“...Are you done playing with my dragon?” suddenly said a calm voice.
Cessilia turned around, just in time to see Jisel closing the large doors behind her, with a slight close-lipped smile.
“Jisel,” groaned Cessilia.
“Yeah,” she answered. “...See, Princess, perhaps you should have killed me after all.”
“I gave you a ch-chance to g-go,” said Cessilia.
“I know,” sighed Jisel. “...Sadly, that’s not much of a choice for me.”
Cessilia frowned. That woman was an enigma to her. A part of her acknowledged how similar they were, yet so different too. Both with dragons that weren’t theirs, trying to find a place for their broken identities. Both carrying the dragon blood, without having their own dragon...
The red-haired woman slowly walked up to the balcony, opposite to Cessilia, where Jinn jumped to meet her. The dragon growled softly, a kind of growl Cessilia knew all too well, that showed affection to its favorite human. Jisel turned her back to the young dragon, but Jinn growled again, and gently nudged her shoulder with its snout. She sighed, and finally raised a hand to pet the red scales. The dragon growled again in appreciation, rubbing against her hand and closing its eyes.
“Why d-didn’t you run?” Cessilia asked, confused. “My b-brother saved you once, but you chose t-to ally yourself with the Yekara. Again.”
“Where would I run to?” Jisel scoffed. “You’re mistaken, Princess. You think I’m free, but this whole continent is my prison. There is no place for a woman like me. Both the Dragon Empire and the Eastern Kingdom will not let a woman with a roaming dragon live in peace. What is the point of leaving now that they know about Jinn? It’s all a matter of time before I’m caught and used again. No... I’m sick of being manipulated.”
She turned to the dragon, faintly smiling at it. Once again, Cessilia noticed Jisel actually held some feelings for the young dragon. Perhaps it wasn’t as strong as its real owner, but she did like the dragon, and sincerely felt connected to it. Jinn was even more obvious, mirroring what its deceased owner’s feelings should have been, those of a brother toward a beloved older sister. Cessilia’s younger siblings’ dragons acted the very same with her, always asking for cuddles even if their young masters pretend otherwise. Dragons were often more in tune with their owners’ deep feelings than the superficial ones that wouldn’t last. Jinn was carrying its previous master’s inner feelings all the same.
“I did consider fleeing,” she said, “but I decided a long time ago that the Eastern Kingdom would be my final home... Do you have any idea what it’s like, Princess, when you have no home at all? My father used my mother, and then he used me. My own mother used my little brother to get more of my despicable father’s attention. I bet you grew up witnessing nothing but love and care from your own family, but all I got from mine were shackles, betrayal, and poisonous feelings.”
She sighed, and turned her eyes back to Cessilia.
“...We’re both princesses, after all, aren’t we? We have the same grandfather... Sadly, my mother was just one of many, many disposable princesses. First, she was used, abused by her brother, and then... she fell in love with another monster. Not all princesses get their happy ending with a prince, Princess Cessilia. My life has been nothing but running away... I lived in the dark corners of a gigantic palace, like a rat. I hid from every adult that should have protected me. When we fled that Palace, and I thought I’d finally get some room to breathe, things got even worse... Neither my brother’s birth or Jinn’s appearance were the ray of hope I should have had. They made my parents crazier instead. Yet, my younger brother got attached to me, the only other person capable of actually caring for him without twisted feelings... but instead of being twisted, my feelings were nonexistent. Numb. I was in constant survival mode ever since I was born. How could it have been any different?”
She flicked her red hair over her shoulder and began moving around the room, walking next to the walls facing Cessilia. Meanwhile, Cessilia was getting ready to fight. She didn’t think Jisel would have trapped her here if it wasn’t to end things... It didn’t seem like she had any weapon but a small dagger in her right hand, though, which was clearly not enough.
“I fled... I lied, I stole. I sold myself too. I did literally anything a woman could do to survive. I mixed myself up with people I thought I belonged with, but then again, my lineage kept coming back like a curse. I wear it on my skin, after all. Plus, hiding a dragon isn’t all that easy.”
She chuckled, seemingly admiring some invisible detail in the wall.
“You c-could have lived freely b-by yourself,” said Cessilia, “with Jinn t-to protect you. No one should have been able to hurt you...”
Jisel suddenly turned to her with angry eyes.
“Oh, but that’s where we’re different, Princess. Unlike you, I’m not one to hide behind a dragon. I don’t rely on Jinn, like I have never relied on anybody but myself. Look at you. You might be the War God’s daughter, but you’re nothing but a coward!”
