I felt my heart sink into my stomach. We had promised that we would tell each other everything and that we would always be honest and upfront about things with each other. This should have been no exception. I knew that no matter what answer I gave it wouldn’t be a good one. So, I just went with the truth.
“I didn’t want to worry you until I knew for sure,” I said truthfully.
“That’s not a good enough reason,” he said.
He was right; it wasn’t. But it was the only reason that I had.
“I know,” I said. “But I just wasn’t sure, and I was scared, and I really don’t think that I’m pregnant. It’s just that I missed my period and so I started to be concerned that it might be a slim possibility.”
“Those are all reasons that you should have told me,” he said. “You know that I am always here for you, Lisette. I would never be mad at you for something like this, and I want to be here for you to help if there’s something that you’re feeling worried about.”
“I know that,” I said as tears filled my eyes. “But this is different. We’ve dealt with all sorts of things on the outside of us, and we’ve faced them together. This is on the inside of us. This is something that would change our lives forever and there would be no running away from it.”
“All the more reason that we should face it together,” he said.
“You’re right,” I said. “I’m sorry. I should have told you as soon as I started to worry about it.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I know you were scared. Just promise me, again, that you won’t keep things from me, okay? Not even things that you’re scared to tell me.”
“Okay,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me. “I promise.”
“Good,” he said. “Now, can you explain to me what this thing even means?”
Michael held up the test and we both looked at it.
“Isn’t it supposed to have a line or something in that little, white square?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It is. I don’t really know what it means. I read the directions and I think there’s either something wrong with the test, or maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said. “We’ll go get another test. I’m sure a second one will give you a result.”
“Right now?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “Why not? Don’t you want to know for sure?”
I nodded my head. I really did want to know for sure.
“What about Rob and Adam?” I asked.
“Well, we need to tell them,” he said.
I was surprised at his answer. I expected him to want to keep this just between the two of us, at least until we knew for sure. If I wasn’t pregnant, which I still was sure that I wasn’t; there was no reason to alarm the other two guys too. Michael saw the look of hesitation on my face.
“Every single time we try to keep something from each other, it always ends up blowing up in our faces and making a bigger problem that it originally was. This is your decision, but I think that you should tell them,” he said.
He was right. I nodded again and he held my hand as we started to walk out of the bathroom.
And on our way out, I threw the test back into the trash can.
20
The reaction of the other two guys was not as calm and collected as Michael’s had been, which was surprising since Michael was usually the one who overreacted and flew off the handle the most.
“We aren’t leaving now,” Adam said.
“I didn’t think you were leaving yet anyway,” I said, confused about why that would be the first thing that he would say.
“We weren’t, but now we definitely aren’t leaving. Not until we find out if you’re actually pregnant or not. We can’t leave if you’re pregnant, Lisette. We don’t know whose baby it is.”
“You’re talking as if you’re already sure,” Michael said. “We don’t even know if she’s pregnant yet.”
“Let’s go,” I said as I grabbed my jacket. “Let’s go back to the store and get another test. All of us.”
When we got back from the store and I took the second test into the bathroom, there was a palpable tension in the air. I felt as if the fate of the world was hanging in the balance, just waiting for me to pee on a stick. I completed the test and left it on the top of the sink as I walked back out to sit with the other guys and wait. There wasn’t any sense in hiding out in the bathroom again, and staring at it certainly wouldn’t change the result or make it work any faster.
All three of them looked at me expectantly when I came out and sat down with them on the side of the bed.
“What are we going to do if you’re pregnant?” Rob asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, none of us were really planning to have a baby I don’t think. Are you going to keep it?” he asked.
I hadn’t really thought about that yet. I had been too consumed with worrying about whether or not I actually was pregnant and how much it would change my life, to even think about what I would do past the point of finding out. But when I thought about it, the answer was clear. I loved the guys, all of them. And no matter what a baby would do to change my life, I couldn’t really think about not keeping it if I was pregnant. All I could think about was that beautiful night in the garden and how anything that came out of that night was bound to be something good, and not something bad.
