The week flew by and now we helped Brother Jim move himself and the other family members into Listening Lark’s new home next door. River and Branch would stay at Grandmother’s house to work on the winery we planned to start up; I’d be overseeing the enterprise, something new that I was excited about doing for Listening Lark. Branch’s family had a large winery in Napa, and he knew quite a bit about the business. Learning the winery process would be interesting to me and it felt like everything was falling into place in so many aspects of my life.
Sunny and I fell back into our normal routine, and it felt so good. Things seemed to calm with Raindrop too. Life with Sunny in the guesthouse was exactly what I wanted. How could I want more?
We still did yoga with Venus and the others in the morning. We had some conversations with Venus about the new house and topics of that nature. A bit awkward in the beginning, but things smoothed out quickly. Everything was fine between the three of us. I think everyone moved on from the incident.
My peacefulness returned. Sunny and I would always be together.
FORTY-FOUR2024
Aimee
Dr. Daly’s office was an oasis of calm in busy downtown Center City. Pale pink walls blending with crisp white furniture, soft floral pillows in a delicate pattern on her comfortable sofa and equally comfortable overstuffed chairs. A long, slim coffee table in front of the sofa had a box of tissues on it and an etched glass candy bowl filled with Hershey’s Kisses. The lighting was dimmed, with a warm floral lamp lit on a side table next to the sofa. I’d spent many hours in this room. Many hours trying to heal my mind and move on from the trauma of my past.
“Aimee,” Dr. Hazel Daly said. She sat in one of the overstuffed chairs with her notebook and pen at the ready. Her laptop sat on the coffee table. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yes,” I said.
“How have you been?”
“Not good. Not terrible, but I’m having some trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“Getting motivated, sometimes getting out of bed in the morning. I think I need to start medication again.”
Dr. Daly nodded. “Yes, that is something we could do, though I think we should talk first. I’m glad you recognized the issue and came to see me. We should keep regular appointments.”
“I think so too.”
“How about everything else? Have the nightmares returned?”
“No, but…”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been thinking about them lately. My parents.”
“Okay, what about?”
I fiddled with the edge of the floral pillow. “Maybe I could have done something differently. You know how I play out the entire scenario in my mind. Was I wrong by doing what I did?”
Dr. Daly paused. “It’s a complicated situation, Aimee, and you were only seventeen. It’s easy to have hindsight now and think of other options, but in the heat of the moment you did what you thought was right at the time.”
I nodded. I’d forgotten how much I liked Dr. Daly. She validated my feelings and helped me put things into perspective.
But Dr. Daly didn’t know all my secrets, only a few.
FORTY-FIVE2013
Aimee
The rain fell steadily in the morning giving our already gloomy house a deeper level of darkness. I lay on the living room sofa, flicking through the TV channels with the remote, but finding nothing of interest.
I heard her fumbling around in the back bedroom. The shower ran and then the hair dryer. Mixed feelings swelled inside me. Glad she was finally moving around. She hadn’t left her bedroom in two days, a common occurrence lately, but now I’d have to deal with her and that was always so exhausting.
The door creaked open, and Mom walked out. She wore jeans that hung loose on her ever-thinning frame and a plain white sweatshirt. Her hair was washed and brushed. She even wore makeup. She looked good, better than she had in weeks.
“Mom,” I said, jumping off the sofa. “You look nice.”
She shrugged, giving me the minimal response I was accustomed to receiving over the last few months. She walked out to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and poured a glass of orange juice.
I walked over to her. “Are we going somewhere? Let me change, it’ll only take a minute.”
Mom laughed. “I’m going somewhere, but you’re not coming.”
This shit again. She would never forgive me. What I did was for her. Why couldn’t she see that?
“Really?” I sharpened my tone. “Why are you still treating me like this? It’s been months! Why won’t you understand?”
Mom glared at me. “I understand that you took him from me, and I’ll never forgive you for it.”
Tears rose inside me and I ran to my bedroom. I would not allow her to see me cry. Never again. I stayed there for a few hours, having fallen asleep on my bed. Groggy, I got up and made my way to the kitchen. I poured a glass of juice just as my mother had done earlier in the day.
I noticed a piece of paper lying on the kitchen counter and picked it up. Aunt Lou’s name and phone number were scrawled across it in my mother’s handwriting.
Weird.
One hour later, the phone rang.