“D-don’t–”
“What?” scoffed Jisel. “Aren’t I telling the truth? You were born with everything. Parents who loved you. Caring siblings, and even your own dragon! And what did you do? ...You betrayed every single one of them. You were dumb enough to lose your dragon and to leave your family for a man!”
“You d-don’t know anything about me!”
“Of course I know,” she retorted, a vicious smile on her lips. “It’s written all over you. I’ve been watching you, curious about what kind of woman Ashen was so madly in love with. But what a disappointment! ...You’re afraid of your own shadow, Princess. I’m sick of you and your sick manner of always acting so fragile. Even that stupid stutter of yours. You’re not just scared, you’re someone eaten up by guilt. I can see the pieces fitting together. You lost your dragon for a man, and you lost your family’s trust. Isn’t it ironic? You lost pretty much the only part of you that made you oh so special, and now, you’re so afraid of showing what a disappointment you are to everyone, that you act like this!”
“Shut up!”
Cessilia violently punched the column next to her, furious. Even Jisel stopped her pacing, surprised, and looked up at the marble that trembled. The spot where the Princess’ fist had hit the stone was literally dug in by a couple of inches, and the whole structure was echoing a worrisome creaking. After a second, Jisel seemed to regain control of herself again, with a faint chuckle.
“...Look at that. I’m right, aren’t I? You know you’re not worthy of what you have. Your own brothers had to come and rescue you from the mess you can’t clean up by yourself. Your mere presence in this Kingdom ruined it! Ashen would have been fine if you hadn’t come. I would have been perfectly fine, by his side! ...You know, I truly believed it, for a while. I was fine with being a mere mistress. I was fine with being called his whore, the King’s slut, as long as I could live safely, peacefully. But no. You had to come here, and once again, ruin everything I was entitled to.”
Suddenly, Jisel also punched the wall next to her. The impact wasn’t big enough to cause as much damage as Cessilia’s fist had, but it did leave a monstrous hole in the previously perfect marble, and make more of the wall creak. A few steps back behind her, Jinn growled angrily at Cessilia, all fangs out. The dragon was now trying to get more of its head into the room, although the window was obviously too small.
“...I would have been fine staying in the shadows,” bitterly muttered Jisel. “Once again. Hiding in the shadows of this castle... It’s not like I hadn’t done it before. Except, this one, there would be no father or uncle to chase me. I could have simply been here, quiet and patient. I thought I could be happy, just this one time. ...However, things aren’t that easy, in a man’s world.”
She scoffed.
“He had to prove his stupid, childish love to you, once again. You know, I didn’t love him, but I did hope he wouldn’t abandon me like most had. I thought I had found a broken, but righteous man... However, a mistress is nothing but an eyesore when the real lady comes, isn’t she? He had to get rid of me.”
“He let you g-go,” said Cessilia. “You could have g-gone anywhere! The continent is so vast!”
“I did not want to go anywhere!” shouted Jisel. “I wanted to make this place my home! Do you have any idea what it’s like, to have to flee, over and over again? How many times will I have to depend on a man’s good will to survive?!”
“You d-don’t need a man!” Cessilia shouted back. “You have a d-dragon, and you’re such a smart woman b-by yourself! You made it this far alone! You c-could settle anywhere you want and start over!”
“...Is that what you think? That I made it this far alone? I relied my whole life on a man’s good will, Princess Cessilia. My father, my uncle, all those I slept with, in exchange for food, shelter, or safety. Do you think a woman alone can ever make it on her own, without being bothered by a man? True, I have a dragon. But once men become aware of Jinn, what do you think will happen to him? He’ll be hunted and killed, or used. Don’t you know best? You were a girl with a dragon, and you left your father’s home once… What happened to your dragon then?”
Cessilia’s blood went cold. Cece. Her beloved Cece was killed.
Jisel’s words brought back the haunting memory of that night. The men’s horrible voices, smell, touch. Just remembering any of that nightmare made her stomach twist and want to puke her guts out. It was the most terrifying night of her life. She wasn’t much like a dragon at all, back then. Just a vulnerable girl, with fear paralyzing her and pinning her down. She hated it. She hated that she had been so powerless, when she had wielded a sword for the first time at six, and learned to fight long before that. Yet, there were no words for the horrible, paralyzing fear that had overtaken her back then.
“That’s right,” said Jisel. “...That’s the look. When we hate both the gender we were born in, and the stronger sex... See, Princess? I told you we were more similar than you think. We both know what it’s like... to have your life in somebody else’s hands. We live in a man’s world. Having a dragon, or being a princess, doesn’t change a thing. Don’t tell me again that I do not need a man! Or live by your words, and leave Ashen and this Kingdom!”
Cessilia clenched her fists.
“I c-can’t,” she muttered.
