“Fine,” I said as I turned and walked out the door, expecting him to follow.
Adam grabbed me by the arm gently and pulled me into him. He looked into my eyes until I couldn’t help but look back. And when I focused on him, I found his cheeks ticking with what looked like the shadow of a grin.
Which only made me angrier.
“You’re jealous,” he said with the slight curve of a smile on his mouth. “You didn’t like seeing me hold another woman, did you?”
I didn’t answer. I was too hurt and mad. I pursed my lips together to keep from saying something that I knew I would probably regret, but that only seemed to make him more amused.
Which made me even angier.
But instead of pushing me to answer, Adam kissed my pursed lips until I opened them, and he slid his tongue into my mouth when I finally gave way. All of the jealousy I had been feeling immediately absolved with every stroke of his tongue against the roof of my mouth as I felt the strength of his embrace and felt his body against mine as we leaned up against the doorframe.
I kissed him back until I felt comfortable in the knowledge that he was mine again.
As much as I loved that all four of us were staying in the same small room together, it was difficult not having any alone time with any individual one of them. Like now, I wanted Adam and I would have let him make love to me all night if we had a room to ourselves to go in. Not that there weren’t plenty of rooms on the floor, but it would be obvious and uncomfortable if me and one of the guys took to ourselves for the night.
I didn’t want to hurt any of them, but at the same time I wanted each of them.
When our mouths pulled apart, Adam stayed close to my face to talk. His body stayed pushed up against mine and I could tell that he wished we had our own room to disappear into as well. Maybe we could just disappear for a little while, long enough to satiate the desire that pulsed between us both.
“I want you to pick me,” he said.
His dark eyes stared at me with intensity as if he wanted an answer. “You know that I love you and I think you love me, too. I’m the one you should be with, Lisette, not just some of the time, but all of the time.”
The urgency in his voice caught me off guard. Usually he was the calm one, the most low-key and patient of all three of them. But, the pressure in his voice and the way it sounded like he was ready to almost fight with me put me back on edge.
I clicked my tongue. “What happened to being okay with waiting until I was ready to think about it?” I asked.
I hadn’t even given much more thought to which of the guys I would one day choose to be with. I knew in the back of my head that I couldn’t stay with all of them forever, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to. That was probably the reason that I hadn’t thought about who to choose yet, because I didn’t want to have to choose at all.
“I’m still that guy,” he said. “And I would still wait for you forever, Lisette. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to be with you now.”
“You are with me now,” I said as I tried to tiptoe around his words.
“You know what I mean,” Adam said as his hand stroked the side of my ribcage beneath my shirt. “I want to be the only man that you are with.”
“I know,” I said, but that was the only answer I could give.
“I’ll wait for you,” he said as he lowered his hand to hold onto mine as we walked back toward our dorm floor. “Just know that it’s killing me inside.”
I couldn’t sleep at all that night. There were too many things that troubled my mind and kept my thoughts poking at my brain until I finally just had to get up and walk out into the common area. I slipped out of the bed without disturbing any of them and stood at the window in my T-shirt, looking out over the campus and watching the rain fall during the wee hours of the night. When I heard soft footsteps behind me, I turned around to see who it was.
“Did I wake you up?” I asked as Michael walked toward me. He put his arm around my waist and kissed the side of my temple.
“No,” he answered. “I couldn’t sleep either.”
“That seems to be a common problem for us these days,” I said with a sigh.
Michael nodded and then stood beside me as we both looked out the window.
“I love watching the rain at night when it’s dark,” he said contemplatively. “There’s such a calmness about it.”
I smiled softly, and the sensation seemed almost foreign to me. “Me too. Sometimes I feel like I want to go out and lie down on the ground and just let it rain all over top of me,” I said. “I know that sounds a bit crazy.”
“No, actually. It doesn’t sound crazy at all. I think we should.”
“Should what?”
“Should go outside and lie down in the rain,” he answered.
I blinked. “Are you serious?”
He chuckled. “Totally.”
“What about the others?” I asked.
He shrugged. “They’ll be asleep until morning. They won’t even know we’ve slipped out. Come on,” Michael said as he reached for my hand. “Let’s go live a little in our entrapment.”
There was a sudden thrill that ran through me as we climbed down the stairs and out onto the campus. We didn’t even put shoes on, and I still only had on a thin, white t-shirt. The air was cool but not frigid. We stepped out onto the soft grass and Michael sat down on the ground before laying back with his head facing the sky. I laid down next to him and closed my eyes as the fat raindrops fell down onto us and burst open into little individual puddles against my skin.
The mix of sensations was incredible. The earth beneath my back was warm and soft and the rain mixed with the cool air was invigorating. David reached over to hold my hand and the body heat from his skin radiated up my forearm. I could feel my shirt getting soaked and starting to cling to my body along every curve and indentation. It felt freeing, to be out here in the rainstorm and not care about anything other than just feeling the moment.
It was strange to me how much the rain bothered people. People used umbrellas and raincoats because they hated getting wet, and they grumbled about dreary days when it stormed and wished for the sun to pop back out. But I was different. The rain resonated with me and it made me feel alive.
It made me feel more.
