My anxiety is probably left over from when I used to have clothes delivered to me. That was always extremely fraught. It was only luck that nobody ever chose to look in them.

But I haven’t ordered anything since living here. And if I had, it’s no longer a secret. There is no need for me to be feeling this impending sense of doom.

An errant fleeting thought flits through me. Katy’s suggestion that Felford might take me clothes shopping is ridiculous. As is my flickering joy at the idea. It is never going to happen. So there is no point in thinking about it.

I reach my rooms and push the door open. The curtains are drawn and the winter light is too feeble to sneak around them. It’s gloomy and dark in here. Painted in shadows. The parcel is lurking on my writing desk. Simple brown cardboard, yet nothing has ever looked so ominous.

I approach it uneasily. The words ‘Count Consort Felford, Lucien Colville’ are scrawled on the address label. A proud smile stretches my lips. I haven’t been married long, so I haven’t seen my new name very many times. I like the look of it.

Then my world falls as I recognize my father’s handwriting. Now I know this parcel is nothing good.

With shaking hands, I open the box. I feel for all the world like Pandora, except unlike her, I have no choice at all. This must be done. At least that alleviates my guilt a little.

The first thing that greets me as I open the cardboard flaps, is shredded brown paper. Packaging. There is no note. Not that I was expecting one.

I take a deep breath and plunge my hand in. My fingers brush against cold metal almost immediately. As if the object rose up to seek my touch. I pull it out. Bits of coiled packaging scatter everywhere.

In my hand is a dagger. A six-inch blade. A metal that gleams like silver. Gorgeous carvings of ivy and oak leaves twist along it. It is very clearly of fey origin. If the style didn’t tell me that, the immense magic coiled within it would.

My gaze falls on a set of runes carved into the hilt. Shielding. The dagger’s power can only be sensed once it is being held. That is definitely going to make it easier to hide.

Gingerly, I place it back in the box. For now. I’ll find somewhere better in a moment.

A wave of disorientation washes over me as the endless power winks out of my ability to perceive it.

Oh my.

I don’t know what to think. I feel numb. I think my mind has shut down. Which is probably for the best. I don’t want to deal with this. I’d been doing an excellent job of not thinking about this at all. All my focus had been on trying to get my marriage stable.

I had assumed I’d get my honeymoon at least. Though why I thought that, I have no idea. Maybe some stupid, tragic part of me still held on to a glimmer of hope that they cared about me.

Clearly they don’t.

All they care about is that I’m now tapped. My magic has been unleashed. My powers are unbound. I can now do their bidding and it seems they see no reason to delay.

It’s time for me to perform my sacred task.

The only thing is, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be as bad at this as I am at being a vessel.

Heavens help us.

Chapter seventeen

Drew

Luci is holding my hand so tightly it is as if he thinks I’m the only thing keeping him afloat. We are only in a shopping mall, not even a particularly big or busy one. I’m not going to say anything about him nearly cutting off my circulation. I like the feel of his hand in mine far too much. I also like the neediness of his hold, because apparently I’m a sick and twisted bastard.

The possessiveness I get to display by holding his hand is a far more acceptable pleasure, and one I am also greatly enjoying. It’s clear Luci has absolutely no idea how utterly gorgeous he is. All the jealous looks being flashed my way, are going completely over his head.

He has no idea that people are looking at him and wanting him. None at all. It is so endearing.

He is dressed quite plainly today. Jeans, ankle boots and a cream-colored roll neck jumper. I’m assuming these are items from his conventional wardrobe. And it is fair enough that he is not brave enough yet to go out in a dress or a skirt. But I can’t wait until he is.

Imagine the attention he would get then? Being by his side would mean that I’d definitely get to puff up my chest and gloat. I’ll be fighting them off.

“Shall we try that shop?” I suggest as I gesture towards one.

“If you are sure there is time, my lord…” his beautiful green eyes flash up at me in alarm. “I mean…Drew.” His grip on my hand tightens even more.

I stop walking and pull Luci closer to me. My hand rubs up and down his arm in what I hope is a comforting gesture. His wide green eyes stare up at me.

“It’s fine Luci. None of these mundanes will notice a thing. If they hear you call me, my lord husband, they will just think we are in a weird cult or that it’s a kinky thing. Their minds aren’t going to jump to magic being real.”

Luci’s face goes pale and his eyes dart around the small crowd of shoppers swirling and milling around us.

I chuckle. “See? No one is paying attention.”

He panics for a few more seconds. Then he draws in a big breath. Seemingly fortified, he nods his acceptance.

“Are you sure you have time to take me shopping, Drew?”

The utter bewilderment and uncertainty in his eyes is punching me in the gut.

“Of course. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise,” I say tenderly.

My finger runs down the side of his face. He trembles and leans into my touch, chasing it. Then he blinks several times and pulls away. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are dark.

Arousal stirs low in my gut and my cock twitches.

“Touch starved little thing, aren’t you?” I whisper before I can stop myself. Damn it. That wasn’t the kindest thing to say.

Luci drops his gaze and bites his bottom lip. My fingers drift down to his chin and tilt his head back up to look at me again.

“I like it,” I assure him. “It means I get to touch you all I want.”

The bewildered lost puppy look is back. So I lean down and brush my lips over his. A swift, barely there kiss. But when I pull away, there is a strange look in Luci’s eyes. Almost as if he is intoxicated.

He blinks and seems to focus. His eyes start to fill with a different look. Now he is looking at me as if I hung the moon and the stars. My heart thuds in response.

Oh crap. Luci is vulnerable. Lonely. Needy. It would be all too easy to make him fall in love with me. A bit of love bombing. Probably not even that. Just being nice to him will probably do the trick, because I don’t think anyone has ever been nice to him in his entire life.

Fuck. I don’t want to trick him into falling in love with me. I hope we can settle into a pleasant, amiable, and peaceful marriage. But I don’t want this fragile young man to start worshiping me. I don’t deserve it.

“Come on! Let’s go shopping!” I say far too brightly.

I turn on my heels and tow Luci after me into the nearest clothes shop. He looks overwhelmed for a moment. Like a deer in headlights, then all of a sudden, he is making a beeline for the women’s section and pulling me after him. Soon he has abandoned my hand all together and is rummaging through the racks in excited abandon.

I watch him with a grin on my face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look so happy. The knowledge that I have done this is filling me with pride. My actions have brought Luci joy. I could watch him forever, but it doesn’t take long for him to accumulate a pile of clothes draped over his arm.