I looked up from the cash box and Margie stood in front of me. “Hi, Margie, good to see you!”
“Thank you again for inviting us to your New Year’s Eve party. We had so much fun.” She smiled.
“I’m so glad,” I replied. “Are you doing the photo booth?”
“We were, but Doug got distracted by something,” she said. “But that’s okay. I want to talk to you about something anyway.”
“Okay, um… do you want to talk now?”
“Probably nothing, but I wanted to mention it to you. Robin told you how weird John was when I wouldn’t go out with him, right? This was before I was seeing Doug.”
“She did.” I nodded. “She said he was… kind of stalking you?”
“Yes, it seemed like that, until I started dating Doug,” Margie said. “Anyway, I was driving past your house a few times the last couple of weeks. My aunt lives out your way. Last week, I noticed John’s truck parked on the dirt lane down the road from you, and he was walking out of the small woods across from your house.”
“Okay.” I stared at her.
“Then this week, I saw the truck again, parked in that dirt lane. I drove very slowly past the woods. He was in the trees, crouched down, and I swear he had binoculars pointed toward your house.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows. Anger flickered inside me. This guy doesn’t stop. “That is strange.”
“I thought so and that’s why I wanted to tell you. Maybe it’s nothing, I hope it’s nothing. At first, I thought he might be hunting rabbits, which he sometimes does there. That’s Robin’s parents’ land and they don’t mind if he hunts there, but I don’t think he had a rifle.”
“Hmmm… I’m glad you told me,” I said. “I really appreciate it and if you see anything else odd, please let me know.”
“Most definitely.” Margie looked around. “Now I just need to find Doug. He’s probably by the funnel cake stand.”
I lay on the sofa flicking through Netflix and found nothing I was interested in watching, despite the many, many choices. Archie was at school today and I felt lazy. Honestly, I’d barely got out of bed the last few days. Maybe having a few months off from the store wasn’t a good idea for me. Some of those old feelings resurfaced for me, and I did not want to be pulled down to a state where I couldn’t even rise in the morning. I needed to make an appointment with my psychiatrist in Philly and perhaps get back on the medicine that helped me clear the chaos in my brain. Things had been good for the last few years, and I’d stopped taking it. My life was such a whirlwind for a while, especially after meeting Archie, then Aunt Lou’s death, getting married, buying our little farm, and settling in Poplin. But now things had slowed. I had too much time on my hands. And too many worries.
I’d told Archie what Margie said about John, and he’d brushed it off. Shouldn’t he be concerned about this odd friend of his? How did he not see John’s strangeness? He should always take my side. I was his wife! Anger surged through me thinking about it now.
This perfect life I thought we were creating in Poplin suddenly didn’t feel so perfect anymore. Had I just been caught up in the idea of it? I thought this would be my second chance at happiness and I was happy, for a time. But I still held the hope of being happy again. I felt so out of sorts. I needed to focus on the facts. Those facts being John sneaking around in the woods across the road. What did he think he was going to see with his binoculars? It was a cold January with snow on the ground. The only time we were outside was to feed the chickens, walk to the car or shovel snow. Or was he waiting for the house to be empty, so that he could leave another unsettling gift for me?
I picked up my phone and called Dr. Daly. I needed to get back to feeling good, mentally, and physically, to stay on top of things.
FORTY-THREE2017
The Commune
Dream
Sunny didn’t talk to me for three excruciating days. She kept the door to the guesthouse locked when she was inside and locked the door when she left, usually to go talk to Raindrop. I tried numerous times to talk to her, but she ignored me as if I didn’t exist to her. I was sure she hated me.
I mostly hung out by the pool, hoping to get a chance to talk to her. Venus kept her distance, and then she and Willow went to stay at Grandmother’s house for a few days, to help Moonbeam and Lilac with some new jewelry ideas since they were expanding on their creations. It was good to have distance from her as I sorted things out with Sunny.
Now it was evening, probably after eleven because everyone had gone to bed, and I lay on the cushioned lounge chair just outside the guesthouse door at the side of the shimmering pool. The lamp by the front window was on and Sunny was inside, probably asleep.
I couldn’t sleep, like the previous two nights. Sure, I’d get a few hours of rest here and there, but not much. I was an idiot. I knew what Sunny’s reaction would be, but I still tried. She was never going to forgive me.
I stared at the half-moon above me, enjoying the quiet of the evening, but this wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be inside that guesthouse, in bed with the woman I loved—the woman I would always love. I’d never felt like that with anyone else in my life, and I had completely screwed it up. Sunny and I were meant for one another. We were a team. Partners in everything. I never even told her what I was thinking about Venus. Maybe if I had, things would have been different.
The guesthouse door opened. Sunny stood in the doorway staring at me. She walked away but left the door ajar. I hurried over and walked inside.
“You unlocked the door,” I said, meeting her gaze.
“Yes.”
I moved closer to her. Her hair was damp and fresh smelling. She must have just taken a shower. “I missed you.”
“Did you?” she asked, a quick glare darted at me. “What about Venus?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, never dropping her gaze. “I’m stupid. I’m so stupid. Please forgive me.”
“Hmmm…” She moved closer to me. “You are stupid.”
I nodded.
“And I missed you too,” she said. Her lips hovered by mine. I kissed her softly. She responded, leaning into me. A few tears escaped my eyes.
“Thank you for forgiving me,” I said, wiping them away.
“Are you crying?”
“No. Maybe.” I kissed her again. “I promise no secrets between us ever. We tell each other everything.”
“Everything,” she agreed.
I kissed her neck, her breasts, and down her flat stomach. She laughed because her stomach was always ticklish. She pulled me back up to her, grabbed my hands, and led us to our bed.
