Jason go?” Michael asked.
“Out, he will be right back.” I sniffed.
I had decided right then to send the boys to their father’s. I wanted them to be out of my home until I knew what to do about Jay.
When Jason and I first started dating Jason was their hero.
Up until now I had no idea that Jason would ever harm me, but now, as I had to pick myself up off the floor, I realized I was so wrong about him. I tried to reason with myself that he was just demonstrating what dangerous was, but it wasn’t working. There was no reason for him to ever put a gun to my head. I knew better than that. I knew he was indeed dangerous. People didn’t just put guns to others’ heads to show how dangerous it was. That didn’t happen unless you were indeed dangerous.
I put Michael on my lap and kissed him on his cheek. “I love you, baby. You know Mommy loves you don’t you?” I said, smiling at him.
“Yes, Mommy. I love you too.” He grabbed my cheeks softly and kissed my lips. My heart melted when he did that.
“It’s time for you to go to bed, Michael, you have to go to school in the morning.”
“Okay, Mommy,” he replied, putting his arms out so I could pick him up.
I did and took him to his room to lay him in his bed, and I was still trembling from what Jason had done. I looked around the room my sons shared, which was filled with every kind of toy and game imaginable for children. I looked at the SpongeBob décor, smiled, and laid Michael in his bed. I gave him another kiss, this time on the cheek, then went over to the baby’s bed and kissed him and covered him up.
Michael whispered, “Mommy?”
I turned around. “Yes, son?”
“You forgot to pray with me.”
Even though I didn’t pray like I should have, I still made sure my babies talked to God every night before going to bed. I walked over to his bed and got on my knees and begin to pray with my son.
“Jesus, we love you, Lord, and no matter how far we seem to get from you in our lives, please cover us, love us, and protect us always, in Jesus’ name.”
I rose off the ground and Michael sat up with all smiles. “Michael, you have to go to sleep, you have school tomorrow, baby.”
“Mommy, you forgot to say amen. That’s all, Mommy, just amen.”
I chuckled. “Amen.”
I laughed, turned off their light and watched the nightlight glow on their wall. I then closed the door behind me.
As soon as I walked out of the room, I saw Jason standing right there in the hallway, watching. When I noticed him, I stopped in my tracks. My heart was beating a mile a minute, wondering what he was going to do to me next.
He walked up to me and I tried to back away, then I put my hands over my face for protection, thinking he was going to hurt me, but he didn’t. He grabbed me, put both his hands around my upper arms and pulled me close. He hugged me and kissed me on my lips.
Tears streamed down my face. I was so confused. Not even an hour ago this man had a Ruger, to my temple.
“Reese, we all right? You wit’ me?” Jason said.
I closed my eyes and wept as I prayed that everything would be all right.
Chapter 9
