It felt a little strange sitting at the table with the guys while no one said anything about my choosing Michael. Michael and I had talked about it, but neither Adam nor Rob had brought it up again. It was the giant, looming thing in the room that seemed like a smoke that hung in the air just waiting for someone to move in order for it to swirl around our heads. But, since none of them seemed to want to bring it up right now, then neither did I. Honestly, I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to talk about that decision until we were done filling The Sanctuary. I was starting to feel like my brain was trying to hold onto too many things at once, and that if I didn’t stop burdening it with more and more things to think about, that stuff was going to start falling out of it.
The next few days were spent talking to the newest residents of the home and welcoming them. They all seemed like nice people and I had a good feeling about everyone getting along. One of the guys was just down on his luck, recently fired and had no place to go; no family, no friends, and was quickly running out of hope. He was just looking for a place to gather his thoughts and his few remaining dollars, before being ready to try again. That guy was someone that this place could help; I just knew it. There were a few women that had left abusive spouses, one of which even brought her teenage daughter along with her.
This would be a place for them to heal and feel safe, to regain courage and strength and self-worth.
Then there were a couple of people that had self-diagnosed mental issues that kept them from feeling like they belonged in mainstream society. Whether or not they did, I couldn’t say. I was definitely not a mental health professional, nor did I want to play at being one. All that I wanted to do was give this little group of people some hope, and maybe the chance to start again, this time for the better. The guys and I talked to everyone in depth (more so than I had done with Sarah because she kind of jumped on moving in so quickly the same night as the party; in hindsight I probably should have interviewed her more thoroughly). We didn’t want to pry into anyone’s personal lives; we just wanted to make sure that we weren’t bringing anyone dangerous or manipulative into the building with everyone else.
“It’s a good group of people,” Rob said to me as he helped me put some dishes away in the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I think they’ll do well here together, at least until they decide that it’s time to leave and move on. Then I suppose that others will come and take their place. I’m thinking about hiring a couple more staff members to clean and take care of the shopping.”
“Is there enough money for that?” Rob asked as I handed him some glasses to put away in the cabinet. “I thought you said that it was almost used up.”
“There’s tons,” I said. “I put some away and only marked a certain amount for the budget on this place. That amount is pretty much used up, but there is more in other places.”
Money wasn’t ever going to be an issue here. The inheritance amount had been so large, that even when we had used most of it up on The Sanctuary, I made sure to put some in high-interest-bearing accounts that would continue to accrue enough interest to replenish the expenditures taken out of it.
“Well, good,” he said with a smile. “So now that this place is off to a good and solid start, and your mother’s dying wish seems to be coming to fruition; I want to talk to you about something.”
Uh oh.
I knew exactly what this was going to be about.
“Adam told me about the choice that you made to be with Michael,” he said.
Yep, there it is.
“While we were locked inside that safe, we didn’t know if we’d ever be coming out alive. I think that Adam was trying to be noble about it and give you the chance to tell me yourself, but after being in there together for a while, he thought that I deserved to know too.”
“You did deserve to know,” I agreed. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I should have. “Well, yeah,” he chuckled. “I agree that you should have. But it’s okay. We all make questionable calls in judgement from time to time.”
“So you’re not angry with me?” I asked in surprise.
I thought for sure he would be angry too. Maybe not quite as mad as Adam had been, but still upset at least.
“I mean, I would have liked you to choose me. But no, I’m not angry with you, Lisette. We can’t control the pull of our hearts any more than we can control when it stops beating.”
I was relieved and sort of impressed. Rob was definitely more selfless than I had given him credit for.
“But,” he said as he set a glass down and turned to look at me. “There is something that I want to do.”
“What is it?”
“I know that Adam was really upset. And I know that Michael was really upset too. It’s hard not to be jealous, especially now that you have voiced your intention. But I just want one thing, and then I’ll be at peace with your choice to pick Michael.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. By the way he was making it sound, it sounded like this “thing” was going to be something big.
“Do you remember when we talked about making love again in the garden on the mountainside?”
“Of course,” I smiled. “How could I forget that?”
“That’s what I want,” he said. “I want to make love to you again in the garden, just like you wrote in the letter that you left for me to read.”
“You want to go back to Asheville now to make love in the garden?” I asked.
It was a beautiful idea, and something that I would love to do, but I just didn’t think it was feasible for us to leave here and go to Asheville right now.
“As much as I would love to do that,” he said. “I was thinking about something a little bit different. But it will be similar to that, and I promise that you will love it. If I can have that one thing, then I will be happy.”
“Okay,” I smiled at him as I leaned forward and gave him a kiss.
Rob and I hadn’t had enough time together to have as much intimacy and love-making as I had with Michael and Rob. I would have liked to have had more time with him too.
“So you’ll agree to it?” he asked. “Without knowing all of the details?”
“Yes,” I said confidently. “If what you want is something similar to making love to me in the garden just like my letter said, then I agree to it. But dealing with Adam and Michael about it is on you.”
Rob laughed.
“Don’t worry,” he grinned. “I have a great idea for that too.”
14
The next night, when Rob came to get me from the overstuffed chair that I was reading in, I could already tell that his intentions were of the arousing nature.
It was well into dusk and the air was getting slightly warmer still as it headed into the middle of springtime. It was cool, but not cold, and I didn’t need to grab a jacket as he led me outside by the hand. I was going to tell Michael and Adam that Rob and I were going out for a walk (since I didn’t really know what it was that we were going to go and do), but I couldn’t find the other two guys anywhere.
