Then it hits me. Like a ton of bricks. All those internet jokes about ‘Netflix and chill’. Heavens, I’m such an idiot. Your husband inviting you to his room to watch a film and then plonking down and spreading his legs, probably means only one thing when you are traditionally trained and raised.
Luci’s hands reach for my belt buckle. I scramble back hastily, all but climbing up the sofa, as if he is on fire.
“No! No, no, I actually meant watch a film!”
He gives me a surprised look. “I’m very good at fellatio, my lord husband.”
My cock throbs and presses painfully against its constraints. Luci’s gaze drops down to my very prominent bulge. His brow furrows in confusion.
“I’m sure you are,” I wheeze.
Oh hell and heavens, give me the strength to fight this temptation. I will not take advantage of Luci. I will not be a monster. Having sex with him when he is ripe is a necessity, this is not.
I’d say yes in a heartbeat if I thought for one second he truly wanted to. But I strongly suspect he is merely being obedient. Mixed in with a strong desire to people please.
Luci flows gracefully to his feet. “Apologies for being mistaken.” His head is down. What I can see of his face is bright red. “I’ll leave you in peace, my lord husband.”
He turns to go but I grab his slender wrist. He freezes and stiffens, but he does not look at me.
“I’d prefer it if you stayed,” I say as softly as I can.
He nods and swallows audibly. “As you wish, my lord husband.”
I sigh. If it isn’t clear enough that he is freaking out, the fact we are back to ‘my lord husband’ with every sentence, is a dead giveaway. He is well and truly flustered. Demanding he makes a true choice for himself right now, is probably pointless as well as cruel.
“Come, sit beside me and let’s watch a film.”
I don’t want him to leave all embarrassed and then stew alone in his room over it. Watching a film is not taxing. He doesn’t have to say or do anything, except sit here. So hopefully he won’t fret about getting anything wrong.
I give him a little tug and pull him down on the sofa next to me. Right next to me. So that I can feel the warm weight of him.
I flick on the TV and press play on the first film that I find. When Luci has relaxed a little, I’m going to casually sling my arm over his shoulder and pull him even closer.
Snuggling up and watching TV together is going to be wonderful, I just know it is.
I think we have a long and rocky road ahead of us, but I’m determined. I’m going to give it everything I have.
I’m going to make this marriage work.
Chapter sixteen
Luci
There is something deeply satisfying about a good spreadsheet. I’ve been going through these ones for hours, and I can still appreciate them. Felford was right. Katy really does keep excellent records. I haven’t found a single error or problem.
Which is great, I suppose. Except it leaves me rather redundant. With Katy having everything in hand, literally everything, not just the accounts, there is nothing for me to do.
Except lie around waiting to be ripe.
And now I’m blushing. Well, at least there is no one here to see.
A heavy sigh escapes me. At least with my husband not having much need for me, I’m free to work on my sacred task. Something I keep putting aside far more than I should. Almost as if I don’t want to do it.
Gods. I’m not going to think about that right now. It’s too much to untangle.
I lift my reading glasses up to rub at my eyes. As much as I enjoy spreadsheets, my eyes certainly complain after a few hours. I need to do that twenty-twenty thing. Something about looking away from a screen every twenty minutes.
My gaze wanders around Katy’s office. It is lovely in here. Bright, while also being cozy. Some cute nicknacks. Not a speck of dust anywhere. Even my mother would not be able to fault it.
I truly am not needed. My magic is the only thing I have to offer Felford. He didn’t even want my mouth.
Shame floods me at that thought and I try to fight it. He didn’t want my mouth, but he did want me to stay. For nearly the entire evening. He even put his arm around me. It was wonderful. Being pressed up against him was the happiest few hours of my life.
It had to mean something. Surely? He is being so very kind to me. I don’t understand it. I embarrassed him in front of his friend. I had a long fit of hysteria, and his reaction is to be nice?
It doesn’t make any sense. Unless…oh my gods, I’ve been so dumb. It’s obvious. Why did I not think of this before? He is handling me with kid gloves precisely because he doesn’t want me to have another breakdown. Shipping me off to an asylum would cause a scandal. Nevermind the expense.
Oh, my gods! That’s it! It has to be. I’ve been such a stupid idiot to think it might be something else.
My lungs stutter. My hand rubs my chest, even though I know damn well that this pain I am feeling is not physical.
The door opens, and Katy walks in, startling me out of my brooding.
“Oh, sorry!” she says brightly. “I didn’t know you were in here.”
“It’s okay, I was just leaving,” I say as I get to my feet.
Her eyes widen. “That’s a pretty dress.”
