“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby,” Ellie whispers. “I know it’s too early. I couldn’t…I couldn’t let…”
Evander kneels on the ground next to his wife. He takes her trembling hands in his and touches them to his forehead. “I know. I know. You were so brave, and I’m so proud of you. So immensely proud to get to say you’re my wife.”
Ellie’s brow furrows. “It’s too early.”
Evander’s voice breaks, and my heart cracks in two. “I know.”
Ellie begins sobbing.
No, no, no, no, no.
I can’t breathe, I can’t—
Evander’s neck snaps upward, his fiery gaze meeting mine, as if noticing I’m here for the first time.
“What are you doing here?”
My voice catches in my throat. Next to me Marcus goes stiff, though he keeps his eyes trained on the wood for any prowling Others.
“What? It’s not enough that you’ve unleashed a pack of Others on my wife? You can’t even be bothered to answer my question?”
My voice trembles, even as I try to hold onto it. “Andy, I’m—”
“Don’t call me that,” he snaps, his face twisting in anguish. “How…” He takes in a breath, his sea-green eyes shimmering with tears. “How dare you?”
I open my mouth, but no words come out.
Evander’s baby is about to die, and I’m the cause of it.
There’s nothing that can fix it.
Worst of all, I know that better than anyone.
Recognize the anguish in his heart better than anyone.
My mind flashes back to the joy in Evander’s and Ellie’s eyes when I stumbled in on Evander listening to the child’s heartbeat. The envy that settled in my stomach.
Fates, did I hope this into being?
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I whisper, and even as Evander’s face hardens, it’s like I can’t help myself. Can’t help myself from trying to force him to understand, though I have no right.
Evander swallows. “You never do.”
Hurt pierces my chest at the truth of his words.
“And—Evander, I—”
I steal a glance at Ellie, but she has her eyes forced closed. The scent of her blood wafts to my nostrils.
“No.” Evander shakes his head. “I don’t want to hear any more excuses from you, Blaise. I’m done. I keep thinking I’m helping you, but really, I’ve just been enabling your selfishness.”
Marcus shifts. “Evander…”
Evander barks, but not toward Marcus. “No. Blaise, do you know how guilty I felt when you were taken? How many nights I lay sleepless because I worried over what had happened to you? And I know…I know your childhood was wretched. I know Clarissa deserved what she got for what she did to you. And I’m sorry, Blaise. I’m truly sorry for what you suffered. But you know what else I’m sorry for? I’m sorry for giving so much of myself to someone who doesn’t want to be helped, someone who doesn’t care to get better. I put my family in danger for you. And I can’t blame you for that. It was my own choice, my own doing. But you…you’re so desperate to fill that void inside you, so desperate for some twisted ideal of love, that you throw away the people who actually care about you.
“I know why you did it, why you betrayed us. We all know. Even little Amity here knows. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has done to prove we loved you. You’re just going to throw it away for the attention of the first male who looks your way.
“So yes, you should have been nervous to tell me about Nox. And yes, I would have said you were being stupid. And I’m so, so tired of caring about whether you ruin yourself. Ruin everything you touch. Because that’s what you do.
“Asha’s gone, Blaise. I don’t know if you’ve even pulled your head out of your own chest long enough to notice. You handed her over to that psychopath. Do you know how frightened she is of him? How many times Ellie had to go and sleep in the bed with her because she would wake up screaming?”
My mouth is moving, but no words are coming out.
“And now Kiran is going to have to agonize over what’s happening to her. Like you’ve been agonizing over Nox. You can’t handle your own burdens, your own pain, so you gladly hand them off to someone else.”
Marcus has lowered his bow, placing a firm hand on Evander’s shoulder.
Evander shrugs him off and bolts to his feet.
“Now’s not the time for this, friend,” says Marcus, but Evander doesn’t seem to hear.
He’s stalking toward me, and for the first time in my life, I see nothing but contempt in those beautiful eyes of his.
“Tell me, are you happy now? Did you find what you were looking for? Tell me it was worth it, Blaise. Tell me you got what you wanted. That the price of my child’s life was worth it.”
He approaches, and I find myself stepping backward, my back hitting a tree.
“Tell me. Was. It. Worth. It?”
