The Pumpkin Spice Café was relatively empty two days after Christmas but Jeanie was behind the counter. Kira had never been to the apartment above it, so she didn’t know if there was some way to knock on Bennett’s door without coming through the main café area. She didn’t have much of a choice but to talk to Jeanie. Especially since she hadn’t texted him. The element of surprise seemed important.
She sure as hell was surprised she was here, but she’d woken up this morning and God, she’d missed him. So much, already, and it scared the shit out of her, but she had to tell him. In person. She had to tell him in person that she missed him, and he was perfect, too, and maybe … maybe they could figure something out. That maybe they shouldn’t toss this whole thing out just because he was going home soon.
It had all made perfect sense in the hazy light of the winter morning when she’d woken up cold and lonely, but now standing in this welcoming café she was starting to question herself.
‘Hi, Kira!’ Jeanie looked surprised to see her, which she supposed made sense. She hadn’t really made it a habit to come into town all that often during her hermit phase. Something she planned to remedy in the new year.
‘Hi!’ She glanced around at the space as she walked to the counter. It was adorable in here, with good lighting and colorful art on the walls. She could feel the will to make her own coffee every morning weakening. She could come here. She could chat with Jeanie and Annie and Hazel.
It would be nice.
‘What can I get you?’ Jeanie asked, her dark eyes never leaving Kira’s face.
‘Uh … actually, I was wondering if your brother was here?’
Surprise again crossed Jeanie’s features. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Kira. He left yesterday.’
‘Yesterday?’ Yesterday?! Panic shot through her. No, no, nooo. ‘I… Uh … sorry, I just thought he was staying until the new year.’
Jeanie was still studying her, not unkindly, like she was looking for the answers that Bennett clearly hadn’t given her.
‘He decided to leave early. I guess he needed to get back.’
Kira forced herself to smile. To nod. ‘Right. Of course. That makes sense.’
Did it?! Did it make sense that he was just gone, just like that?!
‘Do you have his number?’ Jeanie asked. ‘You could give him a call.’
‘I…’ Kira was slowly backing away. She needed to get out of here so she could fall apart in private. ‘Yeah, I do. I’ll text him. Thanks.’
She waved, turned, and nearly ran out of the café.
‘You should tell him how you feel!’ Jeanie called after her, only making Kira walk faster.
How could she tell him how she felt now that he’d left? Bennett, I’ve decided you should stay, was a pretty absurd text to send to the man who’d already boarded a plane and hightailed it out of here.
She turned out of the café and strode down Main Street not at all sure of where she was headed. She’d parked directly in front of the café, but she just needed to walk. The air was cold and sharp this morning, but for once she didn’t mind it. It made her thoughts clearer.
He’d left just like she’d told him to. Why the hell was she surprised? This was Bennett, the most considerate man on earth. Of course, he’d done exactly what she told him to do.
And besides, he shouldn’t have to wait around for her to get her shit together. As much as she hated it, as much as it felt like she couldn’t breathe, like someone had carved another chunk out of her heart, she was proud of him.
Proud of him for leaving.
Proud of him for doing what was best for him. And that made her proud of herself. She actually cared about someone other than herself and the person that shared one hundred per cent of her DNA. Surely, that was growth. Unfortunately, no one really advertises that growth hurts like a son of a bitch.
Just say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.
She didn’t know if he meant it, but she wasn’t ready to say the word just yet. She did need to figure her shit out first.
And then … maybe then she’d take Jeanie’s advice.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bennett had never been a big fan of New Year’s Eve, but this year it sucked extra hard. He was back in his cramped San Francisco apartment, eating Chinese food out of the carton, surrounded by his dogs, which at any other time was actually his preferred way to spend an evening, but not now. Not anymore. Not when he wanted Kira next to him more than he wanted his left arm. More than he wanted air. More than he wanted…
A knock at the door interrupted his overdramatic thoughts. He needed to get a grip.
‘Coming!’ He emerged from the dog pile, pushing animals off his lap and making his way to the door. He pulled it open and his New Year’s got a million times worse.
‘Ben! You’re alive!’
‘Shit.’
Nicole frowned, her red-painted lips turned down in a little pout. ‘What kind of greeting is that?’
Bennett sighed. He didn’t have the energy to play nice. ‘What do you want, Nic?’
‘Can I come in?’
He squeezed the bridge of his nose. ‘Sure.’
Why the hell not? Why not just dive headfirst back into his old life? Kira didn’t want him but maybe Nicole still did. At least, as much as she ever did.
Nicole wiggled by him. She was wearing a tiny black dress covered in sequins and heels tall enough to turn her five-foot-three into at least five-six. Objectively, she looked hot. Unfortunately, it was doing absolutely nothing for him. Which seemed extra unfair. He couldn’t have Kira and she had ruined other women for him, too? That was just cruel.
