God, what would have happened if I hadn’t decided to act recklessly and come see her tonight?

There’s a water bottle on her nightstand already. I help her swallow the pills and then try to get her as comfortable as possible.

“Alistair?” she croaks.

“Yes, honey?”

“Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

I kiss the top of her head. “Nothing could pry me away from you, Goldi. Now sleep. You need to rest.”

“Okay.”

I don’t move from my spot by the edge of her bed until Chiara’s breathing becomes even. Once I’m sure she’s asleep, I head back in the living room to grab some pillows and then return to her bedroom to make a makeshift bed for myself on the floor. I could take the couch, but that would be too far from her; I don’t want her to wake up in the middle of the night and think I’ve left.

I stare at the ceiling, but sleep eludes me. It’s not only worry about Chiara that’s keeping me wide awake. I’m thinking about my life and what I truly want out of it. Being reminded about Jamie today brought things into perspective for me.

I knew what I felt for Chiara was bigger, more powerful than anything I had experienced before, but fear made me push her away.

Not anymore.

27

Alistair

The sound of soft feet near my head wakes me. My vision is blurry, and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. Then I see her face, hovering over mine like a golden angel.

I lean on my elbows. “Chiara, you shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“You spent the night… on the floor.”

I rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the last vestiges of sleepy fog. “Yeah. I was afraid you’d need me during the night.”

“You should have taken the couch.”

“How are you feeling?” I reach for her forehead to check her temperature, but she leans back and away from my hand.

“I feel fine.”

She’s leery of me. Perhaps she doesn’t remember much of last night. Not that I had the chance to tell her why I came.

I sit up and touch her arm before she can move farther back. “You scared me, Goldi.”

Her delicate eyebrows furrow. “Why? It was just a fever.”

“You passed out. It wasn’t simply just a fever. If anything had happened to you….”

“What? Why do you care?”

“God, Chiara, I’ve been a mess since you left me alone in that hotel room in Italy. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.”

“You haven’t?” Her reply is like a soft breeze.

“No, Goldilocks. I haven’t.”

I loop my arm around her tiny waist and bring her onto my lap. Her plump lips are inches from mine now. She doesn’t flinch or try to move; instead, she keeps her bright blue eyes glued to mine. I slide my fingers into her hair, curling them around a golden lock, and shorten the distance between us so I can taste her sweet mouth.

When our tongues clash, the simmering fire in the pit of my stomach becomes a blaze so intense it’s almost impossible to restrain myself. I bring her body flush against mine, deepening the kiss. She melts against my frame, waking everything male in me.

Chiara pulls back too soon and stares at me with hooded eyes and flushed cheeks. “Alistair, what does this mean? What about your job?”

“I don’t care about my job, or my ongoing divorce. I had an epiphany last night, sweetheart. I know it sounds crazy, and I have way too much baggage, but I need you in my life, Chiara. I need you.”

“As a convenient booty call?”

Frowning, I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Never. You’re not a booty call. You never were.”

Chiara drops her gaze and shudders. Pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger, I bring her face up. Tears have formed in her eyes, turning the blue in them even brighter.

“Goldilocks, why are you crying?”

“Because I’m so in love with you, I can’t stand it. I’m afraid that if this turns out to be just a meaningless affair to you, I’ll shatter to pieces.”

Her confession sucks the air out of my lungs. “You’re in love with me?”

She covers her face with her hands. “Cazzo! I can’t believe I just blurted that out. I’m such a mess.”

I pull her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. “I’m a mess too, Goldi.”

I want to confess that I’ve fallen for her as well, but the words get lodged in my throat. I’ve only said the L-word to two people in my entire life: my first crush when I was thirteen and Nadine. I’m afraid the word has lost its meaning to me. Or I’m just too fucking afraid to blurt it out and curse us.

I kiss her again, harder and deeper. I want to brand her, or maybe I just want to show her how much she means to me.

Without breaking our kiss, I get up with her still in my arms and then set her at the edge of the mattress. I take a step back and drink her in to make sure she’s well enough for what I have in mind.

“Where are you going?”

“I need a moment to take in the sight of you.”

She finger-combs her hair. “I must look hideous.”

“Impossible. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Chiara.”

She twists her face into a grimace. “Your ex-wife is gorgeous.”

I wish she hadn’t brought up that snake.

“Goldilocks, let me make something very clear to you. Nadine is nothing to me. You’re a thousand times smarter—” I kiss her nose., “—sexier—” I kiss her neck. “—and prettier than her. Plus, you taste fucking delicious.” I claim her mouth like a starved man.