We manage to snatch a shady spot under a tree, which works out better than the donut shop would. At least here, there aren’t a lot of people nearby to eavesdrop on our conversation.
“So, why do you think Mr. Walsh failed us like that?” Josh asks, and I groan to myself.
He had to bring up the man I’m trying to forget.
I shrug, ignoring the sharp pain in my chest. “Because he’s a jerk?”
“I don’t know. This is my third year at DuBose, and not once have I heard anyone say he was a douchebag, despite his colorful past.”
“Colorful past?” I ask with a smirk.
Josh makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You know, his child acting past. He’s known to be a serious and fair teacher, so I got totally blindsided by his attitude today.”
“Well, at least he let us resend the assignment.”
Why are you defending him, Chiara?
“Yeah, there’s that. So, are you going to tell me the real reason you were crying earlier?”
I tense on the spot, my spine turning as rigid as a board. “I already told you. I was homesick.”
Josh touches my knee, making me look at him. “Chiara, I know we’ve just met, but you can trust me, okay? If someone did something to you that you didn’t want them to, you can tell me. I won’t judge, but I’ll kick his ass.”
Dio Santo. I think Josh suspects someone sexually assaulted me. Well, someone did kiss me, but it was something I more than welcomed, even if later I regretted my weakness.
I cover his hand with mine and smile feebly.
“Thanks, Josh. I do appreciate your concern. Don’t worry. It wasn’t anything like that.”
Relief washes over his face. I think this time he believes me. Good. I couldn’t have him worrying like that.
“Do you have a boyfriend back home?” he asks.
Uh-oh. Dangerous territory. It never bodes well when a guy asks if you have a boyfriend. I don’t owe Alistair anything, so there’s nothing keeping me from finding a new guy, but Josh is one of the good ones. I can’t string him along while I’m pining for someone else.
“Yes and no. It’s complicated.”
“Oh.”
I hear the disappointment in Josh’s voice, which makes me feel bad for my half-truth.
Trust me, Josh. You want to stay far away from this train wreck here.
“I met him in Tuscany last July. It was supposed to be a summer fling, you know, but it evolved into something more.”
“Ah, I see. Now you’re here and he’s back in Italy, I assume?”
I almost reveal part of the truth that Alistair lives in LA. But Josh is too smart, and he would be able to connect the dots in no time. So I lie.
“Yes.”
“Well, that sucks. But long-distance relationships can work.”
“He’s married,” I blurt and then lower my gaze, cursing my big mouth. “I mean, he’s separated, but he’s still officially married. I feel betrayed in a sense, and also dirty. I’m not a home-wrecker.”
Josh doesn’t say anything for a long time, and when I look up, I catch him staring out in the distance.
“Josh, are you still here with me?”
He shakes his head and looks at me. “Yes, of course. I was just thinking about what you said. I don’t think you should feel that way. You didn’t know he was married at the time, and he’s separated. A piece of paper linking him and his wife doesn’t really mean much. The most important connection”—he points at my heart—“is what should matter. Do you love him?”
Wow. That was deep shit from an eighteen-year-old dude. I know I’m in love with Alistair, but do I love him? Those two feelings are not necessarily the same thing. How can you love someone you don’t know?
“My legs turn into jelly, and I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. I think I’m in love with him, which is super crazy. We only spent a weekend together.”
“No, not crazy at all. I believe true love happens like that, suddenly, devastatingly.”
I pay close attention to Josh. “You sound like you speak from personal experience.”
“Not my personal experience. My parents. Their story is not so different than yours. They met when they were in Spain on a month-long trip to learn the language. They said it was love at first sight. The funny thing is they lived their entire lives only a few blocks from each other. They even went to the same high school. But they had to travel across the ocean to find each other and fall in love.”
“That’s a beautiful story, Josh. You should turn it into a movie.”
“Maybe I will. Although, I have no desire to make sappy movies a la Nicholas Sparks.”
“Shut up. I love The Notebook.”
He chuckles. “Sure. You love Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.”
