Tripp hesitated, and Turner snapped, “Don’t try to put some kind of spin on this.”
Bless Turner for playing along.
Tripp took off his cap, ran a hand through his greasy hair. “I … I was allowed to walk with my class, but I didn’t graduate. I didn’t have enough credits. And my dad said he wouldn’t bankroll another semester, so I’m just
… I’m doing marketing stuff for those Markham real estate guys? I’m actually getting pretty good at Photoshop. I’ve been trying to save up so I can finish, get my degree and all that.”
That explained the backpack full of food, but Alex wondered why Tripp hadn’t just lied on his application to whatever investment bank or trading firm he wanted to work for in Manhattan. The Helmuth name would open
every door, and no one was going to raise questions when a third-generation legacy wrote B.A. in Economics, Yale University on his CV. But she wasn’t going to say that. Tripp was just dopey and sincere enough that he wouldn’t consider an outright lie.
He wasn’t a bad guy. Alex suspected he’d go through his life described that way: not a bad guy. Not too bright, not too handsome, not too anything.
He went on nice vacations and burned through second chances. He liked to get high and listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and if people didn’t necessarily like him, they were happy to tolerate him. He was the living, breathing embodiment of “no worries.” But apparently Tripp’s father was done not worrying.
“What’s going to happen to me?” he asked.
“Well,” Alex said slowly. “We can let the Bonesmen and their board know you were trespassing.”
“And committing larceny,” Turner added.
“I didn’t take anything!”
“You pay for that food?”
“Not … not exactly.”
“Or,” said Alex, “we can keep this quiet and you can do a job for us.”
“What kind of a job?”
One that might result in death or dismemberment.
“It won’t be easy,” said Alex. “But I know you’re up to it. There might even be some cash in it.”
“Really?” Tripp’s whole demeanor changed. There was no distrust in him, no wariness. His whole life, opportunities had been dropping in his lap so easily he didn’t question another. “Man, Stern. I knew you were all right.”
“You too, buddy.”
Alex offered up her knuckles for a fist bump and Tripp beamed.
18
Alex sat through Modern Poets with Mercy the next day, letting the words of
“Invitation to Miss Marianne Moore” roll over her. With heaven knows how many angels all riding on the broad black brim of your hat, please come flying. When she read words like that, heard them in her head, she felt the pull of another life; she could see herself living it as clearly as if she were absorbing a Gray’s memories, listening to the horrible, beautiful lines of “The Sheep Child,” or setting down her pen as the professor of her history class on the Peloponnesian War compared Demosthenes to Churchill. The victors choose who should be lauded as a bulwark against tyrants and who may be sneered at as the enemy of inevitable change. In those moments, she felt something deeper than the mere need to survive, a glimpse at what it might mean if she could simply learn and stop trying so hard all the time.
She found herself fantasizing about a life not only without fear but without ambition. She would read, and go to class, and live in an apartment with good light. She would feel curious instead of panicked when people mentioned artists she didn’t know, authors she’d never read. She would have a stack of books by her bedside table. She would listen to Morning Becomes Eclectic. She would get the jokes, speak the language; she would become fluent in leisure.
But the illusion couldn’t be maintained, not when there were two dead faculty members whose murders might be linked to the societies, when Darlington was trapped in a circle of protection that might give way at any time, when Halloween was less than two weeks away and they had a ritual to perform, when she might die if they failed and might lose everything if they succeeded. The terror rushed back in, that gnawing sense of failure.
The beauty of poetry and the pattern of history receded until all that was left was the dull and worrisome now.
Dawes pinged her halfway through lecture, and Alex called her on the way to her next class.
“What’s wrong?” Alex asked as soon as Dawes picked up.
“Nothing. Well, not nothing, of course. But you’ve been summoned by the new Praetor.”
“Now?”
“You can’t keep putting him off. Anselm never bothered to arrange a tea after … what happened at Scroll and Key, and the Praetor is getting antsy.
He has office hours from 2 to 4 p.m. in LC.”
Practically next door to her dorm. Alex didn’t find the thought comforting.
“You spoke to him?” she asked. “What did he sound like?”
“I don’t know. Like a professor.”
“Angry? Happy? Help me out here.”
“He didn’t sound anything really.” Dawes’s voice was cool and Alex wondered why.
“What time do you want to do this?”
“He wants to meet you, not me.” Was that the problem? The Praetor didn’t want to include Dawes?
