His car was parked on a street just in front of the dormitory, and although I did catch sight of a couple of Lineage security guards who watched us leave, they didn’t seem to have any problem with me getting into the car with Rob. Either David had told them that it was okay, or they were planning to chase me down and kill me at the pizza place on the down-low. I was really hoping it was the first option.
As soon as the car drove off campus, I had the sweeping feeling that I just wanted to keep driving and run as far away as I could get from here. Obviously, I would never have done that. There’s no way that I would leave the guys behind. But still, I couldn’t help but at least entertain the fantasy of running away and being free. I felt like I had been trapped for so long that I wouldn’t even remember what freedom felt like.
Regardless of whether I remembered it or not, I knew that I wanted it. I stared out the window while Rob was talking to me and was so enthralled at watching the scenery pass by as we drove further and further away from the campus, that his voice just sounded like a low hum in the background.
“Lisette?” I heard him say a bit louder as if he was trying to get my attention.
He had probably called my name several times already and I was just now hearing him.
“Yeah, sorry,” I said. “I was distracted by the drive. It looks like it’s going to snow soon, and I always like to watch the first snowfall of winter.”
I hoped that excuse wasn’t too lame and that I didn’t come across as rude for ignoring him up until now.
“No problem,” he said. “I was just going to let you know that we’re here.”
The car pulled into the parking lot of a really cute looking little pizzeria with colored strings of lights dangling from the corners of the ceiling. Once we went inside and got seated, Rob ordered us a bottle of wine and we picked out a pizza to share. And when the wine got to the table, he poured us both a glass and held it up to toast.
“To getting to know each other,” he said.
If he only knew all of the things about me, he would probably run away screaming.
Still, though, I tried to sell it as I held up my glass to toast. “To getting to know each other.”
And I hoped with all my might that I didn’t go home to a dead body lying on our dormitory floor after cruising off-campus with this blatantly-obvious undercover cop.
10
“Lisette,” Rob said to me after we had been sitting at the table and talking for hours. “I can’t help but notice that you keep looking off into the distance as if you want to get out of here. You did it on the car ride too.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s not that at all, I am really having a nice time with you here.”
“Yeah I can tell that too,” he said. “That’s not what I meant. It seems like you don’t want to be at Lineage. Am I right to think that?”
Crap. I can’t tell him the truth about that. If I raise any suspicion at all, David will throw us right back into the stone room again. I opened my mouth to lie and tell him how much I loved being at Lineage, but I found that I couldn’t force myself to do that either.
“What is it?” he asked as he watched me struggle to answer. He reached his hand across the table to hold mine. He looked down at my hand as soon as our fingers made contact. “You’re shaking. Lisette, what’s going on?”
I didn’t answer him. There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t get me into trouble one way or the other.
Rob got up and came over to sit next to me on my side of the table. The booth was small, and I could feel his thighs pressed up against mine when he put his hand on my lap to steady the trembling that was now taking hold of my whole body. I didn’t know what was making me shake so much. Maybe it was the thrill of being off campus or the nervousness of having to go back, or maybe it was the thought of how the guys might be right in having a little reason to be jealous. Rob turned his face toward mine and leaned closer so that he could whisper into my ear.
I felt his warm breath against my skin, and it made me tremble even more.
“I want to help you,” he said. “But you need to be honest with me in order for me to be able to. I lied to you, Lisette, and I’m sorry. But I’m going to tell you the truth now. Are you ready?”
I gazed up into his eyes but didn’t dare speak as he continued. “I’m an undercover cop and I’m just posing as a student so that I can gain access to the campus and find out what’s going on. There’s suspicion that the administration of the school is running a hidden drug operation on the campus, but I’m guessing from your reactions that you already knew that. If you’re in any sort of trouble, then tell me and I’ll get you out.”
God, I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to tell him so badly that I was held there against my will: that we all were and that we needed his help more than he knew. But there was no point in it, because as much as I wanted to fantasize about Rob being able to help, I knew that he couldn’t. He was no stronger or faster or smarter than any of us were. And he would just end up joining our hostage situation and become David’s next victim. It was better if he found nothing and just left the school while he still could. I felt my eyes start to tear up at how upsetting it was to be so close to the outside world and yet not be able to stay in it.
My voice cracked as I tried to answer him without sounding upset as best I could. “I’m really not sure what you mean,” I said. “I’m fine and the school is…great.”
There, I did it. I lied.
I held his gaze with all the strength within me in order to try to make it seem more convincing. Our mouths were close, and he opened his lips to speak enough that I could see the tip of his tongue and found myself want to touch it with my own.
“You’re lying,” he whispered.
For a moment, we held eyes and I felt like any small move that either of us made would lead to our mouths being on each other.
When the waitress came back to ask if we’d like to order another bottle of wine, I quickly declined her offer and acted like we had to go.
The entire ride back to campus was silent simply because I couldn’t lie anymore and I knew that if I opened my mouth it would either result in all of the dangerous truth being spilled out, or in me wanting to wrap his tongue around mine. I stared out the window and watched the world that I so desperately wanted to be in disappear as we drove back onto the campus.
We walked up into our dormitory together and I thanked Rob for the nice dinner. He still wanted to talk; I could tell that he wasn’t ready to end the evening, but as soon as the elevator doors opened, I said goodnight to him and darted into the stairwell. When I got up to our floor, all three guys were waiting up for me on the couch and I ran over to them, fell down beside them on the cushions, and started to cry.
“What’s wrong?” Adam asked. “Did that guy do something to you?”
“No,” I cried. “I just hate being here.”
All three of them huddled around me and held me until I eventually exhausted myself from crying and fell asleep. We all slept on the couch that night, piled in the primal heap that had become so comfortable for me, and that soothed me when I was beside myself with grief.
I had a very short dream that night, one that felt like it lasted only a few seconds at most. I dreamt that we were all asleep on the couch together and that the door opened, and Rob came in. He walked over to the couch where we were and then laid down beside me to join us. That was the entirety of the dream until I woke up.
In the morning when I opened my eyes, the guys were already up and making coffee. I sat up on the couch, stiff from having slept on the narrow space with three men, and thanked Adam when he handed me a steaming cup of caffeine.
“Maybe you should take a day off today,” Michael said as he came to sit down next to me. “Just stay here and rest for a bit and gather your thoughts.”
