He ground his teeth. “No. But then I wasn’t the one who has been resorting to games and trickery to become a duchess!” His voice had risen throughout his tirade. He shoved a hand through his hair.

Instead of chiding him for his loss of temper, his mother merely sighed heavily. “I won’t pretend that she could have gone about this entire situation differently, but don’t we all make errors in judgment from time to time? She’s young and impressionable. She had a large role to fill as a diamond of the first water—”

“Yes. And used me in the process,” he growled.

His mother tilted his head. “Are you going to tell me that you didn’t use her as well?”

He frowned. “What the devil are you talking about?”

“You never wanted to marry. It was only through my constant coercion that you even agreed to hold that ball. Yes, Emary may have decided that she needed a plan to get you to notice her, as most women do. But didn’t you also use her to delay choosing a bride?”

Donovan couldn’t deny that claim, for he knew it was true. “That doesn’t excuse her actions.”

“Perhaps not, but doesn’t she deserve a chance to explain herself? Or would you rather condemn her without the benefit of a trial first?”

He turned his head to stare out the window. “I just…need some time. Surely you can’t fault me for that, at least?”

His mother was quiet for a time. Finally, she relented with, “Of course. Just make sure you don’t take too long to come to a decision. A woman like Emary Pageant doesn’t come along every day.”

Chapter 9

Donovan’s absence left a hole in the middle of Emary’s chest. She couldn’t believe how much she ached for someone after such a short acquaintance. But then, he had made her feel things that she’d never imagined were possible.

So why hadn’t she been able to tell him what he’d wanted when he’d asked? What had kept her from throwing her arms around him and confessing her love — the feeling she had long known with every fiber of her being?

All her life, when she’d dreamt of the day she would meet the man she intended to spend the rest of her life with, did she ever picture a man like Donovan Wainwright. But truly, in her eyes, there was no other man who could equal him. And it wasn’t the fact he was a duke, or because his scar gave him a roguish appeal, or how she melted under those piercing blue eyes, but it was the man himself. The more she knew about Donovan the man, the more fascinated she became. Not only was he a man of honor, a war hero who had fought valiantly in the war with France, but he took his responsibilities seriously. She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to speak out against injustice in Parliament, nor would he fail to take action in public if he thought he was fighting for a cause that was right.

It was him, and not his title, that had stolen her heart.

But as the days slowly trudged along and Sunday morning arrived with no word from her affianced, Emary began to fear that this was one vow that he might not actually follow through on. But then, he’d made no promises. All along, their betrothal was supposed to be nothing but a sham. And honestly, she knew she had no one to blame but herself if things turned sour. She’d embarked on this foolish endeavor, one that might very well bring about her own ruin.

And wouldn’t Miss Parkhurst crow about my downfall, she thought rather uncharitably.

“My lady, you have a caller.”

Emary lifted her head from where she’d been hunched over her writing desk. At least she had accomplished something during these past six days of misery. The dreaded words that had been absent had finally arrived. The ink that stained her fingers would attest to that.

Emary quickly checked her appearance in the mirror and then nearly flew down the stairs. But when she walked into the drawing room, it wasn’t Windwood that she saw, but rather the dowager duchess. And according to Donovan’s mother’s solemn expression, any hope that Emary had been retaining for the duke’s return abruptly dwindled.

Nevertheless, she offered a brief curtsy and a warm smile. “Your Grace.”

In return, Caroline didn’t waste any time in announcing, “My son sent along his regrets this morning. I fear that he won’t be able to join us for church, as estate business detains him in the country.”

Emary felt a slight buzzing in her ears, a warning for what was to come, but she did her best to keep her disappointment from showing. “He is a busy man,” she deferred. “I’m sure he would be here if he could.”

The older woman sighed heavily. “Do you truly believe that?”

Emary threaded her hands together before her. There was no use skipping about the matter at hand. “I suppose he’s rather angry at me.”

“I don’t think he’s angry so much as…confused,” the dowager returned gently.

Emary sank down onto the settee. “Don’t you think it’s time I put an end to this farce—”

The dowager’s blue eyes widened in horror. “Absolutely not!” she returned vehemently. She walked over and sat beside Emary, taking her hands in hers. “I believe that you love him, do you not?”

Emary nodded. There was no use pretending otherwise when in her heart she knew it was true.

“And you wish to be his wife?” her future mother-in-law persisted.

She swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

“Then as I see it, you must go to him at once. You have to make him see reason.”

Emary’s jaw went slack. “But, I can’t…I mean, my mother would never allow—”

“Let me worry about that,” the dowager countered. “As long as you take your maid with you, the proprieties shall be observed. Your parents and I shall go to services this morning to present a united front, while you take my carriage to Basildon. My driver knows the way to Windwood Hall located just on the outskirts of town.”

Emary bit her lower lip, tempted, and yet… “What if he refuses to see me? What if it’s all for naught?”

Caroline’s face softened. “I know that you are genuine in your affections, Miss Pageant, however it all may have begun. But if you wish to see Donovan waiting for you down the aisle at St. Paul’s on Christmas Eve, you must convince him that you are serious in your regard.” Her blue gaze was imploring. “My son has suffered much, both in his youth because of his father’s stern hand, and later upon the battlefield. He feels that he isn’t deserving of love, but I know in my heart that he truly cares for you. The question is, are you willing to risk it all for him in return?”

Emary hesitated, but she knew there was no doubt in her mind regarding which course she would take. In truth, it had been decided from the first moment she glimpsed that towering blond head in the crowd. “Yes. I will.”

And she knew just what to do.

Donovan reined his mount in at the top of a hill. The wind was cold and brisk today with the threat of snow on the graying horizon, but from here, he could look down at his massive, limestone estate and appreciate everything that went along with his title, his role as a servant to the Crown and his country.

A wave of pride washed over him — followed by a swift burst of guilt. Of course he knew the reason for that, for it was the true reason he’d had to escape his study, so he wouldn’t be staring at the clock on the mantel and thinking about what was happening in London. The last of the marriage banns between him and Emary were likely being read at this very moment — and yet, here he was, hiding out at his estate near Basildon instead of facing his fiancée. Coward, his inner voice chided, and he blew out a heavy breath, because he knew it was true. He might have faced down those French frogs and carried one of the highest ranks in the aristocracy, and yet, one sable haired chit had managed to break through his reserve with one glance of those mesmerizing chocolate-colored eyes.

Love at first sight. He had to snort, but yet, it seemed entirely too accurate.

He clenched his fists on the reins, causing his horse to prance nervously beneath him. He forced himself to relax, although his mind was still in turmoil. Even after seven days in relative seclusion, he still hadn’t been able to focus on anything but Emary and how he’d love to see her lovely body lain out like a sacrificial offering upon his bed.

He released a heavy breath. Nothing good could come from such musings. He desired Emary to the point of distraction, that was true, and he knew that these emotions rolling around inside his chest were foreign to anything else he’d ever felt before, but he was also smart enough to know that it took more than attraction and lust to make a marriage survive. The truth was, he was a broken man, who still suffered from the nightmares of a battlefield, not to mention his distrust in everything around him. So could he, in all good conscience, inflict that sort of life on an innocent who thought he was capable of a normal existence, when he would likely be plagued with such turbulent thoughts for the rest of his days?

If war had taught him anything, it was loss. While it might cause his chest to ache with a raw pain unlike anything he’d known before, even the burning slash of the sword across his face, he had made his decision. In the short time he’d known Emary, he had come to respect and admire the woman she was. He’d even made his peace with the fact that although he might have been singled by Emary in the beginning, she had been determined and resilient enough to ensnare him. And ensnare him she had, both heart and soul.

Donovan suddenly narrowed his eyes as he spied a black coach in the distance. He set his jaw. No doubt it was his mother coming home to give him one of her many lectures. He could only imagine how she would react when he told her that he intended to put an end to this engagement. He urged his horse into a canter. It was best to get it over with now.

He reached the gravel drive at the same time the carriage came to a halt, but when he would have greeted his mother with a note of derision in his tone, it wasn’t the dowager who alighted…

Emary smoothed her hands down the front of her purple velvet pelisse and touched the brim of her matching bonnet once the coach rolled to a stop. She had no idea what she might even say to Donovan when she saw him. And if he flat out refused to see her? Perhaps he might at least look at what she’d brought him.

Caroline had taken the lead and been able to convince Emary’s mother to allow her to remain home from church. After the dowager had told her parents that Donovan wasn’t going to be in attendance, Emary’s mother had paled considerably, thinking the worst. When Caroline went on to explain that Emary should stay behind to give the appearance that they were somewhere else together, Lady Armenton had reluctantly agreed.