Elizabeth and Odie lifted their heads in interest, saw who it was, and decided she wasn’t worth the effort. Pudgy didn’t bother to wake up. Nicole ignored them in return. She’d never been a big fan of his little pack. And apparently, his dogs were smarter than he was. After enough rejections, they’d learned their lesson. Nicole just wasn’t that into them.
‘Well, first of all,’ she said, glancing around at the coffee table strewn with takeout cartons, and his partially unpacked suitcase by the bedroom door. ‘I was worried about you. You haven’t been answering my texts.’ She ran a hand down his arm and gave him that little smile that used to make him feel important, needed. Now it just made him feel annoyed. Annoyed at her. Annoyed at himself for not responding to it. Annoyed at Kira for breaking his brain.
‘I was away.’
‘Oh? That’s good! A little vacation is always nice.’
A little vacation. A devasting heartbreak. Very nice. Highly recommend it.
‘Well, you’ve confirmed I’m alive. So I guess you can go.’
Again, the little pout. He used to kiss it away.
‘God, Bennett. Do you treat all your friends this way?’
‘Is that what we are? Friends?’
Her pout turned into a sexy smile. ‘With benefits.’
He huffed a laugh. ‘They don’t feel like benefits anymore, Nic. It feels like you are using me when you need me and ditching me when you’re tired of me.’
Her eyes widened as he spoke, and he wondered if it was hard to open them that wide with the extra weight of her fake lashes.
‘Is that really how you feel?’
Christ. He did not want to be having this conversation right now. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does matter!’ She put a hand on her hip, cocking it out to the side indignantly.
‘Now you care about my feelings?’
‘I’ve always cared about your feelings.’
He stared at her, disbelieving. He should kick her out. Or take her to bed. He wasn’t sure which.
‘Do you want a drink?’ he asked, and her smile grew.
‘Sure.’
His entire apartment was essentially one room, so he could still feel Nicole’s eyes on him as he grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. He popped it open and handed it to her.
They drank in silence, Nicole watching him from her perch on the edge of his dining room table.
‘Why did you move out here?’ she asked, and he wanted to lie. But maybe the start of a new year was the perfect time to exorcize all this baggage from his past.
‘You asked me to.’
She nodded, and took another sip. ‘That was the only reason?’
‘Yes. It was stupid. I’m aware of that now.’ It was still so embarrassing to admit, even now all these years later. At the time, he’d claimed he had a job out here, too. That he’d always wanted to move to the West Coast. But he’d really just wanted to follow the pretty girl that he’d fallen in love with. If he was honest with himself, he’d known even at the time that she didn’t feel the same. But she’d asked. She’d said she needed him, that she didn’t want to be alone. And he’d fallen for it completely.
‘I was glad you came with me.’
He huffed. ‘You had a funny way of showing it. Ditching me after a few months didn’t feel like you were glad.’
‘We were so young! I didn’t know what I wanted.’
‘Clearly.’
‘I’m sorry if I hurt you, Bennett, but I just had to get out of that town. I was scared and you were there for me.’
He shrugged like it didn’t matter, like this one experience hadn’t shaped the way he’d thought about relationships ever since.
‘And in my defense,’ she said, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. ‘You said you had other reasons for coming out here. You’d always wanted to live on the West Coast, remember?’
‘I lied!’ He laughed, the sound harsh and rough. ‘I wanted to be with you.’
Nicole blinked like she hadn’t considered that she was his entire reason for relocating his life.
‘But you’re right,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘We were young. But we’re less young now and yet here you are.’
She pushed off the table and stalked closer, her hips swaying with every step. ‘And you let me in.’
And he’d let her in.
Christ.
He always let her in. How much could he blame her when he’d never once told her how he felt? He’d never turned her away or said he didn’t want to see her anymore. Every time she’d shown up on his doorstep or sent a late-night text, he’d been right there when she needed him. How could she possibly know he was unhappy with the arrangement?
