Awww, Bo!! Your concern for my well-being is so touching! Now I’m really sad I put back that “World’s Best Boss” mug I almost got you at the airport!
I’ll pay your dry-cleaning bill.
And I’m sorry you got slimed.
Although I know Dr. Lewis’s collection pretty well, and those aren’t sea monsters. They’re attempts at re-creating dragons on a small scale using lizards.
Obviously not a successful experiment in the end.
Anyway.
(Not slime is the point I’m making, more a mix of saline and I think amniotic fluid.)
(Not magic slime, just normal human organic stuff.)
(If that makes you feel better?)
Hello?
Sorry. Everything about that series of text messages sent me into some kind of fugue state.
I am a different person now than I was before I read any of that. I was so much younger just two minutes ago. So innocent. So unknowing.
Ha-ha.
I love texting with you, Bowen, truly. It’s either like talking to a GPS or it’s full-on campfire shit, nothing in between.
“The artifact is located in the northeast quadrant of the home.”
“DID YOU KNOW THESE MAGICAL THUMBSCREWS ONCE WENT ON A THUMBSCREWING RAMPAGE IN 15TH CENTURY BELGIUM?”
Really wish you would’ve rephrased “thumbscrewing.”
Big words from Mr. It’ll Surely Make Tamsyn Feel Better to Learn She Is Currently Covered in Amniotic Fluid and the Remnants of Frankenstein Lizards.
When you put it like that, I can see where I fucked up.
THANK YOU.
(Still not going back for that mug.)
November
TamOShanter: Why are you awake and online at 3 in the morning?
BGPCymru: Working
TamOShanter: I figured that. On what?
BGPCymru: Spellwork. Boring, trust me.
BGPCymru: What time is it where you are?
TamOShanter: I’m home right now, so a little after ten p.m.
BGPCymru: You have a home?
BGPCymru: Sorry, that sounded rude. I just meant that I always picture you in motion.
BGPCymru: Traveling, I don’t picture you moving.
BGPCymru: Like your body, I don’t picture that.
TamOShanter: Exactly what every girl longs to hear!
TamOShanter: And I know you’re over there typing out a long response to this that is just digging the hole deeper and deeper, so let me spare you from that and tell you that I knew what you meant, I am absolutely BEGGING YOU not to explain any more.
TamOShanter: And home is South Carolina, btw. Low Country. Not far from Charleston. I bought a plot of land and an Airstream trailer a while back.
TamOShanter: Honestly, you’d probably love it. I can go days without seeing another person out here.
BGPCymru: I’ve gone months without seeing someone up here.
TamOShanter: Ooooh, are we having a Lonely Loser-Off? Because I will cede that title to you, friend. No one hermits better than you.
BGPCymru: Thank you.
BGPCymru: I think.
